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1 June 2010 Lady Gaga vs Avril Lavigne

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 10 months ago

Posted by guest writer on 6/1/2010, 6:24 pm

(simguy results: guest writer prose)

Madison Square Garden buzzing with anticipation for a Memorial Day matinee. Crowd wondering whether Gaga has truly recovered from her brutal loss the previous weekend and which Lavigne they will see tonight, the one Front Street saw potential in, or the one that would rather flee than fight. Betting odds close, but favoring Gaga by 1.5. The newly coined “unholy trinity” of Franchise, Wiz, and Pointy sitting in the first row, eagerly anticipating a good fight after lunching at Sparks. The arena lights flash as Avril is first to the ring escorted by Paris Hilton. Lavigne wearing a red and white satin robe. Crowd gasping as Avril reveals a well toned midriff framed by red bikini top and white trunks and boots. Avril sporting Sk8rwear gloves, trunk skirt, and pink streamed hair. Gaga out next to the roar of her hometown crowd escorted by her newly appointed trainer, Stacy Keibler. Lady G wearing an odd white trenchcoat framed by pink faux-fur around the cuffs and neck. Upon entering the ring, the crowd roars as Gaga removes her robe revealing an American flag bikini top (from “Telephone” video) as well as matching trunks, boots and gloves. Harsh stare down before the fight. Both fighters seething, eagerly anticipating the bell.

R1: Gaga rushing out of her corner with reckless abandon catching a startled Lavigne by surprise. Lady G hurling high booming shots high sending Avril scurrying and forcing her to cover up high as she absorbs a lot of shots. Lavigne spooked by Lady G’s initial fury, constantly in retreat, forcing Gaga to chase her down. Lady G intent on brawling rather than boxing, continues attacking with high flurries, occasionally sending a jab through Avril’s guard to send her head bouncing back. Bell: Keiber urging Gaga to pace herself, and box rather than brawl. Lavigne ordered to slug it out by Hilton, being urged to slug it out. Paris’ reasoning limited to “your so hotter and stronger, pound her out girl.”

R2: Lavigne stomps out of her corner, closing the distance behind the jab as Gaga is forced to cover up and weave. Avril unloading sharp flurries of hooks to the body, forcing Lady G to drop her hands before taking a hard jab to the face. Gaga scowling, angered, begins to brawl with her foe belly to belly. Relentless exchanges as Avril and Lady G slug away on the inside hauling punishing hooks to the body, trying to back one another into the ropes. Final moments: Lavigne eats a hard cross to the scalp. Avril grimacing, bringing her elbows in, on the defensive, throwing less shots as Gaga throws three shots for each one of hers. Bell: Tight round, but Lavigne worse for wear, sporting a bright pink around her core.

R3: Girls meet mid ring, once again slugging away mindlessly trading hooks and crosses both hoping to drop their foe. Lavigne getting the better of this exchange stunning Lady G with a right cross, sending her backing into the ropes. Avril storming forward with quick high flurries as Gaga is forced on the defensive. Lady G blocking with her right, slapping away Lavigne’s jabs and answering with lefts of her own. Final minute. Gaga lands a left jab to the nose infuriating Avril forcing her lose her footing. Lavigne throws a sloppy left jab, HARD CROSS GAGA! Lady G easily evades Avril’s shot, landing a counter cross that drops a bewildered Lavigne to her glutes at the bell. Avril rises at nine before walking slowly into her corner. Hilton screaming at her, demanding that she show some freaking heart and “not let that skank bully you”

R4: Lavigne slowly out of her corner, demoralized. Paris’ failed motivational speech only leading to further doubts. Avril in constant flight opting for short flurries of “don’t hurt me” jabs to keep Gaga at a distance. Lady G patient, deflecting Lavigne’s increasingly weak punches, starting to time her. Gaga working behind her own jab, leaning back to avoid Avril’s shots before landing crisp combinations to the head forcing Lavigne to cover up in a Clottey like turtle shell defense. Lady G backs Avril into her own corner, pelting away at her guard with jabs before dropping the occasional left hook to the body, leaving Avril mouth breathing at the bell.
Gaga being lectured by Keiber during the break. “Kid your doing good, and you have her on the ropes. But you need to work the body, otherwise you will get tired.” Gaga listens bright eyed, sensing her first professional victory.

R5: Gaga quickly off her stool, working behind the jab as she backs Avril into the neutral corner. Lady G peppering Lavigne with quick one two flurries high to force her to cover up before further tormenting her to the body. Avril lunges forward in desperation with a hail mary haymaker, Gaga easily maneuvers around it, tucking a left hook into Avril’s liver, then easing weight to her right and responding with an uppercut of her own to Lavigne’s jugs. Avril sputtering, well struck, stumbling backward while employing a shoddy high guard. ON COMES LADY G! Gaga storming forward, fitting right hooks right above Lavigne’s hip sending shockwaves through her toned body. Avril sobbing aloud into her gloves, paralyzed. The crowd on their feet sensing a knockout, working into a frenzy. Lady G shifts her weight yet again, fitting a thunderous uppercut to the navel. DOWN GOES LAVIGNE! Avril stumbling forward after the blow, dropping to a knee. Lavigne holding back tears, hair in eyes, lowers her head as the ref’s count hits ten, refusing to fight any longer. KO5 Lady Gaga!

Post fight- Gaga overcome with emotion, leaping into the outstretched arms of trainer Stacy Keibler. Lavigne makes a quick exit to avoid a confrontation with her former management, stumbling up the ramp while holding her tattered body. “This is what I needed” states a jubilant Gaga, “This fight helped me begin to focus more on boxing then brawling. I’d like to thank Franchise for believing in me after my lackluster debut. Fergie… Victoria… I’ll be seeing you soon.”