Originally posted by Simguy on 3/1/2002, 7:13 am.

Before: Garner passed her test of brawn with Peta, now she gets a test of brains against one of the wiliest veterans in the game. Krakowski known as the “place where hot prospects go to die”, always relishes the opportunity to be the cold hard dose of reality for an up and comer, but there’s extra incentive here: “It’s no secret that with Theron

Busy, that number one contender spot in our division is wide open,” observes politically savvy Jane, “assuming Bell gets past Debbe, and I give Jenny a beating—the public’s going to want me in there next. I’m very comfortable against Cat and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love my position right now.”

Krakowski in orange sports bra, red bikini bottoms, Jennifer in red and white stripe sports bra to a high neck, solid red aerobics bottoms, high waist.

During R1: Krakowski with the right hand in her mouth, left across her body, looking to counter, but Jenny’s not cooperating. Garner banging away on that left eye with rangy jabs—Krakowski forced to parry with her right can’t close ground, Garner using distance exquisitely, drilling Krakowski with a firm stick, but never over-extending, never giving Jane the opening she’s looking for. Methodical shutout Garner.

R2: Garner back on that eye—hard, long jab giving Jane problems, Krakowski forced to make the fight as Jenny won’t bite on traps—Jane weaving to get close enough to rake her hook across Garner’s ribs. Jennifer leggy in the final minute, keeping her distance, steering the blonde midring—bouncing straight lefts and rights off Jane’s punished left eye socket.

R3: Garner’s rangy punching and beautiful ring generalship coaxing Jane out of her gameplan—Krakowski forced to turn puncher and come forward rather than hang back to counter. Krakowski with the right hand at her left cheek, left tight across her bodkin, bibs and crouches forward as Jennifer swabs her down with a steady stream of banging jabs, slashing right hands and swatting hooks. Jane landing solid single shots across the trunkline, but Garner’s controlling the action through 3.

R4: Garner HAMMERING away on Jane’s swollen left eye—Krakowski forced to back away in evident discomfort as Jenny henpecks her. Garner showing veteran patience thus far—everything straight and long, lots of leg in between punching—she’s not loading up enough to give Krakowski the chance to counter and when Jane comes forward, she’s getting picked up hard. Garner’s back and shoulder muscles humming into wiry relief as she gets off—she’s harder, bigger, and faster than the blonde—Krakowski struggling to compete.

R5: Jane has some early success inside, forcing the issue and banging away with short lefts and rights to Garner’s breasts—but Jenny answers with the fishhook left uppercut, pivots left, bites the hook to the temple, then ramrods the right hand down the middle to send Krakowski reeling back. Back outside, Jennifer continues to dominate the middle of the ring, jabbing the eye until Krakowski covers up, then helping herself to midsection with lanky hooks, always keeping the right hand tight to the cheek.

R6: Krakowski finally pulls the trigger—rolling with a Garner right cross, Jane comes back with a sweet counter right on the teeth—brunette knees give away as Jenny staggers to the side, Krakowski takes over, bumping with her left shoulder and shooting the right hand to the chin to jostle and bang Garner to the ropes. Steady beating along the perimeter—Garner digging in to defend herself—Krakowski keeping her head on Jennifer’s chest and snapping away to the flanks and breadbasket, coming off the body to curl a short right uppercut to rock the tall girl back. Garner woozy as the bell—Krakowski taking an appreciative look at her handiwork.

R7: Jane climbs back on, scorching Jenny early with a pair of sucker overhand rights, then twisting her hips to jam home the hook to the belly, Krakowski shoving and slugging in a blonde first minute, but Garner composes herself, punches with Jane and spins off the ropes after a crowd pleasing melee, Garner opens up the canvas, forcing Jane to walk her down, and Jenny lights the veteran up with a downward arcing right hand, beating Krakowski to the punch—Jane nearly corkscrewing into the mat as her own right hand sails over the top, All Garner as she turns the tide, BASHING heartlessly away on the rapidly closing left eye, bullying Jane to the ropes and beating her savagely with long armed strokes up and down both flanks, Jane shaken and wobbly butt at the bell.

R8: Shutout Jennifer Garner, Savage attention paid to Krakowski’s left eye—Jane not picking up the punches, head starting to shock back from the crisp, straight connects—she’s almost turning away to retreat, allowing Jennifer to get full extension on whistling right hands. Corner tells a shellshocked Jane that she needs a knockout—blonde just doesn’t have the answers thus far.

R9: Heartless jabbing to the swollen eye breaking Jane down, forcing blonde errors. End of the first minute—Krakowski recoils from the punishment, stepping straight back and Garner leans into a crashing right on the face that has Krakowski immediately wobbly butt. Jenny jabbing Jane to the ropes, then lighting her up sweet with the Vernon Forrest right uppercut—Krakowski’s feet shoot forward as she sits dazed in the ropes, helpless as Garner licks a bang/bang combination off her drowsy face. Somehow Jane gets it together to avoid the stoppage, but this is a dreadful, sustained round of punishment—Garner ON her girl with lashing lefts and rights, welting the body, clipping the uppercuts, Jane out on her feet at the bell, numbly wanders to the wrong corner as Jennifer Garner breaks into a happy smile—hugs her trainer prematurely.

R10: Krakowski fighting with a lot of pride—she’s been beat up tonight, but she’s not going out like a punk. Hammer and tongs toe to toe as both girls let their hands go—Garner looking to finish the show makes herself more available than she has been all night. Searing back and forth as the girls bend to the side to snap their punches across

the opponent’s face, then bend back the other way in brisk turns. Punch for punch, Jenny’s too strong—she’s bouncing Jane’s head in the final minute, brunette bringing her punches back to her chest to reset as blonde breaks down—Krakowski finishes up sullen and dazed on the ropes, taking a beating. Comes back UD10 Jennifer Garner,

After: Total dejection from Jane Krakowski who got her veteran butt KICKED ion the night—simply no answers for the distance and athleticism Garner was offering. Left side of Jane’s face looks like week old squid courtesy Garner’s vicious pokes—when asked if this outs any thought of Bell on the back burner, Krakowski grumbles “Catherine was never going to fight me, no matter how bad I looked. Cat’s hinky from the beatings I’ve given her—now she’s got the excuse she needed to avoid me altogether,”

Conversely, a beaming and jubilant Jennifer G has no title aspirations…yet: “I’m not ready for Cat bell,” gushes Garner, “This was a good fight, Peta was a good fight. I’m learning steadily, but I’ve got a ways to go before even dreaming of battling Cat for the title, To me, Catherine Bell is the quintessential celebrity fighter—smart, resourceful, fit. There’s no shame in her game and that’s exactly what I’m aiming for as well.”

Hey, isn’t that what she said before Jane and Peta?

Reposted by Archer 4/14/09.