By Simguy 5-1-04

Love her or hate her - Theron's always been willing to fight a ring card girl in a parking lot if even 3 people want to see it - this fight has that kind of grimy allure. "I guess there are a million 13 year olds that find Stacy attractive," smirks Charlize in prefight. "Personally I don't see it. People ask me why I'd deign to fight wrestling trash and the answer is: because she's there. Because people see long legs and blonde hair and immediately wonder if she could take Charlize. It's just a big thrill for my fans, it's a gift for Keibler and I love doing that sort of thing - anything for boxing. Does she have a chance? Of course not - this isn't about competition. It's about an Oscar winner stepping to a tramp and beating the daylights out of her. Who wouldn't want to see that?"

Charlize in cream bikini, Stacy in tan suede western style bikini by Jlo.

During R1: Theron showing no respect, jabbing just to locate Stacy in the body, then humming the right hand over the top. Keibler arms up, palms out - rangy limbs a formidable obstacle, Charlize having trouble punching through the forest. Awkward stuff - Theron trying to bring the fight - Stacy using her legs to create distance, but then suddenly stepping in to sling purposeful right hands to Charlize chin. Not a lot of meaningful contact - Theron in control takes the round, but having some difficulty sorting out Keibler's gangly style.

R2: Girls settle down, both looking to step in strong jabs from flat footed stances, then reach in to clinch, wait for the break. Stop and go stuff - girls trying to probe, paw and poke in hopes of bending in a screaming right, but both doing a nice job crowding and smothering. Theron the boss again at least territorially, but Keibler's height, long limbs, greater than expected strength proving mystifying through 2.

R3: Both girls look to raw slugging to break up the stalemate. Stacy with a long pawing jab, bending overhand right routine landing with popping authority to Charlize' chin. Theron gobbling the right hands, but hanging in there, licking back lanky to the body and soon both girls are hanging around on dangerous ground. Keibs able to get scorching right hands on the button, slinging and twisting into the blows, then lifting thick lefts and rights up into Theron's ribs and tummy. Charlize similarly loose-limbed, grazing Keibler's chin with slinging rights, lathering to the body with slicing strokes - gorgeous long blonde trade in a hectic third. Down the stretch, Stacy separates herself with a series of greasy right hands directly on the chin - Theron gobsmacked, stops punching, takes a steady diet of chin-swab, just babystepping forward with a sedated look - Keibler drifting home hurt to the bell. Ref pushing Stacy back - she's grinning at her success - Theron with a blasted, 'wha' happened?' look on her beautiful face.

R4: Keibs opens up where she left off, getting into nice range where she can bend in, sling the overhand right to chin - Theron posing for muscular strokes on her chin as crowd starts to react to the wallop. Charlize soaks it up like a champ, never takes a backward step - soon has Stacy bogged down in a hamhanded war of long limbed shellack at close, if not smothering range. Down the stretch, Keibler adjusts, bouncing outside a step, lifting that snapping, punishing jab off her thigh JC Candelo style - Theron staring in surprise as her face is spanked, spanked, spanked to the bell by a suddenly Klassy Keibler. Stacy's eyes dance at the sight of blood from Charlize' nose - Oscar winner looking scuffed up and worked-on through 4.

R5: OH THOSE RIGHT HANDS! Keibs able to step and get 'em, bending in with wallop, extending her knuckles to push off Charlize' chest while stepping right, then bending into the next whistling crack. Charlize put wobbly butt, now in a bad way - she's bravely trying to walk through it, but her legs are threatening to rebel. Keibler has the chin, takes it when she wants - now she comes back across that svelte waist hooks - giving Charlize something new to think about. Theron gut shot, cramping up, then another crashing blow lands to chin - she's falling off the pace. Stacy just easing to the right, staying nice and rangy with her punches, slicing through the target, following through all supple and willowy. Stacy also effective with that stinging up-jab from the hip - banging back Theron's face, making her stand up startled, then setting down on that chin again with the right hands. THERON'S LEGS GIVE WAY! Charlize finally staggering out of control to the ropes - eyelashes fluttering, lips curled back in disbelief and ON COMES STACY! Keibs with a big young grin, bending in as she pulls whip right hands onto cheek or wide to the body, dipping right to lather home the lefts - Charlize just dug in grim, getting busted up. UPPERCUT! Pretty punch from Stacy, left hand at her thigh, right nice and tightly curled, picking up Charlize' groggy face and driving her head straight back - poor Theron out on her feet, slumping against the ropes helpless! Stacy twisting her long frame to pull the hook off her thigh and lay it hard across Charlize' parted lips. Stacy extending both hands to push Charlize' face to the right, then Keibs actually grabs Theron behind the neck to pull her off the ropes, twisting her, turning her, pushing her back into the adjacent set of ropes, tugging her forward and lighting her up another curling right uppy! Lanky holding and hitting - Keibs just tugging, twisting and slugging - Charlize windblown, going where she's commanded, getting her stout chin checked over and over and over and CHARLIZE GOES DOWN! Crowd roaring to it's feet as the stroking shellack finally wears Theron out. SHE'S NOT GETTING OFF HER FACE! Charlize Theron sleeps it off - KO5 loser to upset minded Stacy Keibler!

After: Inconceivable! Best Actress In The World, Glamour Idol of Millions, Queen Of The Blondes, Her Imperial Majesty Charlize Theron is lathered into stupor and sent into shellshocked oblivion by a slutty Stacy K! And it's not over.

Keibler with her gloves removed, dives on in for dessert - plowing in hard from the side to bull dead-weight Charlize to her back, then it's a sumptuous cross body pin blonde on blonde! Theron's wet face lolling side to side, numb lips muttering KO'd protest - grinning Keibler takes firm hold of Charlize' right arm, extends it out to the side; legs scissor up Theron's left arm and Stacy's GLORYING in the moment. Official's trying to dislodge the long blonde upstart can't tug the limbs free - Charlize mewling, feeling the humiliation through her skin if not comprehending it yet - and Stacy wild with exuberance, tossing her head, flexing and quivering on top of Charlize with unspeakable delight - oh the humanity.

Keib's no less saucy in her postfight comments: "I promised my friends I'd go to Theron's tits if they were available, but she was just serving up her chin like she didn't think I could hurt her - I HAD to take it! Next time, I promise - if she can hang around for a few rounds, she WILL get a titty-stomp from Stacy Keibler!"