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10 July 2009 Claire Danes vs Jessica Simpson

Page history last edited by Archer844 14 years, 9 months ago

Posted by simguy on 7/10/2009, 9:00 am

BEFORE: Claire locking up Duff and Simpson for fights - what's Danes up to? "I've pretty much dismantled every pure boxer in the division," Claire shrugs, presenting the info as a recap of something that goes without saying, "it's time to branch out and bring the punchers under my control. Simpson's a ditz, but she's a chesty, heavy-swinging ditz who hitz with curvy weight, so she's a challenge. Duff's kind of the same thing, so getting them both done really rounds out my resume. When you can't slug Claire Danes, and you can't finesse her - girls are starting to realize they're just in there to take their beatings and add their names to my victory rolls." Simpsy scowling throughout, certain that she's being dissed somehow: she's feisty at the mic. "Claire's just like Lohan - tall and fragile," Jessica reports. "I hit a ton - way above my weight - and if Claire thinks I'm going to be confused by her BS, she's got another thing coming. Once I get her hurt, I'll finish her. No way bony chicks go the distance with all this (pops a double bicep and sloppy grin, utterly convinced that beef will solve the problem). Simpsy in pink dukes bikini; white gloves; white sneakers and socks. Claire in mauve bikini top with black bottoms; black gloves; white boxing boots with tassles.

During R1,2,3: Claire pin-pricking Simpsy to death: Danes pivoting around her poke, jabbing down onto Jess like she's trying to chip something off Simpsy's face. Danes working her angles - she'll pump stiff jabs...edge her left shoulder into Jess...pivot-left around Jessica's right flank - all while Simpsy's covered up, trying to block poke. Some power for Claire - she hurts Jessica with straight, drilling right hands poked up the middle: Simpsy's head kicking back, little legs stampin for balance as Claire steps away. Some shoeshining fun as well for Claire: thumbs pointing up, she'll scrub her knuckles side to side across Jessi's breasts, buffing 'em up proper, then leaning away, pivoting to the side to escape enraged Simpson receipts. Claire doing what she wants, taking cruel inventory of Jessica's various parts...Danes always breezy, confident back to her corner.

R4: Jessica's touched up, but not discouraged: still coming forward, swinging lusty. Danes jabbing and shearing off - encountering more difficulty as Jessica's letting hands go, just trying to douse Danes with volume. Claire scuffed about her head and cheekbones as she's pivoting - Jess stepping-with, getting off: Simpsy rarely in position or on balance, but scoring glancing contact nonetheless. Down the stretch, Danes attempting to pivot-left: Jessica bounces a swinging right off Claire's left temple - Danes' legs give way, spilling her to ropes. Claire suddenly derailed, hands at temples: Jessica SAILS into midriff, both hands blazing. JMD style volume hammering at Claire's flanks as Jessi wails away wide: Danes momentarily paralyzed, butt-in-ropes as she stoops forward, sponging it up late.

R5: Surging pressure from Jess: she traps Claire ropeside, continues the good work to Danes' toned torso. Claire butt-in-ropes, leaning forward behind her mitts, just trying to keep her head close. Jessica swinging at the body, then getting underneath, pushing Claire upright: Simpsy a little bulldozer in there, stacking Danes up to better get at those ribs! Claire grimacing, taking a good thumping, but she's composed - using her shoulder to nudge Jess; twisting side to side, or leaning back into ropes, creating angles and gaps. Down the stretch, Claire leans into ropes, slipping a whistling Simpsy right; Danes bounces off ropes with a stubby little right to right side of Jessi's head, startling her. Smooth outside-in left uppercut picks Jess up onto her toes: Simpsy's hands out to either side, face up to the ceiling as she soaks the rip. Sleek pivoting turn from Claire puts Jessica in the ropes, reversing their positions: good lathering flurry from DAnes as she lets her hands go, slapping Jess into a jury-rigged earmuff. Showy stuff from Claire enough to steal a good Simpson round - veteran just swabbing away head and shoulders on Jess to the bell.

R6: Jessica touched up, pinking up nicely, but she's a stubborn little plugger - continuing to pressure Claire around the ring. Danes sliding back, fitting Jessica for drilling lefts and rights: Claire pursing her lips, narrowing her eyes as she scrubs away on oncoming Jess. Simpsy wading through it, then lobbing in overhand rights/lunging hooks: bombastic blonde slugging backing Claire to ropes. Danes employing flurry-and-spin tactics to get round Jess, clearing the ropes; Simpsy rapidly giving chase, all tummy, jugs and backside in pursuit. Down the stretch, Jessica punishing Claire at the ropes: Danes bends forward at the waist, weaving her torso to her left: Jessica slugging, puts a right hand awkwardly into the joint of Claire's rightside neck/shoulder. Awkward blow drops Claire to her knees: Jessica squeals, hops away all jugs a-jumpin'...she's just won the sixth 10-8!

R7: Danes determined to bang for respect: Claire in forward aspect, weight on front (left) leg, working Jess with rigid left uppercuts/choppy straight rights while sliding back in wide stance. Simpsy getting picked apart, but storming forward: time and again her right hand curves over top Claire's head as Danes just dips in time. Danes turns at the ropes, lures Jess forward again: Simpsy gobbling punches, but jiggling ever forward, being stubborn. Down the stretch, Claire at the ropes, straightening to get right uppercuts under Jessi's chin; Simpson pours in clubbing overhand right and DROPS DANES TO HER BUNS! Claire clipped, goes straight down - her knees hitting her chest en-route as she sits out of it. Jess: squealing, jumping away at full volume. Claire: stunned, staring bleak, sitting on left hip, ropes at her back - Simpsy's just taken the lead on the cards.

R8: Danes back to poke-and-pivot - keeping up a steady tapping against Jessi's face. Claire pivoting left, not even turning the jab over - she's chipping away with the thumb pointed up, just scraping at Jessica's eye/cheek/mouth. Danes smart on the pivot - frequently bending low as she turns: Jessica's winging right hands miss over top as Simpsy doesn't account for Claire bobbing head movement. Bell to bell Claire: she touches Jessica up, doesn't pay the price, stabilizes the front through 8.

R9: Two way action results as Jess able to secure good position on ropes, frequently fighting off Claire's chest. Danes leaning weight into Jess, trying to smother li'l juggernaut: tall girl bending down to get cheek to cheek with shorter vixen. Both digging well: Jess bouncing tight right/lefts off Claire's hips; stacking her up; swinging wide to the head any time Claire's upright. Danes trying to stay low, bumping with Jess, then leaning back into ropes to pick her up uppercuts. Good stuff: Claire picking Jessica apart - licking little counter uppercuts really jerking Simpsy's head around in close.

R10: More pressure from Jessica - once again she's establishing to Claire's chest, getting underneath, stacking and jacking. Danes suffering through much of the first two minutes: she's keeping elbows in, twisting side to side, rolling her torso - just trying to distribute the punishment. Down the stretch, Claire leans back into ropes, licks that limber left uppercut to Jessi's chin: SIMPSY'S ROCKED! Jess wobbly-butt, jiggly-jugged - she reaches in woozy abound Claire's ribs, hanging on for break. Ref pushes 'em apart - Jessi still weak-kneed: Claire forward behind smooth one-twos, bending in and down on the right hand as she scores in between Jessi's mitts. Good late power from Claire steals the round, salts away a very close UD10.

After: Danes puffy faced, angry at how her showcase turned into a little blonde Stalingrad: she storms from the ring under heavy escort, refusing to give interviews. Jessica all lumped up, but enjoying the vacated ring: two knockdowns of Danes, even in a losing effort, one of the real career highs for Simpsy. "She wasn't very strong," Jess blurts in postfight, happy to be talking. "Plus - I was in working her chest, and it was like hitting a couple of cupcakes! My jugs totally backed up her jugs in this fight!"