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10 July 2010 Ashlee Simpson vs Jamie Lynn Spears

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 9 months ago

Posted by simguy on 7/10/2010, 9:24 am

BEFORE: "I don't see how bytch can beat me," Jamie Lynn shrugs. "She's like a poor-man's Lohan, only without the jugs, I mean - that's a quick 2 points, you know? I'm just better in all respects, and you KNOW Brit's gonna mop the mat with Jess, so it's a Spears clan sweep, boys!" Ashley not as convinced of Jamie Lynn's pedigree. "You know - THREE of us are legit celebrities - important young women in our own rights," Ashley says with venom. "ONE of us is a cheap slut who's famous for being pregnant. Honestly - I don't see how Jamie can rate with Jess, Brit, and Me. I'm a huge TV star - an international recording artist - at least my stuff competes with Jessica's. Jamie Lynn? She's TOTALLY riding her sister's coat-tails. I'm sorry - this little tramp doesn't belong in the FCBA, and I'm gonna beat that little brown body of hers to prove it!" Ashley in green/black tartan print bikini; dark brown suede boxing moccasins with fringes all around the ankle; small black work out mitts; hair in dark red tangly-curls (long). Jamie Lynn in white bikini top/green bottoms; short tan UGG boxing booties; small white work out mitts; hair in twisty bun with bangs.

During R!: Ashley making great show of her willowy legs/long arms - batting mitts together, loping around all arms akimbo. Jamie Lynn more compact - hopping in her stance - dukes up/elbows in. Rangy left strikes at Jamie's high guard, fixing it: Ashley licks bandy-armed right/left against little brown Spears-paunch as promised. Ash leans well back on hips to avoid the receipt hook; leaning back in to strap Jamie Lynn a stroking right upside the head/jaw. Lickin' and lashin' from Ashley - pretty tasty, limber stuff - vexing Jamie. Spears establishing to the Simpson rack - first with jabs, then with punishing one-twos: both girls scoring through middle minute exchanges. Down the stretch, Ash in wide stance cuffs a limber left upside Jaime's head - then jabs her face - then slides the right hand through to chin with sleek grace. Spears punched wobbly-butt, momentarily stumbling back on her heels: Ashley lopes in - strapping the slow/wide hook up top, then slinging home an extra sliding right to face-punch Jamie into ropes. Bell: Spears hurt, gobsmacked: Ashley making "I'm prettier" eye contact as she surveys the damage.

R2: Ashley stepping around all rangy - arms akimbo as she swivels into position, then licks Jamie bendy-backed strokes. Spears staying compact, ducking into shots/blocking on high mitts, but not getting off: Simpsy doing a good job keeping Jamie off balance. Little damage done, but it's a bamboozling Simpson shutout second.

R3: Ash being first again - and dictating with her legs: sinewy little redhead beguiling her blonde - stepping around in wide stance, making Jamie feel positively stocky in comparison. Spears punching clearly out of rhythm: she's coming up short, or getting off late - clearly confused by Ashley's unorthodox limberness. Simpsy licking bandy-limbed right/lefts to paunch as Jamie's stooped forward behind mitts; lashing either hand across Jamie's tight brown back like she's whipping Spears with a rubber hose; feathering Jamie jabs to keep her occupied, then stepping in rangy to slide home right hands. Bell: Ashley makes eye contact, purses lips - really getting on young Spears' nerves through 3. Jess Simpson at ringside, standing/applauding; Britney staying composed - gesturing from ringside 'settle down' whenever she catches Jamie Lynn's eye.

R4: Spears storms out brash, walks into punches, fails to get off, settles down behind her guard to stalk confusing prey again. Ashley cooing to Jamie, mocking her. Simpsy loping around - hands stacked at tummy/elbows akimbo (out to either side) - from this posture she'll dip and whip her shots, shellacking Jamie in her flanks/upside her head. Results in a lot of slapping when Ash can't turn the shot over, but she's dousing Jamie in leather, having a suppressive effect. Bell: Ashley flops out a late left jab - backhanding it neatly against the inside of Jamie's right tit with an audible PIK!

R5: Jamie's best round by far, following a serious "yer blowin' it kid" speech during break. Jabs to close - Jamie keeping right at her cheek as she locates Ashley. Combinations inside Ashley's jab-circle - bouncing mitts off lean tummy and rib meat hup-hup-hup. Simpson doesn't like the snappiness of Jamie's quick mitts - redhead lopes the perimeter, getting leggy with it. Spears hunting, but cautious: covering up and blocking whenever Ashley stops to drop in slinging right hand leather. Bounce in Jamie's step back to her corner: she's on the board.

R6: Ashley halts the rally - keeping Jamie at arm's length; touching her up all rangy. Succulent right/lefts really tearing at Jamie's little brown belly-mound: Spears hunching forward behind her mitts, taking cranky. Ash bendy backed on her hips - leaning away from snappy hook-receipts, causing Jamie to shoot short. In, out, swivel-pivot around - Simpsy a gangly treat to watch touching and tormenting her foe. Becomes more than a nuisance over latter half: strapping, sidearm right strokes Jamie ear-to-chin, stunning her, leaving her staring; few moments later a jagged left uppercut/clockwise pivot routine nearly puts Jamie on her face as her right hand fans air. 10-8 Ashley without the knockdown: Jamie's legs shabby on the stumble back to her corner. During the break, Ashley's trainer gives her the green light on Jamie's jugs, bringing a mean grin to Simpsy's lips.

R7: Ashley shortening up stroke, wading into Jamie to refresh her jugs: it's a mistake. Spears with those snappy-snatching hands at close quarters, easily chops/cuffs/swipes/swats her foe in nimble exchanges. Simpson digging for rack via rangy uppercuts, but pasted about her face and jugs in receipt - Spears proving able to fight usefully in retreat, walking Ash into punishment.

R8: Ashley wises up - gets back to circling/slapping at Jamie to set up whippy licks. Spears stroked time and again ear-to-chin by Ashley's side-slinging right - Simpsy just tilting all bendy to the left and strapping Jamie silly. Simps also doing a great job leaning away in the nick: time and again, Jamie comes up short on hooks, exposing herself to calling-card leather. Expensive foray into Jamie's rack last round a lesson learned for Ashley: when she goes jug now - it's usually via a backhand lapping jab, working over the right tit with clapping impacts. Bell: Ash cute over her shoulder, chirping "You're losing!" to sullen Jamie as they pass.

R9: Jamie turns puncher: no choice. Spears walking Ash down behind a rigid peek-a-boo: Simpson grinning, sliding back in her stance, walking little J into lead rights/bandy-armed hooks while shifting weight to back (right) leg. Ash luring J to ropes, then turning her - redhead gangly-sweet here, a little awkward, but turning her foe like a champ. Down the stretch, Spears bobbing her way in close ERUPTS to Ashley's jugs - pasting those puppies a sudden, tidy, left/right/left/right in chopping sequence. Ashley aghast, trying to step into a wide slugging stance...she brings the left up off her hip to issue payback but GETS BEAT THE HOOK! Jamie faster - turning over a tangy little clipper to chin...DOWN GOES ASHLEY! Simpsy blown to her buns - back in ropes, otherwise she would've rolled prone - she struggles up for wide-eyed 8 as li'l Jamie Lynn paces seething. Bell: Jamie steals the round, but doesn't get the chance to finish: badly rocked Ashley clutches top rope to steady her gait en route to corner.

R10: Ashley runs for her life, drawing angry BOOOS from the audience. Jamie pouring forward - spear-jabbing Ash to midsection to locate, then trying to end her with jumped-in power shots. Easier said than done - Simpsy proving slippery as wet soap - squirting out of traps and loping for freedom to extend the chase. goes to the cards, comes back UD10 Ashley Simpson!

After: BOOOO! Crowd not happy...Ashley preening as though she's just wrestled Cameron Diaz into submission; hugging and laughing it up with Jess. Jamie Lynn Spears just giving the awkward redhead a bit too much of a head start in this one, trying to keep a stiff upperlip as gloves are removed in subdued corner. "I bested her in every way," reports Ashley as scattered booing continues in postfight. "I was faster; prettier in the exchanges; harder hitting. She was crying out from my body work - and every time I was mean to her at the breaks, she looked like she was going to cry! It just proves that she's a little nobody: when a true celebrity takes the ring - normal girls shrivel! I probably would've beaten Britney tonight!"