Maxim Lightweight Championship Tournament:

Finals

PART I

Originally posted by Simguy on 6/10/2006, 8:45 am.

Before: “I respect what Catherine’s done so far in the tournament,” always-gracious Bell acknowledges in prefight, “but I notice one important face about her qualifying fights: nobody hurt her. If you can buckle Zeta Jones’ legs, she’s a completely different fighter/ I’m looking to get her off her feet, shake her up—whether it’s up the chin or the body—I need to hurt Catherine early. After that, I’ll be able to pick and chose what I want—sort of Zeta Jones ala carte.

“Someone’s got to rein Cat Bell in, and it falls to me to bring her to heel,” Jones says with a somber expression. “What she did to Kaley Cuoco was beyond the pale and I won’t tolerate it any longer. Someone has to stand up and tell Cat, ‘No’: I’ll be the someone who metes out justice at long last to this loose cannon.” Bell crossing her arms, shaking her head and staring tight-lipped into the dais: Jones batting her eyelashes, grinning primly—neatly assuming the moral high ground as ‘Defender of the Innocent’ for this fight!

Cat in white FHM bikini, white gloves. Jones in leopard print ‘monokini’ (this is a one-piece, cut in an exaggerated  S pattern to reveal midriff, flank and back—looking from some angles like an off-the-shoulder bikini; black gloves with leopard print cuffs.

During R1” Bell sdtaying backm, using her height, jabbing Jones’ forehead as Brit looks to step into hooks. Minute mark: RIGHT HAND, CAT BELL! Jarring blast intercepts Jones on the jaw, bunches her up slightly, then backs her off—mission accomplished Cat Bell as Jones is hurt. Cat over to offence, swinging punches into Jones’ expensive midriff—CJZ issuing the fights first breathless clinches, wincing as she holds Cat close for the break. Bell cautious rest of the way, keeping Zeta J out on the end of the jab, threatening her with right hands, stepping clockwise to turn Jones’ flank to the bell, Shutout with power, Cat: textbook opening stanza for the TE vixen.

R2; Jones jabbing-with, has some success early hooking off the jab and backing Cat up, Bell using her legs, bounding back from pressure, then turning at the ropes—by the minute mark, she’s reining Jones in with a stout jab off the shoulder, pushing Jones in her shoulders, then hooking her heavily in the paunch, Down the stretch, both women swinging wildly—Bell pitches a skidding right, ducks down to slip under Jones’ right hand, comes off of the crouch with a vicious slinging hook and JONES GOES~WOBBLY BUTT! Caroming blast off Jones’ right temple sends her ashen-faced to ropes—creamy thighs a-jiggle as bell sounds before Cat can follow up with the lead pipe. Cat stomping business-like to her corner: convincingly control through 2.

R3: Belly jabs from cat—stooping, reach’em in: Jones on her heels, looking tentative. Minute mark, Cat steps in, slaps a wide hook to gather Jones in, then leans in to a short, pulverizing right hand off the Zeta J forehead: CATHERINE’S STEPPING IN FENCE POST HOLES! Jones desperately hurt—reaches in to hug loose around Bell’s waist—Cat standing tall, slapping away at Jones’ body outside the extended arms as ref moves in. Tears standing in Jones’ eyes—she’s being rudely beaten at this point—whipped through the streets like a commoner—Bell walking her down and pushing her pillar to post. Jones shying away then reaching in to clinch—glomming around Bell’s head, tieing up her arms, hugging her around the waist. Cat just being strong, moving her hands even as Jones is trying to grapple, bumping British tummy and ribs with chugging action through 3.

R4: Jones shows those tap-dancing, jabbing judiciously while stepping to her—counter-clockwise movement gives British boxer initiative in the fourth. Cat stalking, but not cutting off the ring—every time she hounds Jones to ropes, Zeta J ducks, comes up with a hug around Cat’s ribs and gets the break. Jones spotting her jab belly, breasts and chin—she SHOWS the right hand, but it’s a feint—just keeping Bell off balance, Catherine oin the board at last, ising class to do it.

R5: Spirited boxing midring—both women standing their ground and slugging hard right hands, whistling come-back hooks. Both issuing tactical clinches, accepting the opponent onto the chest, backing into ropes for breaks, Jones eyes wide as she leans into wallop: Bell comparatively cool, blocking shots with a high guard, answering back crisp counters. Down the stretch, Cat with earmuffs on, leans forward and rolls with a batting series of Jones lefts and rights up top: Bell dips her left shoulder, switches her hips to the right and pulls a withering counter-hook flat to Catherine’s paunch, bunching the Briton

up gasping! Jones groaning, reaching in to snuggle up around Bell’s waist: Cat keeps butt back, back straight as she bangs away behind the elbows, continuing to soften up her foe’s body until ref’s break.

BELL/JONES conc.

Posted by Simguy on 6/10/2006, 8:46 am,

R6: Cat on the attack, shelling Jones jabs along the ropes, leaning in with the right hand as Catherine bobs and weaves. Minute mark—Jones rolls with a Bell right hand, comes back in underneath with a tucking right hand to crotch, bodying up in a quick hug to conceal the infraction from the ref. Gasping Bell momentarily paralyzed: Jones able to twist Cat to the right, putting her back to the ropes. Jones working off Bell’s chest now—pushing her head through Cat’s gloves, pulling down on Cat’s wrists—Jones putting together compact swatting blows, tidying up Bell’s waist and chin as Cat reels, Bell upright, just using hands to control Jones’ head, hoping to blunt anything ticketed for the head as Jones mauls for points in the sixth.

R7: Bell working behind her jab, stepping it in with authority, baring her teeth as she spokes Jones between the eyes or punches her mouth. Jones glaring, turning as Cat circles—Catherine keeping weight on the back foot, bobbing and weaving—she just can’t penetrate that classy Bell stick. Down the stretch—girls trade hooks: Cat to the midsection; Jones to the chin—Bell steps away slightly shaken, Jones pounces with that sudden right hand, chopping it over Bell’s left hand: hatchet stroke buckles Bell’s knees, forcing her to cover up midriff. Jones snarling as she jerks a muscular left uppercut through the guard, pivoting left, then jerking the hook into Cat’s ribs. Another pivot left puts Cat’s body in between Jones and ref: DIGGING left hand sinks into Bell’s bikini bottoms, bunching her up with a sobbing moan, Jones turns on the shortest of short right hands, bouncing mitt off forehead as Cat leans forward, then steps in, reaching her left arm under Cat’s right and BURYING the right hand to the belly button while pancaking Bell to ropes. Cat’s head whiplashing on a limp neck—she ties up weak around Jones’ head, but doesn’t hook an arm: Jones able to wriggle atop her foe, arms crooked at 90 degrees angles to rigidly pump- at tummy and get extra hurt on Bell before ref’s break, bell wobbly butt at the break: Jones lumping up puffy, but looking the fresher vixen as she greedily assesses the damage with a frank stare.

R8: Hardhearted fighting—Jones able to collapse distance and trade blows with Cat toe-to-toe. Bell tightens up stroke well for a long-armed lass—she’s keeping her hands up, biting lefts and rights off Jones’ temples, stepping back to walk Zeta J into harm. Jones advancing, sometimes thrusting a stubby jab into Cat’s face to get her backpedalling, then coming in with an assortment of chopping rights, clubbing lefts. Both girls clouting one another’s skulls and jaws—both starting to fight with groggy determination on slack-jawed faces, Round’s end: Bell straightens wearily…AND TAKES~A CHEAP LEFT HOOK! Tempers flare as Jones lands late—Cat snarling, reaching over the ref as official struggles to maintain order.

R9: Jones neatly timing Bell’s jab, slipping inside it with a step, answering clean, biting hooks-to-chin: Bell on her heels, looking glassy-eyed as Jones backs her to ropes. JOMNES WANTS JUG! Sudden, furious and unexpected: Catherine Zeta Jones gets in close, shrugging her shoulders to work Cat’s mouthwatering breasts with ringadingdong fury! Bell forced to clinch, holding Jones close—Bell whimpering softly as she sags into the ropes, tears welling up. Ref’s break—Jones champing at the bit: she’s attacking hungrily, pouncing in Bell at the apron with overhand rights and leaping hooks. Jones pushing her head in between Cat’s gloves, staying on Cat’s chest: Catherine really punishing the Bell midsection and ribs with crooked-arm pumping, looking for opportunities to pull Cat’s weary hands down and clout her face in close. Shutout Catherine Zeta Jones: she puts Bell’s back in the ropes for all three minutes.

R10: Both girls puffy-faced, disheveled, rising from stools with resentful glares to decide the title. Hard jabbing—both ladies pushing in off the ball of the right foot to thrust at chests and chins, backing the opponent up with spank. Hard right hands: Cat’s a long, classic cross; Jones often a counter-shot over Bell’s jab—shorter, choppier, more abrupt. Tidy hooks—right hands kept tight to cheeks as both women seek ribcage and chin. Though both are hurt and a little shopworn, both stay defensively sound—moving their heads after punching, bobbing their torsos, stepping out to change up distance, Cat bell gets the btter of a hard-punching, tactical tenth and this thing is all knotted up: five rounds a piece. They’ll fight an 11^th and deciding round.

R11: Cat jabbing: Jones gambling, timing the poke, stepping inside and connecting almost simultaneously with that short, counter-hook onna chops. Bell reeling back, covers up face-in gloves: Jones squares away and chugs amidships—pumping lefts and rights bump and shake taut Bell tummy until cat ties up breathless. Ref’s break—Jones pouncing in with a stiff-arm jab, pushing in to smother Bell: Cat safe behind her mitts, but pinned down, can’t punch. Jones shoeshines—rubbing, scrubbing, straight lefts and rights bouncing off Bell’s guard or bumping her face harmlessly—then Catherine leans in, hugging Cat around the arms, bearing her into the ropes again. Jones smart—getting of, then bodying up—never lounging on Bell long enough for the ref to art them: every time he barks—Jones pushes out those shoe-shining flurries to score harmless points. Final minute—Bell knows she’s lingered too long—looks to punch her way off the strands: EATS A JONES RI*GHYT UPPERCUT! Cat caught flush, legs buckling—she takes a seat in the ropes. Jones’ eyes pop wide as saucers: she busts Cat a clouting right across the mouth—pushes into her and gets stacked right atop left at her tummy, eyelashes fluttering, swollen lips parted—JONES IS PILING ON! Catherine POURING it to stunned Bell—leaning in with the left at Cat’s chest to stabilize, pushing off the ball of the right (back) foot to propel short, drifting rights in across the face, Jones just turning her torso into these short 6 inch wallops—no backswing, round ends with Jones helping herself to Car’s drowsy face—ignoring the bell to keep pounding until ref reefs her off. Jones giddy as a schoolgirl, lifting her mitts, then falling into the arms of her trainer and hugging everyone in sight: she’s the NEW Maxim Lightweight Champion via one point UD11.

After: Cat standing hands on hips, puffy and downcast—classy brunette willing to share her thoughts with nosy Tractorpull reporter who wants the scoop. “She wanted it more than I did,” Bell admits, shrugging. “In don’t like Catherine Zeta Jones, but I have to give her credit tonight—she fought me like I’d stolen husband or something. I had a lot of success against her early and maybe I started taking her for granted—I’ve never seen the kind of determination in Joes that I saw in her tonight.”

Jones crying, laughing, touching her head against friends: in victory she’s very human, almost likable. “Not bad for a little Welsh Girl, eh?” Jones jokes on camera. “Bell came at me with everything she’s got tonight, but I just wouldn’t be denied by her. In the past, she’s gotten the best of me late in our fights, but I got into SUPREME condition for this contest and it surprised her, I outboxed her, I outbrawled her, I put a body on her—not the other way around. I did everything Bell usually does to her opponents, and she had no answer for it.

Reposted by Archer 7/6/09