(UNIFIED WELTERWEIGHT TITLE BOUT)  by simguy 3/10/02

"I never wanted it to come to this," plays the common Jones refrain, "I left the KruZherS amicably, confident that I'd taken Charlize as far as I could, but the backbiting started almost as soon as I was out of earshot. The way she's acting, I don't know whether to fight Theron, or spank her. I just might have to do both."

Intriguing match up, both girls prototype long blondes with wheels and pop, both know each other so intimately it's impossible to predict what could emerge. Theron in her prime, Janet perhaps on the far side of her peak, consensus is that JJ's best shot lies in going for the stoppage sooner rather than later.

Janet in navy open polo neck two piece (white collar), ponytail; Charlize in black leather bikini, hipster bottoms, padded bra style top with ostentatiously sturdy straps. Tense stare down ends as Charlize impulsively gives her former mentor a kiss on the cheek - cold glare from Janet in return.

Round 1: Charlize gliding counterclockwise behind the jab Janet taught her, keeping the stick on Jones and dictating the round. Janet closing up her stance, left hand low, right hand at her mouth - she's parrying a lot of jabs with her open-palm right, forcing the punches to whistle past her left ear, but she can't pull the trigger herself as Theron's legs post a breezy shutout. Charlize saucy after the bell, spanking Janet's rump in mockery of Jones' prefight rhetoric - ref interceding to preempt the riot.

Round 2: Charlize too quick early on - now going to work on Janet's crows feet with banging jabs, spearing in the right cross, always keeping her distance. Beautiful dancing rhythm from Theron - she has distance and timing judged exquisitely, always just out of reach as Jones fans on her counters. Charlize pot-shotting tummy in the final minute - lancing straight right hands in with thudding contact, driving Janet ropeside at the bell. Theron nodding, smiling - six minutes of fighting and Jones hasn't laid a glove on her - Janet reddening around the eyes, looking flustered early.

Round 3: Janet comes out banging and gets on the board. Pumping lefts to the trunks shoot Charlize' hips back - wrapping up Theron's right arm in her left for some TOUGH HOLDING AND JUG MUGGING as Charlize tries to shake off the fouls. Jones not letting up - she bodies Theron to the ropes, still grappling the right arm and twisting in vicious right forearms to the breasts, bodying up on contact to disguise the infraction and pouring on the punishment. CHARLIZE HOWLS AS JONES CRACKS SACK - ref finally pushing the two apart to give Theron a chance to breath. Janet plowing back inside with a sweeping overhand right, clocking Charlize' face with the kind of punch we've seen from Nolin, Campbell and other bangers. Referee issues a stream of breaks as Charlize is mugged repeatedly up against the ropes, but down the stretch, Theron starts to get her own justice. Banging free-for-all develops, Janet and Charlize trading licks tough to the ribs and chin - Theron stepping Jones back under intense fire. Jones suddenly wobbly butt, losing control of her legs - she falls in to clinch, but Charlize won't have it. Charlize picks her teacher up hard with the left uppercut, then shoulder butts Janet in the teeth as Jones tries for the clinch, finally nailing Janet on the way out with a searing right. Jones backing straight up in a fog - Charlize steps with her and leans into more gorgeous right hands, splashing them upside Janet's head and sending her woozy to the far ropes. All Theron in the dying moments, heaping on the leather - batting lefts and rights to the sides and across the lower back as Janet slumps forward, face blank with pain. Charlize steps back, licking her fists up underneath with chugging ferocity as Jones goes numb, droops to all fours in stupor. IT'S OVER! Janet Jones all used up, stares drowsily into space as she can't get off her right hip - KO3 for the winner and NEW welterweight champion - Charlize Theron!

Total, sickening dominance surprises everyone as Charlize pounds Janet out EASY! Ali Landry with her hands in her hair, clearly distraught - Gena Lee Nolin shaking her head - no established welterweight can be happy to see this. A blubbering Janet Jones is taken for a giddy walk of shame - Theron beaming ear to ear with the unexpected romp over a very polished blonde tonight. She broke Janet down with her legs, then hammered away for the victory as Jones looked to get cheap.

"Finally, some class has returned to welterweight," Charlize gloats in post fight, "Now that I'm here, we can rejuvenate this boxing backwater and turn it into the tiffany division it once was. Those of you who thought I would settle a personal score and move on had better change your plans: I'm going to be here a long time, and you WILL feel my weight in the months to come. First up I'd like to announce that Naomi Campbell's prayers have been answered: she has been begging - literally - to get back in the ring with me and I have no qualms about reinforcing the terms of our relationship again. The rest of you girls - line forms on the right. As for Janet - I would have loved for her to give me more, but we all saw what happened. The only way she can hurt me is outside the ring with her constant machinations - when it's woman to woman, Jones can't get it done. Pam called this right from day one in camp - she told me to use my legs and look for the openings and that's what I did."