(What do you know? I got a dial tone this morning. Right then: better use it while I've got it).

Before: Milano relentlessly taunting Ledoyen - branding her "Chinny Virginie," and "VirCHINnie Ledoyen" throughout prefight. "I'll toss a couple at her head," drawls Alyssa, "just to see if she'll lay right down for me - but I'm basically in this sport to beat girls in their bodies until they quit. Sarah exposed Ledoyen's chin: I'll expose her tummy - this girl can't stand up to American muscle." Ledoyen stung, but very brave - she won't cave under Milano's rhetoric. "Alyssa can be as mean to me as she wishes," Ledoyen pouts, "it will all be repaid in the ring. We at TU are very aware of Alyssa's shortcomings and I will be reminding her of them in this fight. I will kiss the tears from her ugly face when I am finished destroying her." Virginie in lilac bikini, small white gloves. Alyssa in solid red bottoms, triangle-striped top in browns and rust colours; small black gloves.

During R1: Ledoyen pivoting to her left behind a prodding face-jab, right hand at chest: Milano parrying, turning-with, bending at the waist to negotiate her distance with head movement. Milano the aggressor early - hurling hard overhand rights - missing as Ledoyen jumps away, 'Lyss bouncing on her left foot to regroup. Midway through, Ledoyen punches-with, beating Milano to a sweeping right hand to chin: Alyssa's right sails, knees corkscrew and SHE'S DOWN! Bingo knockdown has Ledoyen stomping all frowns and business-like buttocks to neutral corner: Milano bulging-eyed, shaking her head on all fours, gets up wonky. Virginie over to offence, striding in, bending forward into long, swinging overhand rights: Milano leaning away, turning her head to the right as she stumbles back to ropes. Virginie all over Alyssa - Ledoyen snarling as she licks lefts and rights taut to tummy and jug, cramping Milano up with body-spank. Chopping right hands find and dent Milano's chin as 'Ginnie leans in close, then leans out as she's prodding Alyssa the left hand for balance. Slender limbed beatdown goes on and on - poor Milano all shabby and forlorn, covering up best she can: she takes a weepy knee in the dying moments as her legs are about to give way anyway. Virginie stoops, plants a bruising kiss on Alyssa's tear-stained cheek to fulfill prefight promise before stomping away.

R2: Ledoyen strong on Alyssa: Milano clearly frazzled, staring, unsound on her feet. Alyssa faces into one right cross...eats another - Ledoyen pitching from distance, able to lean in and collect as Alyssa's reactions have slowed considerably. Milano pony-trots to her right, trying to rally: Ledoyen in supple crouch, scooting forward, weaving her torso on the approach. Ropes: Milano blinking, lips parted - pushing her right hand out from her shoulder in drowsy little pulses. Ledoyen weight on right foot, just leaning away and under this stuff, times it, dips in close with a chopping right to chin and MILANO GOES OUT! Sickening small-girl whack: Milano takes to chin, relaxes upright against ropes, right hand at her chest, left at her tummy like a sleepy kitten, head lolling - then she topples forward as Ledoyen's preparing a hook. Alyssa out cold at Virginie's feet - KO2 in thunderclap fashion, Virginie Ledoyen.

After: The "Rollercoaster Kid" keeps it going. Virginie comes off a stunning KO1 whack loss to Gellar, paying it forward to Milano with the harshest, cleanest punching of the French girl's career, set up by loping, rangy footwork. Alyssa normally very durable, but clipped repeatedly on her chin tonight - she's down an uncomfortably long time, brought around in stages. Ledoyen mobbed by Casta and feted by French-language media in postfight - sensational outing for li'l French minx has her looking fierce again. Megan Fox had been counting on gobbling Ledoyen up as a tasty appetizer: Ledoyen reminding everyone she can be one tough chew on the right night.