Posted by Simguy on 11/11/2005, 7:20 am.

Before: Special guest commentator Katie Holmes sizes up the combatants--she's a surprise proponent of Ms Trachtenberg coming in. "There's been a lot of misguided criticism of the FCBA for sanctioning this bout," Holmes tells viewers. "Greenpeace-types feel Michelle's too willowy, that she hasn't filled out enough to take real-money poundings, but I heard a lot of the same naysaying when I was coming up. Bottom line, oif Michelle wants this, who are we to stand in her way? It's ahard road, no question, but if Michelle can withstand the early setbacks, I know from personal experience that she can compete up here. Scarlett's a good case in point. Early in my career, I took a horrible beating to my body from Johansson and was mocked for months afterward, but you know what? I view that as one of the critical turning points in my career and today--I'd shut Scarlett out if we were to ever box again. Michelle's got to given the same chance to grow." Trachtenberg in pink bikini, pink UGG boxing boots, long low ponytail. Scarlett in black push up, red bikini bottoms, Marilyn Montroe curls, black aerobics shoes with white socks.

During R1: Johansson scutting forward crab-style, intent on closing, fighting off Trachtenberg's chest: Mihcelle won't have it early. Loping near the ropes, Michelle gets off with hectic criss-cross scrubbing action, bumpijg mitts back and forth against Johansson's face. not a lot of damage, but Scarlett facing into punishment can't get traction--takes her a minute to properly hound Michelle to ropes. Second minute: Scarlett palm-shoving Michelle's shoulders, bodying her to ropes--blonde able to scrounge on the inside, bang away to chest, robs. Michelle overwhelmed, baring her teeth--long arms tieing up around Johansson's elbows, bogging energetic little blonde down--Scarlett forcing herself on Michelle but unable to heap on decisive hurt in the first.

R2: Similar stuff--Trachtenberg problematizing the fight early with rangy scrubbing actioon, buffetting away left/right on Johansson's face. Scarlett crouching forward, arms crossed, attempting to bob and weave her way in, but it's trickier than it looks. Takes a minute, then Johansson's having her way--shoving and slugging gamine Michelle ragdoll at the ropes, but Trachtenberg not just lying down, Michelle pulling back of Scarlett's head forward, tieing up behind the elbows--beating could be much worse were it not for these heady defensive tactics.

R3: Again, Michelle's rubbing, scrubbing lefts and rights delay Scarlett, buffetting and pre-empting her, but eventually, blonde imposes her will. Punches adding up in the Trachtenberg ribcage and flat midriff--Johansson lowering her head, clubbing mindlessly--Michelle's resistance finally starting to weaken as Johansson hammers her way through the clinches. Trachtenberg getting bosses--she's waving back punches, or covering up face-in gloves, shivering as Johansson's fists have their wanton way with hips, back, chest, tummy, ribs. Chin is there for the uppercut, but Scarlett patient, just staying on the body, breaking her slender foe down brick by brick. round finishes up with Scarlett operating out of the wrap--her left arm riding Michelle's upperback, slumping Trachtenberg forward for hoisting right hands pitched sidearm to tender Trachtenberg tummy. Michelle paralyzed, face stricken--she's all doubled over helpless, Scarlett's right hand making a thick CHUP! CHUP! CHUP! noise as it crams home. Tell-tale wobble in Trachtenberg's trunks as she mopes back to her corner: she's hurting, ashen-faced, starting to realize what she's gotten herself into.

R4: Scarlett tracking Michelle and shoulder-bumping her ruthlessly into a slumping heap of ingenue--Johansson now having her ham-handed way. Been a long time since Scarlett could twist her hips and just pitch-in on a girl--Johansson leaning in close off Michelle's right shoulder, sidearming in thick right hands over and over to tortured midsection as poor Trachtenberg starts making sick little GUGHH...GUGHH...noises in her throat. Michelle numb, drooping forward as Scarlett works out of a heartless wrap to plug home rights to breadbasket--Trachtenberg finally wilts to all fours sobbing, left arm craddling ransacked middle. Johansson slightly peeved in the neutral corner when Michelle proves plucky: Trachtenberg snivelling, blinking back "how-could-you" tears as she stands, beats the count swaying. Scarlett stomps on in: straight back: stamping straight punches into Michelle's mouth and chest. Poor Trachtenberg battered senseless, head whipsawing back and forth,  mouthpiece bumping off her teeth as she blubs "STOP! STOP!" Johansson keeps punching until ref tugs her clear: TKO4 Scarlett Johansson.

After: Trachtenberg panicked into defeat: she's still learning what the limits of her body are--probably coulod have gone on several more rounds in a pure;ly physical sense. Katie likes what she sees: "Michelle's got heart--I like the way she got off the canvas--she's scrappy! She punked a little tonight, but it's understandable--she wasn't defending herself and Scarlett was really piling on--I'm sure the ref was just about to stop it anyway. Michelle's in a position now where girls like Mish Williams might come calling and I think Trachtenberg has to buck up and take those fights. She's the bottom of the barrel right now--but that means she might get a lot of calls from opportunistic bullies like Mish: every one of those fights can be a valuable learning experience," Good beatdown win for Johansson--nice little confidence boost for her after several tough outings of the kind Katie's prescribing for Trachtenberg.

Reposted by Archer 5/31/10.