BOXING ON THE BEACH

Posted by Simguy on 10/11/2001, 6:42 pm.

(Robia not as obscure as she sounds - she was the brunette 'girl from NY' on 90120, and played Miss Calendar on Buffy Vamp Slayer - also seen in many Prince videos as one of his dancers.)

Before: Electra back to square one, looking for a confidence builder. Picks an old sparring partner from her Prince dance-club days, with eyes on Courtney Thorne Smith as a possible route back to prominence. Robia no slouch, technically very proficient but not known for power - Electra doesn't have to worry about paying dearly for any mistakes. Having seen a little of Robia before, Carmen comes in comfortable if not as cocky as might be expected. Robia in two-tone pink and black bandeau bikini, Carmen with blondified hair, purple beach volleyball style bikini - fought outdoors, southern Cali beach - non-televised.

During R1: Electra out with one,two quick-strike uppercuts between the breasts, has Robia going backwards when the go-home left hook crashes home - Robia on her back and stunned seconds in as Electra grins, lolls in the ropes playing to the fans while Lamorta take a groggy 8. Carmen at play the rest of the way, hands at her stomach, jumping in punches from waaay outside, standing fearlessly in front to clock Robia on the way out. Lamorta badly hurt, but gutsy, gathering herself to at least run and hold to get out of the round. Shutout Electra.

R2: Lamorta shakes it off, gives Carmen a fight this round. Robia very classy, hands at her chest, turning southpaw with a little Ricardo Williams look. Lamorta fades back as Electra tries to lunge in, countering Carmen with the sharp right hook above the hip and a straight left hand down the pike. Electra running into crisp, if not devastating blows, doesn't have near as much luck as Lamorta's clever dip, dodge and block defense takes the edge off.

R3: Robia working in and out - dancer's legs every bit the equal of Carmen's. Counter right hand to the body is a feature - it's catching Electra with spanking force and setting the tone for the exchanges. Squared up, Robia will turn her shoulders, lift her gloves, bend at the waist to either block or slip, then she comes right back at Electra with much cleaner touches in bursts. Lamorta especially effective with tit-clipping lefts and rights - tight little punches, all shoulder and hips as she leaves Electra outraged at the bell.

R4: Electra's not getting shutout, but she's frustrated at the lack of real contact on her punches. Lamorta not running, but her subtle upperbody movement, good reflexes and southpaw stance are giving Electra problems. Exchanges are going Robia's way - Carmen taking everything well, but breasts, body and face are suffering through 4.

R5,6: Robia fighting a terrific little fight. The fade takes away Carmen's lunging uppercuts. Southpaw angles and slickness blunt Carmen's efforts to bang. And counterpunches in brisk bunches, swabbing up the waist and jugs especially have Electra gnashing her teeth. Robia finishes up the sixth with tasty licks up Carmen's torso, finishing up across her mouth - doe-eyed dancer sidesteps and grins as Electra is left swooning on the spot.

R7: Electra changing tactics, bodying up to wrestle her girl to the ropes and initiate cheek to cheek trade. Robia not as cute, not as effective as the bigger puncher dancer punishes the ribcage, comes up underneath Robia's left arm with the right uppercut to put wobble in Lamorta's trunks. Robia sliding along the ropes, has some moments late, slipping and countering with hard straight left hands on the face as Electra gets sloppy at the bell.

R8: Carmen turning it up a notch, forces Robia to the ropes again and starts to bludgeon in earnest. Robia purely defensive now, still not getting caught flush, but she's not coming back with anything under Electra's savage beat. Lamorta using the ropes well, rolling with punches, dipping down low to nudge Carmen in the stomach with her right shoulder - all just good enough to avoid getting hurt as Electra punches herself weary for a shutout.

R9: The crisp counter punching Robia is back - Electra open mouthed and falling off the pace starts to get picked up as Robia walks her girl into damage. Oh, that biting right hook just underneath the elbow - Electra's flinching with it now, unable to answer immediately. The sudden, compact tit-clipping combinations - zesty little lefts and rights as Robia rolls her shoulders, bringing the weep out of Carmen. Electra desperate and wide with her shots this round - makes Lamorta's slick upperbody D look all the sweeter.

R10: Robia fading back, digging into Carmen's left side with that vicious hook, stepping to the right, drilling the straight left hand - pinpoint combinations finally put wobble in Electra's sensational behind - she's starting to stumble forward, eyes glazed as Robia patiently picks her up. Right hook on the body, right hook on the jaw, step back and drop that straight left hand. Electra badly polished up as she can't close the punching gap - Robia all smiles at the bell as a dishelved Carmen Electra wanders in a daze. Comes back UD10 Robia Lamorta.

After: Electra hits rock bottom - beaten handily by a pretty no-name who might just get a look after this win. "Thorne's interested in the bout," says one media stooge, "Robia fits right in with a lot of girls - maybe not huge fights, but she's probably more competitive than most people realize." Lost in the speculation about the damage Theron and Bell might have done to each other in past brawls, is the fact that Dani Fishel might have ruined Carmen Electra. "Hey, it's hard to deny," says a grisled scribe, "Harmin' Carmen hasn't been the same since Dani worked her over."