(Result by Simguy/Written by Simgrrl)

Before: After witnessing girlfriend Mary Elizabeth Winstead's stunning near-upset of Theron, beautiful blonde Laura is convinced, "I can do better." And maybe she's right. After all, unlike Winstead, Laura's a BLONDE! - so she'll have the higher circulation magazine backing her! Laura's not as tall as MEW (5'7" to 5'8") and both fall short of Theron's 5'9.5" but compared to Winstead, Laura's a totally different style of fighter. Vandervoort fights in the Theron style; a boxer-puncher attack. There are 'experts' who think that kind of attack is well-suited to beating Theron. Sadly for Laura, there are far more 'experts' who think that while the style (obviously) works for Charlize, it's not necessarily the kind that does best beating her! Many women have fought Theron - and more than a few have beaten her - somewhere around 38%, which means something like 62% of them didn't! Everyone likes to point to 'grinders' like Ashley Judd, Jen Lopez, Peta Wilson and more recently, Jennifer Garner, as the kind body attacking fighters who seem to give Theron the most trouble. Still, Laura is breezy, upbeat, and positive in her approach at her press conferences. "I've been a Theron fan for a while now; I want to be just like her both in the ring and on the screen. She's a blonde icon. I studied Winnie's film; talked to her at length and we even sparred a bit, her showing me what Theron did, how she countered it and how she went about attacking Charlize's weaknesses." Adding with a smile, "Oh yeah, even the great Charlize Theron has weaknesses to be exploited."
Charlize at their joint presser - hearing this for about the umpteenth time in her career - nodding silently her agreement. When it's her turn, 'The Golden Goddess' comes gets to the point. "I've got weaknesses, God knows. I can't quit smoking; can't keep a relationship; I enjoy food and wine way too much; oh yeah, and I pretty much hate training. But those are all things I can do something about...if or when I want to. Same with any perceived 'weaknesses' in the ring. People talk about them at length, write articles in magazines, there's even a book. Wouldn't surprise me if someone right now is circulating a screenplay based on them. Probably win some young blonde an Oscar if they do a film, maybe it could be Laura.
"Thing is, honey," Theron concludes, turning to Vandervoort - who seems surprised Charlize knows her name. "I can do something about those too. Change the way I hold my hands; switch from right to left handed stance; circle opposite the way you expect. I can do plenty of things to upset your plan...or...I could just put you on that cute little butt and not worry about the other stuff. Yeah, that sounds a lot easier. Oh, and don't worry...I'm not bringing the saddle to this fight. Maybe something a little different in store for you."

Theron still in a surly mood after last night's bout between her lover Cat Bell and Vandervoort's trainer, Virginia Madsen. "A charade..." was all Charlize snarled as she brusquely bulled her way past the media behind a phalanx of beefy security types as she was entering the arena. Theron in a creamy bikini; blond hair in perky ponytail (fashionista's take note: since her 'unretirement' Theron's "costumes" are smaller, her body bigger and softer). Tonight however, while she's no doubt the 'big woman' in this ring, there's no sign of any 'softness' or 'fat' on her body. She's obviously worked hard to return to 'shape' and it's showing. Vandervoort: black bikini (little bottom; big top - a silent challenge to the woman some maliciously describe as, 'breastually impaired'? If so, OUCH! Blood red leather on both women's clenched fists!

During R1: Right from the bell, Vandervoort getting frisky; popping the left jab down into Theron's body as she relentlessly circles to her left. Laura bouncing saucy; just flicking at Charlize's eyes, nose, lips; then diving down into her cleavage. Theron hanging back, wincing with the impact of every solid stab into her 'goodies' as Vandervoort looks to establish her 'cred' as a bra busting blonde beauty. Charlize soaking it up; answering back with a tight, short, piercing jab of her own; holding her right in check as sweet blonde Laura dances, skips and prances to a small lead after one, fairly benign, round.

R2: More of the same! Laura enjoying the feel of her fist mashing Charlize's bra flat; grinning as she skips left, sticks her fist in and then rotates more. Second minute, Theron establishing her own jab, snapping Vandy's head with abrupt power; doing her own version of the 'one-two' putting a hesitation in Laura's two step. Third minute, Charlize starting to punish the smaller blonde; sharp, stabbing, jab setting up the right hand; sitting down on her punches; palming up after landing and shoving the slighter woman back; keeping Laura constantly off balance, reacting rather than initiating.

R3: Here we go! Theron out firing on all cylinders: buffeting sweet little Laura's body; rocking her world; pretty much just beating Vandervoort from the proverbial pillar to the well-known post. Theron eschewing any fancy stuff, just putting on a stunning display of 'Back-to-Basics' boxing ('Boxing 101' for those of you with a higher education!) The first two minutes of the round sees Laura getting pounded out on the extension of Theron's long rangy licks from outside Laura's ability to answer. BLONDE GIRL DOWN!! A desperation lunge by Vandervoort late lands a pawing jab - only to be caught by a sweet, classic 'pull counter' by Theron as she eases back, drops her right and then pulls it up to chop out and down on Vandervoort's exposed chin. Often described as "the prettiest move in boxing" because the executioner knocks down her opponent while moving backward! Laura spilled facefirst, upper body supported by the bottom rope, gloves idly pushing outside on the ring apron as her brain tries to figure out how to get her head back inside the ring. Dragging herself up the ropes, Laura wobbly, then steadying to the point the referee allows it to continue. Long thirty seconds left - all of it spent with Charlize coldly digging hard to the body; bringing uppercuts up inside Laura's ragged hands. Closing seconds, big overhand right DROPS LAURA to her hands and knees. Vandy spits out her mouthpiece, spends the final seconds crawling around looking for it.
It's a 10-7 round for Theron and while Vandervoort is saved by the bell; she has to be gathered up and supported back to her stool where Madsen and Garner work feverishly to get her ready for the next round.
"Get in her bra!" Madsen advises, gesturing how she wants her punching. "Her body!" Garner adds. "Gut the c*nt!"

R4: Early all Theron. Charlize knows Vandervoort is hurt, ready to go, but she's showboating ala Sugar Ray Leonard, carrying her hands low; whipping clouting blows up off her thighs to Vandervoort's ruddy face. LAURA'S ROCKED! Another 'pull counter' almost drops Vandervoort midway into the round, but she hangs on the ropes, then clinches. Charlize content to simply work Vandervoort's body, welting her up and down. There's no doubt at ringside - where calls from blonde loving fans to "stop it" and save Laura's lovely countenance are loud and clear - that Charlize is intent on scuffing up Laura's beautiful blond features. It's mean-spirited and cruel, but nobody who ever said boxing was the 'sweet science' said it because the fighters were 'sweet'...plus Theron's carrying an extra helping of venom tonight and Laura's just the poor unfortunate girl who gets to pay the price for it.

R5: Vandervoort rallies! Early, a wide, looping, right hand catches Charlize showboating with her hands at her waist. The solidly delivered punch stuns the big blonde and Laura, able to follow Theron to ropes, gets some of hers back as she gives the bigger older blonde a clapping beatdown. Vandervoort at her best; willowy, bendy, body, twisting her hips into some limber left hooks and right crosses; coming up inside to scuff up Charlize's little cups and once - almost - blowing her left breast right up out of it's shell to the point that Theron modestly adjusts herself! Theron just being big with her back no the ropes; earmuffing, face-in-her-gloves; soaking up a beating; letting her body take the brunt of the abuse without any visible effect. Bell: Charlize stalking angrily back to her corner, getting a deserved 'talking to' from Stone while Bell watches stoically; knowing better than to say anything while Charlize is doing such a fine job of firing herself up.

 PT 2 (too much blonde for one post)

Posted by for simguy on 9/11/2010, 5:11 pm, in reply to "PPV: Charlize Theron vs. Laura Vandervoort"