Charlize Theron vs. Jennifer Garner (X) by simguy 5-12-07

"I love this match up," special commentator Cat Bell says at ringside. “It's really a showcase for everything the lightweight division can aspire to. Two accomplished actresses; world-class beauties who are world-class fighters with wildly contrasting styles always makes for an interesting collision. Things aren't as personal between them as with Charlize and many of her other rivals - we’ll really get to see boxing front-and-center, you know? What makes this so riveting is each fight between them IS important. When historians look back at this era to try and figure out who the best boxer of the generation was - this rivalry is one of the matched-pairs that’s going to get a lot of scrutiny. Who do I like? I've backed each of them in previous fights, depending on how they've looked coming in, how their training camp has gone, etc. I have to say - this time - I think Charlize is the horse to bet on. I LOVE what she was able to do to Casta inside. Theron's setting down and getting into bodies like never before and that's CRITICAL to manage Garner in the ring. Charlie doesn't want to overdo it - if they fight inside all night long, Garner's going to win - but if Theron can just handle herself inside, push Jen back outside - then Charlize can extend on right hands and hurt Jennifer all night long. I'm pumped - I can't wait to see which of these girls brings her best tonight!"

Jennifer in bright baby blue bikini (bra style top), white gloves, hair tied back off her face. Charlize in green bikini, yellow gloves.

Round 1: Jen: dukes cheek high, menacing crouch as she bobs and weaves forward spitting stubby jabs, looking to work her way in, digging hooks to Charlize' waist early. Theron: elbows in, dukes up, crouching to receive Garner guard-on-guard, absorbing body blows, then answering dip-‘n'-crank hooks, thumping away on stout Garner ribcage - keeping that right in tight, blocking Jen's hooks. Tanning two-way underneath very robust - but Charlize slowly able to get control, answering stoutly, then palm-pushing Jen back with both hands on shoulders. Hardworking rhythm as Garner is forced to regain position over and over again - Charlize dropping one-twos, charging rent for every inch of real estate.

Round 2: Same battle lines drawn - no surprises. Garner's execution prevails, as does her will, in another close, hardfought, heat. Jen able to jab her way inside, then set up on Charlize' chest - working Theron back to ropes. CT hitting tight-swiping hooks up top; lifting heavy left uppercuts to Garner's ribcage as she’s stepping back. On theh ropes however, Garner's able to exert extra pressure, getting off snappy - bobbing to avoid counters - ripping and snapping at the Theron bosom, bashing bell and ripping into ribs! Jennifer very strong on CT here - laying her face on Theron's chest, reaching in to grab CT's biceps, wrestling her guard out of the way and DIGGING the torso beneath. Theron landing some heavy blows - and doing a great job of blocking - but getting outworked, welted up through two tough stanzas.

Round 3: Charlize on her toes, legs wide, pulsing out a vicious jab early that Jen can't penetrate. Garner thoughtful - stepping out, hopping to her right, regrouping: Theron hopping to HER right, keeping that firm stick on Garner, doubling it - Jennifer fully occupied defending Charlize' authoritative poke. CT mixing in right hands - sharp, long, one-twos. Garner ducking, weaving abruptly, backpedaling with dukes up to parry this stuff. Minute mark - Charlize stalking Garner, walking her down. Blonde jabs brunette head; stoops, jabs tummy; feints the jab back to Jen's head and BRINGS THE RIGHT CROSS! Garner biting on the feint, doesn't see the right - CRASHING blast to chin catches Garner facing into the full force of the blast. Jennifer frozen out over her feet a moment before CRASHING FACE FIRST INTO THE CANVAS! Charlize jogging to neutral corner - but she may as well start celebrating - KO3 in shocking fashion as Jennifer lies out cold on her face for 10!

After: Crowd in hysterics - KO3 Theron not on anyone's radar for this one but CT catches her rival with the hardest right hand Theron's ever thrown in competition. AND CT WANTS MORE! Theron patiently de-gloving, chatting with Janet Jones as liveried KruZher attendants gather Jen up, gently bring her around, then stand her up while Victoria’s Secret models strap the stunned and confused Garner into that odious Victoria Secret Body Saddle. Jennifer all glassy eyed, bleating in outrage as the final cinch of the belly strap brings it all home - Charlize is going to ride Jennifer Garner and that's all there is to it! Theron glowing, majestic in victory - helped into position on Garner's back by Jessica Simpson and Jewel Kilcher - CT's crouching on her mounts with knees pressed jockey-style onto the leather pads above Jen's hips, tucking her bare feet up under her as she secures a grip on Jen's shoulders. Jen leaning into the padded shoulder straps, grimacing under the weight - strong, stout legs shuddering as Garner is coaxed forward by her insistent rider. Theron urging speed with her knees, a clucking tongue and a crisp WHAP of a leather crop she’s handed by a leering Sharon Stone. Garner grimly breaking into a staggering canter, trotting around the perimeter of the ring as boos/cheers and crop SMACKs rain down on her.

Cat Bell disgusted - throws her headset down and shouts "Why?" at the ring as CT comes bouncing past. Several circuits of the ring quickly  wear out Garner's thick thighs and she staggers, then stumbles and drops to her knees; ridden to panting exhaustion by her tormentress.

"It's been a long time coming," Theron explains to BLONDE! Magazine reporters as she’s toweling her brow in the immediate aftermath even as Garner is still being unsaddled. "I've wanted to separate myself from Garner for a while now, but I've never had just the right moment to leave my mark on her. Tonight was perfect - the perfect punch; a flawless victory. She was vulnerable, broken, and helpless and I had to take advantage of the situation. It had to be, and I think Jennifer knows that. One of us had to put her foot down on the other. Had to!"