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15 Nov 2008 Halle Berry vs Kaley Cuoco

Page history last edited by Archer844 6 years, 1 month ago

Halle Berry 03.jpgKaley Cuoco 04.jpg

 

 

Posted by simguy on 11/15/2008

 

Before: "It's no secret that Halle's been a huge influence on my career," Kaley gushes in prefight. "The success I'm having now, comes from what I learned from the BSE veterans. Halle's legs; Charisma's hands; Jenny's heart: I'd like to think that I'm continuing on in their footsteps. This is a thrill for me - yes it's a competition and Halle's a dangerous fighter - but the chance to fight her for real is kind of a dream come true." Berry equally complimentary at the podium. "Kaley was our prodigy at BSE," Halle relates. "Even Natalie came to us a relatively finished product, but Cuoco was raw...and scary-talented. I remember her first work outs with us - and I'd look at O'Dell, and Jenny would kind of whistle softly - I mean, Kaley's a once-in-a-generation fighter in terms of her physical tools. Now, all that said - I may have taught her all she knows...but I didn't teach her all I KNOW! There's one or two things I've been saving, just in case we ever had a showdown like this." Kaley in black bikini, frisky ponytail with bangs; white gloves. Halle in yellow bikini with ring connections hip and jug; white gloves.

 

During R1: Similar hand positions: left hands low, rights under chins. Kaley's on her toes, feinting Halle: Berry more flat footed, bending low at the waist, looking to use upperbody more than her legs. Cuoco circling left, showing the up-jab off her hip, darting in with quick one-twos. Berry fading smoothly, picking off shots on her gloves, quickly counter-pouncing and looking to swat snappy combos left/right. Kaley directing an unusually high proportion of her stitching one-twos to Halle's chest - chop-chopping jug, then bounding out of range. At one point, Berry clearly enraged, shouts: "What the hell, Kaley? Back off my rack!" Late the round, Halle catches Kaley backing out with a pouncing lead right and follow up hook: Cuoco rocked - staggering back on her heels. Blonde hits ropes, covers up just in time as Halle hops-to, unleashes a whirling torrent of lefts and rights to neatly steal what had been a Cuoco round. Unexpected hard feelings at the bell: Berry chesting up on Kaley and glaring at her - ref forced to take a hand.

 

R2: Kaley on her toes, circling, feinting, testing her mentor's legs. Cuoco swatting a supple hook off her hip, showing the up-jab - again targeting Halle's jugs a high percentage of the time. Cuoco's flashing right hand scoring strikes to rack as well - smiting home sudden as Kaley proves able to score from well outside. Cuoco pivoting to her left after pouncing-in: she's by far the springier as Halle's basically a flat-footed, prowling fighter now. Berry relying on timing, hoping to catch Kaley with heavy counters - Halle leaning weight onto right (back) foot, rolling-with Kaley's punches, then answering sneaky right hands. Midway through, Kaley feints, then jumps in the lead right, catching Halle to jaw: blonde able to reload, jam an extra right hand in to send brunette reeling to ropes. Kaley hopping-to, unleashing slashing lefts and rights from her waist, whacking the stuffing out of Halle's bulging rack. Berry crying out as her former student helps herself big time. Halle badly rattled - clinches out the round - Kaley showing good leg strength in keeping Berry's back to ropes. More hard words as Kaley turns away without explanation, leaving Berry smoldering/aching.

 

R3: Kaley bouncing on her lead (left) foot, left hand dangling: she'll swat hooks from here, or drop in right hands - punching Halle's face or chest, then pivoting hard-left. Berry scuffing up, breasts throbbing: Kaley's determined rack assault clearly rattling the world's sexiest woman. Halle turning to stay square, left across her gut, right under her chin - she's lifting her left elbow up to ward off punches, keeping weight on her back leg, ready to spring at Kaley if the timing's there. Kaley just too agile - nimble attacks scoring, abrupt withdrawals leaving Halle scowling in frustration. Blonde punctuates the round with a pair of swatting hooks across Halle's jugs as Cuoco's executing a pretty pivot-left. Berry grimacing, visibly outraged: Kaley again turning away, marching quickly back to her corner.

 

R4: Kaley's quickness can't be denied - she's penetrating, scoring, disengaging before Halle can muster much in reprisal. Kaley's first step so quick, she's able to pounce-in lead right hands to chin before Halle can start her torso-roll; blonde cleans up hooks from there, pivoting left as her left hand cuffs jug and face. Berry jabbing to Kaley's midsection, trying to set up snappy hooks from there: Cuoco bounding out of range, circling to regroup, frustrating Halle's attacks. Even when Kaley's walking to her right, dangling her left hand - she'll flip the left off her hip, nagging Halle's breasts, pestering 'em. Down the stretch - Kaley exaggerates her first step, spooking Halle into a crouch, then blonde brings the hesitation straight right, poking Berry bingo on the chin. Halle punched out of her stance - arms pinwheeling as she backpedals into ropes. Shocking jolt has Berry weak-kneed at bell as Kaley coolly looks her foe over.

 

R5,6: Exhibition rounds for Kaley: rounds of cold hard truth for Halle. Berry trying to come forward now, recognizing she's falling off the pace - but she can't hope to cut the ring off on springy Cuoco. Kaley with initiative, curving in on off feints, leading right hands or hooks. Berry rolling shots, covering up - she's reading/reacting fairly well, but still getting caught looking on occasion. Kaley's constant cuffing and smiting of Halle's jugs continues to vex Berry: Cuoco just swiping away one or two shots at a time, or jabbing 'em on her walkabouts. Both rounds wide to Cuoco - she's bedeviling Halle from outside, embarrassing her through 6.

 

R7: Cuoco goes flat footed, edges in close to clean up on a worn down, busted up Halle Berry. Halle not reading the same script - she's very comfy inside, rubbing her left shoulder against Kaley's chest and tearing up blonde midsection and breasts with still-blazing combinations. Real pleasure to see Halle let her hands go - nice, snappy rhythms - especially that stinging double-left hook she can get body/head. Kaley outpunched - but eerily similar to Halle in style here: snappy delivery; double hooks off the right foot; sneaky, supple right hands while bending in and down. Bell: Halle seething, forcing eye contact: Cuoco getting a taste of her own bitter medicine to jug this round.

 

R8: Same again - Kaley wanting Halle inside: Berry starts to fall off the pace. Cuoco leaning in on Halle, flurrying Berry to gut, then clipping chin the right uppercut. Kaley bumping the left shoulder, leaning in on left (front) foot to hook Halle's waist; leaning onto back (right) foot to hook Halle across mouth. Berry pawing her jab to edge her way inside, but eating hard uppercuts and hooks when she gets there: Kaley starting to light it up, gloves bouncing with popping spank off Halle's flesh. Late the round - Halle's legs go, spilling her awkwardly to ropes. Kaley pounces in, unleashing a torrid scrubbing of lefts and rights to jug, mercilessly scouring a sobbing Berry as crowd roars to its feet. Halle rubbery legged, hugging her battered chest at bell: Kaley whirls away, stomping hard-eyed to her corner.

 

R9: Halle's shabby: Oscar winning thighs trembling under her weight; face puffy from punches; breasts slugged raw by a heartless Kaley Cuoco tonight. Kaley doubling up the jab while pivoting-left; hooking ear from there, pivoting-left; feinting; bringing the hesitation right hand. Berry turning, facing into blows - she's a battered beauty now, trudging forward on pride alone. Pair of cuffing hooks/chopping straight right dislodges Halle's mouthpiece - it flops off her gums onto the canvas as Berry's tottering back on her heels. Kaley feints, brings the sudden right hand to Halle's jugs - pivots-left as Berry's cringing. Kaley feints, repeats the move, smiting breasts that sneaky right hand lead, pivoting away from receipt. Kaley feints once, starts a fake hook, brings the shocking straight instead, but places it blunt to mouth, taking Halle completely by surprise. Jolting blast sends Halle clattering backwards, jugs a-jumpin' - she's a pathetic sight tripping over her own feet, thumping to her buns at ropes. Halle tragically beaten - arms reaching up and back into the ropes, but her legs are numb, stretched out on the canvas before her. Berry can't get off her rump - KO9 Kaley Cuoco in unexpectedly tart fashion.

 

After: Cuoco quickly ushered from the ring as Halle is tenderly brought around, leaving onlookers perplexed. In days to come, Cuoco reveals that HBO came to her with a jug-bounty offer too rich for Kaley to pass up. Body-part bounties controversial, but a fact of life in the FCBA - Kaley explains in BLONDE! Magazine: "I couldn't say no. Halle's an idol of mine, but you wouldn't believe the money HBO was willing to front for sustained jug-mugging in that fight. If Halle's going to continue on, she needs to know that every girl out there is going to be gunning for those breasts of hers. You seriously can't afford not to! It's not something I'm proud of, but Halle herself always told me "get paid" - you know? I rang her up and got paid, and hopefully that's something she can respect if not forgive."

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