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15 September 2009 Teri Hatcher vs Kelly Ripa

Page history last edited by Archer844 14 years, 6 months ago

Cougar Beach

 

Posted by simguy on 9/15/2009, 6:40 pm


BEFORE: Hatcher taking part in a triathalon whips her bony physique into shape; Ripa firming up, replacing anexoria with a six pack: both are anxious to show what the bodies can do in the ring. "I just want to bounce back after Cruz," Ripa says on her show, referring to a humiliating early exit against Penelope C. "I'm better than that, and I KNOW I'm better than Teri. She can do all the triathalons she wants - they aren't going to translate into fighting ability." Hatcher excited about her return: most pundits had written her off long ago. "I'm fitter than I've ever been," Teri chirps in prefight. "I know I can go 10 hard rounds, and I know I can set a pace Kelly can't match. She's going to get busted up and outclassed: you're going to see me dial back the clock big time in this one!" K-Rip in teal bikini top, brown bottoms; small black gloves; shoulder length blonde locks loose. Teri in white sports bra over sturdy black push up bra; black bikini bottoms (sporty, triathalon bottoms); small black gloves. Cougar Beach Malibu venue - horseshoe shaped stands around standard ring - high noon fighttime.

During R1,2,3: Brisk, crisp two-way boxing - Kelly the aggressor. Ripa a little quicker overall - darting in and out: she'll fetch Teri stiff-arm jabs head and body; bat rights and lefts off flat Hatcher waistline; feint and come in with sneaky lead rights. Teri upright, weight on back (right) leg: she's set to lean in on power right hands, but rarely getting into position to deliver - relying mostly on a pokey, defensive jab to keep Kelly from being too greedy. Flurry to Teri's jugs midway through the second puts Hatcher on her heels: Ripa grinning, licking her lips as she disengages, sending a brazen message early. All three rounds to Kelly: Teri's unhurt, but getting steadily outperformed in all categories.

R4: Hatcher ups tempo. Job 1: get the stiff stick on Kelly; pre-empt her; keep her outside. Job 2: test Kelly's rigid little tummy - Teri dipping the left shoulder, cranking rising left hooks to blonde torso off the left (front) leg. Job 3: deploy the right hand. Teri not landing the right, but the slinging elasticity of it spooks Kelly into scampering retreats. Nice rangy delivery from Teri - slinging the right hand out, bringing it back elbow-high, then twisting to curl across her hook. Hatcher the boss bell to bell, touching Kelly up, walking her down as Ripa scoots side to side, trying to regroup.

R5: Same stuff from Teri - steppin' in that jab, cutting off the ring with wide, lanky steps; hooking Kelly in her breadbasket TART. Teri getting a nice whippy rip on her left hands - really dipping and gouging rising hooks into Kelly as Ripa's leaning forward behind mitts. Small mitts sounding out PIK! PAK! as Teri chews up blonde gut - Ripa in full backpedal, eyes shiny with hurt. Down the stretch, Teri dippin'-n'-rippin' that cranking left up underneath: Kelly all cramped up, helpless to prevent a slinging right to her jaw. BLONDE GIRL DOWN! Kelly punched to her knees as Teri bends in and down righty: big smile Hatcher as Ripa's a trembling wreck at the bell.

R6: Kelly back strong - stiff-arm jabbing her way inside and engaging Teri toe to toe. Good strategy: Ripa's mitts're quicker - she's tic-tac-toeing her way up and down Teri's lean torso, touching Hatcher up, then sidestepping. Teri's tummy all torn up, but hanging in there: Hatcher looking to compete with left uppercuts inside, trying to answer after Ripa snaps off 3 punch combos. Kel with some gorgeous accumulation to Teri's slender waist: brunette wincing, mouthbreathing by the bell.

R7: Kelly doubling up the jab, scooting inside - she's tidying up tummy and tits as Hatcher can't match handspeed. Ripa in charge, bumping and elbowing Teri to reset, then snatching away swift lefts and rights in chopping concert. Little shifts clockwise by Ripa turning Teri on the spot, messing with her footwork: Hatcher's a confused beauty, trying to get even with one lanky stroke. Midway through, swiping left/right strokes Teri's jaw, stunning her: Hatcher wobbly butt, but managing to slug left uppercuts/left hooks off her right (back) leg, denying Kelly's finishing run. Ripa hungry, but catching just enough leather that she can't press her advantage on woozy T.

R8: OH Teri clips Kelly! Searing right hand catches Ripa outside: she's steppin' in fence post holes, suddenly demoralized. Teri sloppy, overanxious on follow up - missing wide, curling blows as Ripa desperately reels around. Minute mark, Hatcher slugs herself inside, playing to Kelly's strength as girls trade uppercuts/hooks in tight. Teri lanky as she bobs and twists into shots; Ripa more abrupt, chopping away with elbows-in delivery. Down the stretch, Teri spreads Kelly out the jab, gets back on top with smart-steppin' poke forcing aggressive blonde back outside. Kelly missed an opportunity to finish the seventh; Teri returns favour in the 8th.

R9: Teri boxing smart, staying tall, fighting behind her jab/wheel-pivoting clockwise. Ripa lumping up out on the end of Teri's left: Kelly frustrated, unable to penetrate consistently.

R10: Teri setting up behind the jab: Kelly stoops, jabs tummy, then stiff-jabs head to edge her way inside. SAVAGE snapping, sustained punishment to Teri's ribcage - Kelly in close and snatching away both fists: Hatcher sobs aloud, staggers to ropes. Ripa hops in, bends low while pulling the right hand overtop: cracking blast to Teri's face lands flush. Hatcher stunned, dukes at tits as she slumps glassy-eyed against ropes: KELLY'S ALL IN! Ripa all sinewy - body tense as she unleashes both hands in tattooing assault tummy tits and chin. Hatcher catching, wilting - hands drooping as Kelly lathers away - small gloves bouncing off Teri's unprotected, staring face and THE REF STEPS IN! Withering TKO10 Kelly Ripa!

After: Little blonde just delighted - squealing and jumping around the ring like an ingenue with her first stoppage. Hatcher cut at the hairline, weak-kneed: she just couldn't hold up under Ripa's ferocious bombardment. Jenny O'Dell bonuses BOTH

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