Posted by simguy on 1/16/2009

Before: "I know what you guys are thinking," Jen grins mischievously. "And the answer is yes: i will be going at Scarlett's rack, don't worry. Not that I get the whole 'Scarlett Johansson' thing. Girl's a hag, and that chest isn't exactly up to Jennifer Love Hewitt standard - but whatever. I aim to please, even if if means slumming in a second rate top." Scarlett smiling hard, understanding there'll be no quarter asked or given in this fight. "It's not all about what Jen wants to do and where she wants to go," Johansson says in rebuttal. "She's confusing what she WANTS to have happen with what WILL happen, and I think those are going to be two very different things." Jen in purple bikini; black gloves; hair in long tangly curls. Johansson in black push up bra with white lace trim; black boy-cut bottoms; white gloves; blonde hair straight, loose, long.

During R1: Inconclusive melee midring - both girls swinging, ducking. Johansson recovers balance after exchanging, reloads, leans in on front (right) foot to jam a pair of straight, knocking left hands flush onto Jen's face Hewitt spanked, stunned: she reels on her heels to ropes, hitting in disarray. Scarlett hopping-to, attacking off Jen's left shoulder. Blonde weight on right (front) foot: left elbow in close to her body as she's CRANKING sidearm left hands against Jen's bulging rack! Oh the whacking thump of it! Heavy, swatting strokes - Johansson's left foot occasionally skidding up off canvas as she pounds her rival. Hewitt in jug-shock - mouth open, eyes wide, dim: she absorbs several thumping blows before organizing guard, sliding to her right at ropes. Johansson steps with - right shoulder pointed in, forming a loose hinge with Jen's left shoulder. Short, swatting right hooks clout Jen's left temple, setting up blunt, chopping left hands from southpaw stance - Johansson chopping face and chest with lethal accuracy. Scarlett keeping weight on front foot, clipping the shots short - no backswing as she swipes and jams away. Second minute a truly legendary humbling of Jen's magnificent rack: Scarlett just won't lay off - pulverizing it with vicious left hands after clubbing Jen about her noggin with right hooks or right uppercuts. Final minute - Hewitt in tatters, beaten along the perimeter without mercy by Johansson: proud brunette finally succumbs to hellish bombardment, spilling forward onto all fours bleak with punishment. Johansson beaming - tossing hair off her shoulders, strutting away all jugs and tummy, feeling good about herself after a brutal, one-sided punking of Ms. Hewitt. Jen stunned, staring, kneading breasts with heel of right hand en route to her corner.

R2: Hewitt badly mauled last round: she composes herself during break, responds well. Hewitt hanging back early - feinting-with Scarlett, jabbing her from a bobbing crouch. Johansson outside, moving to her right, keeping her front (right) foot outside of Jen's front (left) foot - tracing circles with right hand, looking to lean in that short, pulverizing left to chin. Not a lot of big connects: Jen able to stabilize her front, steer Scarlett around for points.

R3: Scarlett still circling clockwise - using her right hand to bat at Jen's left - often swatting brunette jab out of the air. Both women trying to potshot the back (power) hand straight up the middle: Jen with rights, Scarlett with lefts. Down the stretch, it's Johansson breaking the stalemate, putting a jamming straight left directly on-chin, unhinging Jen's knees. Hewitt scuppered, forming a panicky earmuff: Scarlett pivots-right, sweeps that thick, tidy sidearm left hand with the elbow-in delivery - CLOBBERING Jen's heaving rack. Hewitt sobbing aloud as she's buffeted - baby-stepping forward as Scarlett maintains angle, cleans up for points on offending jugs. Johansson grinning huge again, fronting on a sniveling Hewitt: ref intervenes as Jen won't have it.

R4: Jennifer regroups, once again stalking Scarlett as Johansson circles counter-clockwise. Hewitt having some success crowding, pushing-in on Johansson, forcing her to brawl out of the clinch. Sloppy stuff - Jen's left arm in under Scarlett's right - fighters' heads in close together as they struggle to tuck free hands into opposing rack. Stumbling gait as they operate at close quarters - Jen using her right, Scarlett her left - to push, cuff and dig at offending meat. Jennifer mixing it up well with right hands tucked up into Scarlett's tummy: extra vigor probably earns Hewitt the round.

R5: Hewitt a frustrated beauty: she's crouching, jabbing, trying to find Scarlett with stubby right hands: Johansson turning that southpaw angle, staying off Jen's left shoulder, out-hitting her. Hewitt constantly turning into short left hands to the face, then clipped the right hook as she covers up, then picked up the short right uppercut: Scarlett neat and precise off her front (right) foot, picking Jen apart. Johansson patient, waiting for spots to place her left hand: she's drilling it to face - stunning Hewitt, then plowing into jug with gusto as brunette's trying to reorganize. Down the stretch, flurry of rising rights and lefts cuffs at Jennifer's bosom, slugging her to ropes: she's hurt again, unraveling, unable to keep Johansson off. Jen wilting under renewed pressure to her jugs: she turns to her right, sinking to left knee as ref moves in to push Scarlett off. Johansson struts to midring, crosses her arms, assumes super-heroine pose with a high-tilted chin as poor Jennifer limps back to port.

R6: Scarlett continues to dominate Jennifer midring. Southpaw angle giving Hewitt problems; counter-clockwise rotation keeping her a step behind; chopping, non-anticipatory punching and unfamiliar combinations continue to pepper Jen face-and-jug. Scarlett in a rhythm - weight on front (right) foot as she pivots round, shoulders shrugging and rotating, muscling short, peppy punches onto Jen. Hewitt rocked, put wobbly butt on a few occasions: Scarlett IMMEDIATELY electing to pile into rack rather than going after chin. Result is Hewitt standing, but blinking back tears at the bell, suffering and trembling as Scarlett pushes up off brunette at ropes.

R7: Similar 'hinged' look - Scarlett's right shoulder opposing Jen's left as girls rotate counter-clockwise midring. Hewitt having more success with her right hand - finding Scarlett to chin early, winning some respect. Down the stretch, Jennifer more than holding her own: she steps in a blunt right straight to chin, knocking Scarlett's head back and SITTING HER DOWN! Johansson scooting to her glutes, sitting up in blinking wonder: puffy, disheveled Hewitt glares down, assessing the damage done.

R8: Johansson's turn to rally off the deck: doesn't happen. Hewitt quickly across the ring, jabbing Scarlett to ropes, digging her a tough right hand to tummy, then turning on a pair of ultra-short left hooks to jug. Hewitt on Scarlett's rack at long last: Jennifer grimacing with her own efforts as she leans in close, working forehead to forehead. Hewitt short, clouting about her foe's chest: punches cuffing and chopping as Johansson's jostling jugs. Scarlett trying to cover up, but Jen won't have it: Hewitt greedily pulling at her foe's wrists, exposing the meat behind. Hewitt smart about it - digging the occasional left hook thick to paunch, always loosening Scarlett in order to pile on up top. Johansson savaged: she shows pluck absorbing her beating, refusing to bend the knee, though shedding involuntary tears under Jen's heavy hands.

R9: Johansson bopping it back outside: she does best from the angle first - looking to poke Jen a stiff left to chin, then clean up on her as Hewitt's rallying. Jen taking a good shot here, especially early: Scarlett's left hand has been able to find Jennifer with thrilling ease tonight. Round devolves into that close in digging clinch: Jen's left arm under Scarlett's right - the beauties snuggling close, trying to tuck free mitt to tender belly or jug.

R10: Jennifer punching-with: brunette right hand outscoring blonde left as both women target faces early. Pushing forward, Hewitt eventually able to force Johansson ropeside: Jen squaring up, working the waist with a series of methodical rights and lefts - Hewitt getting her hips into smooth, thick strokes. Scarlett bunching up, looking a little body-shook: Jen pushing and bumping her girl, getting big on her before loading up for jug late. Robust, clobbering shots - lefts and rights - take Scarlett in her biceps and breasts. Blonde weepy, suffering at the ropes, but once again taking what she must to make it to the bell. At the break - Jen continues working, bringing the ref in as angry Johansson retaliates. Comes back one point duke, Scarlett Johansson.

After: Johansson scuffed up, but exultant, shouting "YES!" at the announcement and hugging her trainer. Hewitt almost immediately confronted by a disgusted Lacey Chabert: Jeri's curvy brunettes shrieking at each other midring, nearly coming to blows as officials intervene. "I won the fight in the first round," Scarlett relates, face flushed with excitement, punishment. "I battered her, and yes, I deliberately went rack. I could've gone chin - maybe I get her out of there - but I knew if I got into her jugs and humbled her - really and truly humbled her - it would break her spirit. Jennifer Love Hewitt gave it up to me tonight because I gambled and won early. It's the same thing Jen did to unnerve Salma Hayek: what goes around, comes around, baby!"