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17 April 2010 Megan Fox vs Kelly Monaco

Page history last edited by Archer844 14 years ago

Posted by simguy on 4/17/2010, 10:27 am

BEFORE: "To me," Kelly says in prefight," Megan's a classy prospect, but she's rusty, and hasn't been developing...perfect pickings for a fighter like me. I don't even know that she'd beat Lindsay Lohan right now, and that's a big question mark if you're Megan Fox. I just don't think she's ready to take on a girl as focussed and hungry as I am." Fox poo-poohing the notion that she's under-worked, issuing a strong rebuke to her opponent. "First, don't ever say the name Lindsay Lohan in my presence: everyone knows I've hunted that skank to extinction, and I'm the reason she's in the shabby state she's in today. Second, it's not like I didn't want to fight in '09, it's just that girls weren't willing to face me. It's tough, I mean - when you go against Megan Fox, you KNOW you're going to get humiliated at the weigh in, then you're going to be battered in the ring. That's a lot to face for other celebrities: they don't want to be stripped down like that. So Kelly's brave and obviously confident in herself, and that's great. Trouncing her is just the statement I want to make for 2010!" Kelly in tan bra and panties; short UGG boxing boots; white rabbit's fur punching mittens (won't cut; promotes bruising). Fox in pastel baby blue bra and panties; short tan UGG boxing boots; white rabbit's fur punching mittens.

During R1: Meg flashing a pesky jab - chipping it against Kelly's mouth as Monaco's leaning to her right. Kel back with hooks - lunging in and trying for Megan's chin. Fox bendy-backed, leaning to-and-fro on her hips; pivoting around a grounded left heel - swatting back open-hand slapping hooks off her hip; chopping little hammer-drop right hands from the shoulder. Rousing stuff - girls leaping at each other/recoiling away in supple harmony. Round ends with Fox hounded to corner - Kelly spraying punches to the head as Megan bobs/rolls to slip 'em supple.

R2: Megan jabbing Kelly into peek-a-boo, then leaning forward to bat heels of both hands against Monaco's ribcage, drawing warnings. Fox stepping lithe, circling Kelly: Megan snarling, feinting, dropping in pesky lead rights and rising hooks, then pivoting left to avoid receipts. Monaco coming up short: she's forced to lunge, take risks to get to her sinewy foe.

R3: Early exchange sees Fox swishing fur-lined knuckles back and forth across Kelly's face - Megan scrubbing punches with pursed lips, buffing up her foe. Kelly missing, stumbling forward when Megan sidesteps left: Fox back on with the jab, then thump-skidding that sneaky right off Kelly's pate. Hard-stroking hooks lick Kelly's right jawline: small rabbit fur glove jarring Monaco, shaking her up. Down the stretch, Fox as likely to shoeshine jug as face - buffing up Kelly's double-D's with a brisk chamois action wiping. Fox cool, prettily punching and moving: Monaco lumping up, scowling as Meg out-touches her through 3.

R4: Pressure up the middle from Monaco leads to Kelly getting her face buffed: scrubbing, swishing lefts and rights from Megan as Fox shoeshines, then sidesteps. Kel sticks with it however: rewarded midway through when lunging hook finds Megan's jaw, buckles her knees. Fox scattered to ropes, eyelashes blinking: Kelly able to square up, thump mittens off ribs with a brutal, palm-down chopping delivery. Meg ties up, gets ref's break, reorganizes midring: Fox able to extricate herself behind that classy jab - losing the round, but keeping her distance to bell.

R5: Kelly learned something last round, applies it this round. Weaving in close, Kelly lunges up from crouches, strapping hooks to Foxy's chin. Megan rocked early, blown to ropes: Fox glassy-eyed, lips parted, looking busted. Beatdown: Monaco SCOURING her girl - beating the body, then the head with rapid, non-stop flurrying combos. Fox bewildered - right fist stacked atop left at her body...she twists side to side, trying to take punches off either shoulder; trying to slip and roll the incoming. Monaco refusing to be clinched - tummy-slugging ferociously any time Fox tries it - then immediately switching upstairs to bounce mitts off skull. Jugs? Monaco turning over hooks to spurn Megan's regal rack: Fox's composure breaks as her bra is humbled; she issues her first bleats of pain and outrage. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly - pouring it on: down the stretch, she thumps a pair of rabbit-fur hooks off Megan's liver, doubling her forward in pain. Clean up hooks thump-skid across taut lower back, easing Megan down to all fours. Meg blubbering, hurting, but proud: she beats the count sniffling, bravely nodding yes when ref asks if she wants to continue. Only seconds left, but Kelly gambles, lunges in a ringing hook to chin and knocks Megan to her butt at the bell! "TWO KNOCKDOWNS MEG!" Kelly screams at Fox as Meg's looking up all distressed through 5.

R6: Pressure from Monaco: Fox dips left shoulder - hooks those trunks; hooks those trunks: poor Kelly doubling up, babystepping forward in agony. Megan over to offence, issuing a brutal payback scrubbing to Kelly's lower back, then sidestepping right. Kel in pain, turning: Megan lashes her a vicious buggywhip right in above left hip, drawing a throttled moan from poor Kelly. Monaco trying to close on shabby legs: Megan shoe-shines that impressive rack - fur-lined mittens scrubbing back and forth, humbling world-class melons. Fox sidestepping, turning Kelly's left flank: she's hooking Monaco's waist; punching her across the mouth with thumb-up chop-strokes; clapping illegal open-hand heel-strike left hooks to Kelly's jaw. Down the stretch, Fox rolls a weak Monaco right with the left shoulder - answers back a succulent, stroking right uppercut to tan panties; Monaco bunches up, sobbing out in shock. Kelly doubled over midring: Fox purses lips, issues savage side to side scrubbing of those kidneys - fur mittens thump-skidding across tight flesh like a drum. DOWN GOES KELLY! Monaco wilting to all fours, panting in agony: she tries to rise, can't do it...KO6 in cheap fashion - Megan Fox.

AFter: Fox preening, blowing kisses, posing...even as her crippled opponent is helped to her feet, eased to her stool and tended to. "Too much class," Megan explains in postfight, glossing over the foul stench of her victory. "And let's face it - my aura sort of stuns girls when they get in the ring. Kelly's proud of her body - and rightly so - but it's just not Megan Fox calibre, you know? I could see in her eyes that she felt second rate - and that's no kind of mind set to be in when you're about to start punching!" Sarah Carter issuing an open challenge on Twitter to Fox to have her people "call my people to get something done" - Carter suitably impressed by Megan's cruelty AND lissome, bendy-backed style. Lohan less impressed, tweeting: "Fox is a fraud, and a cheater, and I hate her." Zoe Saldana said to be "ready, willing, and able" for Fox: no shortage of interested parties if Megan's willing to work.