Posted by simguy on 2/17/07

Charlize frowning during weigh in as a fit, trim and buxom Kelly takes the scales in black bra and panties: press corps carrying on like a bunch of awestruck boys - table tops are banged; heads are hit with shoes; hubba-hubbas, whistling, someone even crowing like a rooster for God's sake. "She's a poor man's Cat Bell," Charlize says of Kelly in prefight. "At least she's gotten rid of those love handles and saddlebags - I appreciate the work she's put into herself. Nobody likes to fight one of these saggy British bags of goo, you know? Kelly's sported herself up, gotten herself shipshape - least I can do is sink her in spectacular fashion." Charlize in green bikini, small black "Cat Paw" brand gloves. Kelly in white bikini, hair in tangle-curls all down her back; small white "Cat Paw" brand gloves.

During R1: Charlize repulsed early: Kelly lifting a rifling left jab off her hip, spearing it against Theron's face as Charlize tries to get big at the open. Theron scowling over left shoulder as she walks-right: she regroups, immediately seeks to counter Kelly's poke with sudden, cobra-strike right hands over top. Spirited stuff - Kelly keeping her right nice and high, nailing Theron some very straight, technically sound one-twos up the middle. Charlize bandy-armed, catching Kelly the odd pull-counter right hand and dazzling her upside the head with a batting, sideswiping hook. Theron's penetrative efforts rewarded late: she presses Kelly to ropes, squirms in on her, then starts mugging those hulking jugs with sexy little shrug-punches. Kelly grimacing, getting kneaded and scrubbed as CT plows away methodical. Near the bell, Theron ties up around Kelly's elbows, chesting brunette heavy to ropes and taunts: "Sloshin' it to your juggs, Kel - how's that feel?" Whine of complaint, futile struggle from Kelly to push her tormentress off as ref's moving in.

R2: Theron lithe legged, hopping to her foe with loose limbs: more swatting hooks, backhanded jabs and opportunistic right hands as CT fights off the balls of her feet. Kelly staying compact, stepping smartly, but setting down flatfooted - that rifling jab a startler, frequently spanking Charlize to face, making her blink. Minute mark, Kelly shows heart: CT with a sliding, licking, wide hook to jaw, puts a sharp right hand on top to stun Brook - Kelly stepping out, giving her pretty head a shake, regrouping nicely. Theron on the pounce - slowly taking the fight to Kelly - Brook starting to step to her right and slide-step away from Charlize, though maintaining that heavy, rebuking jab in good order. Midway point - Charlize lazy-jabs, loading her right hand to finish: Kelly spikes her jab to CT's left eye, punching back Theron's head and DROPS THAT SPEARING RIGHT! Theron's right hand sails loose as she takes the full brunt of Brook - Theron's knees bending, legs corkscrewing - CHARLIZE SPRAWLS TO HER BACK! Kelly nostrils flaring, eyes blazing as she struts past: Charlize a-swoon, arms out, hands above her head and it's OVER! Good Lord - KO2 Kelly Brook as CT can't get off her back!

After: Theron gently sat up, brought around all blinky-eyed and open mouthed, then helped rickety to her stool - proudest blonde in Christendom reduced to rubbery-legged ruin as Kelly dials in righty and drops the hammer. Last time CT got hit with anything like that right hand was probably in a similar early KO loss to Jeri Ryan - Kelly Brook's former mentor - no accident that the buxom Brit is pitchin' large these days. Hasn't exactly been a meteoric rise for Kelly - she came up through British brawling circuits, made the jump to the American beach scene, paid more dues at Samdog - but filter through it all and Kelly’s got wins over Jennifer Garner and now Charlize: she's slowly getting her act together.

CT on her stool - bleak, out of it. She looks up dimly as Kelly approaches: Brook smirking as she signs one of her sensational 8"x11" bikini shots, "To Charlize: Sux to be you! Luv: 'KO' Kelly." Reaching in, Brook plasters the photo to Charlize' sweaty upperchest, winks, purses her lips, then struts away primping her hair, leaving Charlize fuming in groggy rage at the sight of that maddening British backside.