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Before: "It's an unsanctioned fight," Jenny O'Dell explains in a BLONDE! Mag promo piece for the Jenny/Krista St. Patrick's Day Massacre event. "So we had to be inventive on the promotional side. We bumped the gate by auctioning all tix on ebay - making the most of the small venue. We're going live to an internet site instead of TV: no network will touch bare knuckle bar-fighting, obviously. We've got good corporate sponsorship locked in, so I'm telling you: the girls are going to find these hard knocks worthwhile. I know McCarthy would fight Krista for a ham sandwich - but Allen's got her usual bullshite demands... but whatever. As of right now, I can tell you it is on; the girls look great; everyone wants to fight, and I can't wait!"
Krista in dark green bikini, bra style top; tan hiking boots with rolled down socks; taped fists; hair in short, unruly, brunette tousle. Jenny in neon green bikini with big brass ring connections; black hiking boots (socks rolled down).
Chicago bar - Ceili's: large floor space with central bar; dark wood with shiny brass appointments. North end of the bar is raised, with booths; booths line the perimeter of the room - hardwood fighting floor has been cleared of tables, chairs. Eastern section of room cordoned off by a low hip-high wall around a dart-playing area (accessed by swinging gate) with pillars to the ceiling every ten feet or so (forming large, square holes opening onto the darts room). Through a hallway to the east are washrooms, then the pool room beyond that. Pogues in attendance - occupying the raised Northern end of the bar.
JMac belts a shot of Jameson's with JOD as fighters mill around with the crowd standing close. Allen making dagger eyes and snarly-lips as she glares over at blondes. Pogues launch into the fighting reel "If I Should Fall From Grace With God" - which evidently is Krista's cue to blindside Jenny with a cheap right hand. Round 1!
link to song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrBLqp-s__o
If I should fall from grace with god
Where no doctor can relieve me
If Im buried neath the sod
But the angels wont receive me
During R1: Mac rocked by Krista's opening poke - blonde rolls her back to the bar, hands open loose at her chest - she's trying to rally. Crowd roars, steps away - circle of people about 15-20 feet in diameter as Allen squares away. Fists loose at her chest, Krista leans into a big, stroking right across Jenny's face - punching Jenny one complete revolution against the bar's brass rail. Mac staring - shouts in pain as Krista steps into blonde tummy with a short right hand. Allen licking her lips: left arm wraps round Jenny's right, holding her steady; Krista weight on right foot, starts PUMPING in the rights to Jenny's body. Crowd shouting "ONE! TWO! THREE!" with each big, digging blow - then Kris pushes Jenny against bar, sorts her out, ties up her left arm to go at the body with free left hands. Mac bunching up, pitching forward: Krista just a-SLAMMIN' away at Mac's toned gut, firm ribs. Reaching under Jenny's arms: Kris hugs up, then bulls Jenny back HARD against brass rail at bar: Mac sobbing out, head pitching backward, face pinched in agony. Allen grinning, crouches down, jams a straight, short, palm-down right hand into Jenny's tummy, then straightens into a sudden left hook (palm-down). Mac chin-toggled: she turns drowsily to her left, spilling to all fours, panting in shock, her left side to the bar. BOOT TO THE RIBS! Krista's face all malevolent glee as she heaves the right foot up into Jenny's magnificent torso with a sickening thud: brunette with fists up above her head, really pouring it in. 'Ref' finally engaging, pushing Krista back as Jenny cringes - left arm hugging pulsing ribs. Mac beats the count, shaking her head to clear hair off her eyes, blinking, raising her dukes. Krista moves in, jabs Jenny's mouth, hooks her cheek: Mac takes groggy, answers back stubborn - hooking Krista's waist, then her jugs CHUP! CHUP!. Allen frowning, pumping the jab to Jenny's face KRAK! KRAK! hooking off the jab, then hooking Jenny's right armpit PAK! Jenny absorbing, standing there hurt, but dutifully hooking back at Krista's ribs, turning the punches over. Down the stretch, Mac head down, fists pumping - she beats her way into Krista's torso: Allen punched back to midring, grunting in pain as McCarthy shows her Irish. Allen clinches, wincing out over Jenny's shoulder: Crowd erupts into savage booing at Allen's un-Irish grappling: McCarthy tries to wriggle free. 10-8 Krista: Jenny back to the bar all disheveled, belts a shot of Jamesons, wipes her mouth, pulls herself together.
Let me go, boys
Let me go, boys
Let me go down in the mud
Where the rivers all run dry
R2: Jenny still at the bar, sees Krista approaching from starboard, trying to get another early jump: blonde comes off the bar with a swinging left cross, clouting Kris about the teeth. Allen rocked back, dazed: Jenny wades in smiting. Lefts and rights - big, boozy grin, Jenny Mac - she steps into the blows, beating Krista towards the darts area. Allen spills through the gate, stumbling into the far wall: Jenny wades in, hands at chest - pulling the right hand waaay back, then plowing it thick to Allen's midsection. Grunt of pain Krista - she bunches forward, butt-against-wall: Jenny shoves her upright, getting to work. Thick lefts and rights - Jenny bringing her dukes back to chest resets, then popping her hips and swinging lusty at Allen's midsection or ribs: harsh, cracking blasts beat Krista into stupor. Allen dazed, slugging back in spots: she's catching Jenny rangy hooks; tucking right uppercuts into Jenny's ribs. Mac taking what she has to, standing her ground: she reaches in to stack Kris hard against the wall again and again, eventually knocking one dart board off it's hooks to crash against hardwood. Taped fists on bare, toned flesh: crowd delirious as Jenny batters her brunette. Final minute - Allen able to squirt out to her right, stumbling away in stupor: rump hits the low wall surrounding the games area. Jenny wades in with a right to pit of Krista's belly, then a sweeping right uppercut: Allen rocked up and back, pitching over the wall, sprawling awkwardly to the floor head-and-shoulders first on the other side. Jenny stomping round to emerge through the gate - she gets to Krista as Allen's just rising, blonde palming brunette shoulders and pushing her backward through the crowd. Fighters hit the bar Krista-first: Jenny doubles Allen over with a stuffing right/left to gut. Vicious hammer fist across the back brings a bark of pain from Krista: she drops to one knee - ref bodying Jenny back as she's getting ready to punch a downed opponent.
CONCLUSION:
Posted by simguy on 3/17/2009, 7:20 am, in reply to "St. Patrick's Day Massacre: Krista Allen vs Jenny McCarthy pt1"
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This land was always ours
Was the proud land of our fathers
It belongs to us and them
Not to any of the others
Let them go, boys
Let them go, boys
Let them go down in the mud
Where the rivers all run dry
R3: Krista blocks a wide Jenny right - digs a counter-right up into McCarthy's stomach, doubling blonde over "GUHHH!" Kris using her left to wrap Jenny's right, holding Mac for repeat rights to the body: blonde punched up onto her toes, doubled up in agony as Kris slugs heavy off the right foot. Krista pushes Jenny off, walks her down: Mac with hair in her eyes, hands at her chest, facing into punches. Kris twisting on her hips, fetching Jenny clouting right, then clouting left: Jenny's head tossing side to side as she backs up. Jenny tries a wide left: Krista blocks it high, smites Jenny a crisp left across the face - spinning blonde around, sending her reeling into the bar (chest first, supported on her forearms). Krista stalking in: fingertips of left hand brush Jenny's lower back, measuring her for a vicious right knee to glutes: howl of pain Jenny as she nearly takes a knee. Kris snarling, baring her teeth: moves in from Jenny's left side, right hand fisting in Jenny's hair and smashing Jenny's forehead against the bar. McCarthy comes up dazed, cut at the hairline, spilling off to her right: she's just wandering around as Krista walks her down from behind. Allen spins Jenny about, hoping to paste her righty: Jenny blocks with a high left, drifts Kris a brawny right across the chops. Allen staggering - Jenny stumbling: badly shopworn girls square away in shabby half-crouches, trading thick, single-shot shellack to bell. Beautiful babes busting up badly through 3: neither girl sparing the lash here.
Bury me at sea
Where no murdered ghost can haunt me
If I rock upon the waves
Then no corpse can lie upon me
Its coming up three, boys
Keeps coming up three, boys
Let them go down in the mud
Where the rivers all run dry
R4: Cautious circling for the first time - hardwod creaking beneath hiking boots - both girls swaying slightly, tracing little ovals with left hands set to jab. Krista finds Jenny's face with poke: a bright, crisp KRAK! Jenny answers, punching Krista's face back as girls rotate grimly clockwise. Kris tries to rush in and hug: Jenny crouches, chugs lefts and rights to tummy and jug - beating back the attempt. Jenny swinging the big right: she's routinely blocked, then forced to absorb pumping Allen right hands in the body. Fight stumbles down the hall to the pool room: Jenny with the upperhand as she slugs Krista into the king-sized billiards table. Kris feels the edge at her rump: she sits up on it, welcoming Jenny in between her legs as blonde pushes forward. Struggling, mutual embrace: Kris securing her legs about Jenny's hips, then working close-in hold-and-hit. Jenny doing the same - both girls snuggling, but working, jamming away at each other in the grasp. Grunting, grimacing stuff - arms writhing for advantage in the closest of confines. Ref uncrosses Krista's ankles, breaking things up just as Jenny's found pleasure via the side of her right fist pounding over and over into Krista's ribs/hip. Panting, exhausted beauties the result of it all: Jenny hands on hips, dragging in breath as she wanders back into front room; Krista laying back on the pool table, legs dangling over the edge, hands up above her head, eyelashes fluttering during the break.
If I should fall from grace with god
Where no doctor can relieve me
If Im buried neath the sod
But the angels wont receive me
R5: Groggy stepping about - girls mouthbreathing, shabby - occasionally just reaching out to brush one another fingertips, measuring. Allen pumping jabs to Jenny's face - knocking blonde head back - then hooking her that palm-down clipper: crisp, constant cracking. Girls fall together in spots - each enjoying moments where she can wrap the other up in the left arm, the better to plow her righty underneath. They push off to separate, then stalk each other. Krista a little fresher, really doing wonders on Jenny's body: blonde hobbled at the bell, involuntarily hugging herself in pain. From directly in front of hurting Jenny, Krista does the following:
- Left hand fingertips tap Jenny's chin, coaxing her head up.
- Kris steps in close, planting on right leg while twirling 360 counter-clockwise, putting her back to Jenny's front.
-Krsita's sinewy left leg swings up and back between Jenny's legs, the hamstrings pushing up into crotch
-Jenny grunts in shock as she's lifted up: Krista's toned buns clenching with the force of the blow as she glances over her right shoulder, teeth bared.
- Jenny picked up - both her feet shoot backwards: she hits hardwood on her left shoulder, both hands pressed against her trunks. Rocking gently, she's all "guh...guh..."
- Krista doesn't even look back, just lifts her arms, grins and shouts "'SHEILA'S BROOM', BABY!" bringing the house down at the celtic turn of phrase.
Let me go, boys
Let me go, boys
Let me go down in the mud
Where the rivers all run dry
R6: Jenny dukes low at chest...but she's cringing, babystepping forward - still visibly throbbing from that hellacious crotch shot. Kris puffy-faced, but alert: she steps-to, rolling her left shoulder sexy as she pumps jabs to Jenny's face KRAK!...KRAK!...KRAK!. Mac finally answers a boozy right hand: Kris slips it, hooks Jenny hard above the hip, catching a bit of the back. McCarthy whines in pain, back arched, eyes shut tight as she momentarily poses in agony. Kris snuggles in - left arm round Jenny's shoulders, holding her cheek to cheek: right hand plowing up into gut, or curling into jug as poor Jenny soaks it up. Kris takes Jenny by the scruff of her neck, marching her to a nearby booth: brunette hurls Jenny to a seat, then slides onto the table, bracing woozy blonde with legs/knees on either side. Kris heartless - back straight, left arm loose behind Jenny's head, bringing her in close; right fist clenched, lifting up, driving down Irish Washerwoman style. Poor Jenny sponging it up - punched repeatedly on her face/side of the head. Blonde hands reach round brunette buns, cupping there as Krista sits up strong on the table, Jenny's arms limp atop either Allen thigh. Dull muffled thumps as Kris just rams 'em home while Jenny sits, takes. Eventually Allen stops - left arm still securing Jenny - right side of blonde's face cushioned against Krista's breasts. "Check her ref - she's out!" Kris shouts. Official moves in, brushes hair away from Jenny's sleeping face, then waves it off. Ref raises Krista's hand as she's sitting there - poor Jenny slumped forward and oblivious to proceedings. KO-6-in-the-booth - Krista Allen!
AFTER: Members of the crowd - and a few fellow fighters - slap Krista on the back, hoot encouragement. Meanwhile - Jenny's face down on the table in her lonely booth, sleeping off the beating of a lifetime. Allen walking around hands on hips - more than a little light-headed herself from punishment.
Eventually she makes her way to a glaring Jenny O'Dell at the bar. "I want a cheque before I leave tonight," Kris says, then she holds her hand out, "...and I believe you're holding something for me?"
Pursing her lips, O'Dell pulls at a slender gold neck chain, fastened to Jenny's pendant; hands said pendant to Kris. Allen smirking, tucks the cloverleaf into her bikini bottoms at the back, leaving O'dell to her whiskey, and Jenny to her bruises.
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