(Unsanctioned bout. Onset of “Fantastic Four” scrap--dice determined, with Jessica favored)

Posted by Simguy on 7/18/2005, 1:09 am.

Before: You knew as soon as Maria Menounos had been cast alongside Jessica Alba in “The Fantastic Four” that sparks would fly.

 “Jessica’s never been one to tolerate competition on set,” a closely placed source told BLONDE! Magazine. “Everyone knew this thing would have to be settled before shooting could begin, and it was no accident that Maria had been brought in. Producers know that if you challenge your leading lady and she meets the challenge--she’ll give you a great performance. Of course, it your scene-stealing starlet beats your headliner, it can hurt the movie, so it’s a risky proposition.”

Maria was enthusiastic coming in, telling friends, “Jessica’s ripe for the picking and I can’t believe I have the opportunity to show her up! I’m hotter than Cuthbert, Alba, Mendes--all of them--and now’s a great chance to open some eyes around here.”

Fought on cleared sound stage, ring and bleachers set up for private cast, crew and execs only--Maria in neon pink bikini, white shoes and gloves--Jessica in neon baby blue bikini white shoes and gloves.

During R1: Right away, it became evident that Menounos was now raw rookie. Aggressively stepping at Jessica, confident grin on Peloponnesian lips, Maria stalked in a slugger’s crouch, balanced to jab, and throw hard hooks off the front foot. Alba used her legs early to destabilize her foe, dancing round the ring, feinting. Jess carried her hands low when outside, bringing them up only as necessary--she was loose, tanned, relaxed, frowning in concentration: her lips set in a perpetual snarl as she sought the class advantage early.

R2: More tactical give and take--Alba threatening then fading, stooping to snatch jabs at flat Greek tummy, sliding to either side. Both girls batted at each other’s hips and flanks, working sleek ribcages and trying to prove herself the stronger puncher. By the middle minute, Jessica began setting down, working from a closed stance and seeking hot right hands either over the top or uppercutting into Maria’s ribcage. Menounos appeared unconcerned, her gloves at her cheeks as she sets to receive punches on her arms or body, then answering with banging hooks as both girls encroached on the other.

R3: Hard, hard punching burst forth this round--both girls shaking each other to the core and being rattled in return. Jessica was more supple, her left shoulder pointed at Maria in a plausible imitation of Kelly Hu, and Alba was getting vicious, ripping leverage on screened right uppercuts, stepping back to pick up forget-me-not hook as well. Menounos legs were challenged in the first minute as Alba tagged chin right/left, but maria held firm: she would fight her way through the hurt and Jessica’s punching to exact revenge late. Down the stretch, with Alba wide-eyed and harried at the ropes, Menounos raked away strong, towing lefts and rights to buffet her blonde about the head and shoulders, sending visible tremors down Jessica’s long, tanned shanks and nearly dropping her at the bell,. Maria chested up and forced searing eye contact as Jessica blinked, pouted: the starlet was standing up to the star tonight, fighting just as hard as Britney Spears, Jennifer Connelly or Eliza Dushku ever had.

R4,5,6: The girls boxed: Jessica to buy time for her legs, Maria to patiently deny Alba canvas and options. Lanky arms licked and lashed punches whenever sultry beauties edged in close--ribcages were tanned, tummies torched, and both girls sought hot, clawing hooks across offending youthful jug. They parted and came together with rare elegance--long strong limbs and proud bodies performing like German engineered machines. Where Alba was slick, supple and fluid, Maria tended to be more straightforward. Where Jessica would slip and counter, Maria would tend to counter off the block. Menounos hated to give ground, fought for every inch of canvas: Alba would ease back to create room, subtly announce herself as the classier of the two by fighting as well in reverse as she did coming forward. Maria hammered the body and looked to impose will: Alba changed distance, used finesse, fighting toe-to-toe only when it pleased her to challenge Menounos directly. After six blistering heats, although the scoring was tight--most in attendance began to feel an increasing Alba presence in the ring. Maria was fighting hard, but she wasn’t preventing Jessica from doing her thing. Slowly but surely, Jessica was putting her hands on this girl.

R7: Sensing the shift, Maria redoubled her effort and forced Alba to ropes, issuing a crowd-pleasing, batting beat down on the apron. Jessica grimaced and covered up, twisting and bending her torso to either side, struggling with Maria to push her off. Menounos swarmed Jessica and smashed away brawny lefts and rights belting Alba’s middle, sides, back, hips, shoulders and skull. Jess tried to keep her left shoulder in Maria’s jumping chest, pushing and nudging at the brunette, trying to disrupt the clanging flow of leather. It was wide, side to side, sloshing stuff and it was effective, but down the stretch, a well-composed Jessica Alba proved her quality. Rolling with punches, her face in her hands as her torso slowly gyrated, Jess timed Maria and beat her ro right hands with a gorgeous screened counter-right off the ropes. Menounos’ right sailed as her legs gave way--she stamped in fence post holes, badly stricken, and Jessica shouldered her backwards, now surging forward behind a lanky-limbed barrage of slashing punches. Stunned and hurt, Maria took the shelling as she reeled and thundered to her back: Jessica trampling over the top, unable to hold back her charging momentum, It was the clear turning point of the fight as a shaken Menounos got to her feet and swayed during the ref’s 8 count: Jessica glared hungrily from the neutral corner, anxious to add to Maria’s woes ASAP.

R8: Jessica took the fight to Maria now, riding her guard into Maria’s shoulders, propping her roughly, dipping and ripping uppercuts to the lungs and jugs. Menounos fought with a waxy expression, lips parted--she never stopped punching, but her legs were gone and the shots lacked the earlier chin-threatening zip they had had. Alba hurt Maria again with clouting hooks and clipping right uppercuts on the chin--Menounos was reeling from stand to stand, falling part from the waist down and the vengeful A-list beauty was giving her no chance to catch a breath. The eighth ended to the sight of Jessica’s best sustained lathering of the bout, stripping away Maria’s defenses as Menounos sat and soaked in the ropes.

R9: Jessica continued to pour it on, now able to hurt Maria with a sneaky jump-in lead rights and walk-away hooks, Alba’s eyes were hard, her lips pulled back in an aggressive snarl as she worked in and out on the remains of Menounos, Maria proved her heart as her  poor chin soaked up bomb after bomb, setting her legs a-stamping, but never once did she quit. Slapping now, Maria nevertheless would not stop flailing, Alba continued to box, working hard out of respect for Menounos’ never-say-die effort, but it was clear blonde had wrested control from brunette through 9. A lumpy, disheveled Menounos straggled back to her corner and was told simply, “Baby, you gotta lay her down. # minutes Maria. 3 minutes.”

R10: Maria came out swinging, throwing in the last of her reserves: Jessica danced away from it, piecing out her jab and using the ring to let the storm dissipate, then she slowly reasserted herself as Menounos tired. Alba bent at the waist, widened her stance and eased backwards to walk Maria into gut wrenching strokes to the body--rich, strapping lefts and rights that left no doubt in either woman’s mind who was the better beauty. For the first time, Menounos cried out, face distraught--her hands reaching for Jessica desperate to cuddle, but Alba would have none of it. Easing back in good order, Jessica curled her frame and greased Menounos’ chin the left uppercut--gave her the left shoulder and sliced ribs the left hook. Jessica was lanky, limber and mean now, hurting Maria with every shot, tearing away at the dregs. Maria wandered, hands outstretched or lifted limp ion a sad parody of defense--she simply could not stop Jessica taking whatever her heart desired. Working with licking lank, Alba stroked and slashed her punches, torquing Maria’s head side to side, scorching her to the body, and finally depositing her on all fours with just seconds left in the bout. So close for Maria--within moments of going the distance, her magnificent body could take no more. Sobbing on her haunches, Menounos howled as her limbs and trembling chassis quit on her, through her heart and mind wished desperately to continue. KO10 in heart pounding fashion, Jessica Alba.

After: No one would ever forget Jessica’s scowling face as she circled her foe and glared down, drinking in the evidence of her superiority. Jessica Alba had put her stamp on the film, taking her place alongside greats like Ann Margret (who actually used to insist that attractive starlets be cast in her films--just to keep her sharp and remove any complacency). And although a bad beat for Maria, it was not a wasted one: everyone in attendance could see that the WB product had game, could fight with the best young actresses in Hollywood. She had more than held her own tonight, vigorously contesting this fight up until the final minute of the seventh round, then stubbornly denying Jessica Alba satisfaction for a further 9 miunutes.

Reposted by Archer 2/2/11.