Before: Everyone's seen pics of Janet whittling herself down from 160+ (including rare footage of sparring in sweats and heavy hoodie against a similarly clad, similarly hefty Britney Spears some months ago) - Jackson coaxed back to the ring at 40 yrs by all the flattering press she's received for her revamped look, bringing out the usual naysayers and speculators.

"I think they're both hall of fame fighters," says a charitable Britney Spears in BLONDE! Magazine's preview/profile of the fight. "Janet may not have many sanctioned FCBA bouts under her belt, but she was a legend in the Private-fighting world - no fighter with a music industry background doesn't try to mimic Janet in one way or another. And Carmen - we've had our differences, but she was always a great fighter who's probably first-ballot going in and I like her chances here. Both girls beat Kiana in her prime, so that's a pretty good benchmark - probably the best win of either career. I love Janet, but Carm's closer to her prime and is probably more ring-ready. Can't believe I'm saying this, but I think it'll be Carmen Electra via late rounds stoppage!"

Kiana Tom promoting the biggest fight of her career - beach and bleachers setting in Hawaii - but much more elaborate/grander in scale: Tom riding the backs of Jackson/Electra into the promotional big-leagues with the most lucrative beach-boxing bout in history.

Janet in white crochet bikini, white gloves. Carm blonde for the occasion, pink bikini with yellow & white happy-flower print, ring connections - white gloves.

During R1: Sleek! Both girls assuming closed stances - pointing left shoulders, right hands at chins, left hands loose across the waist. Swivelling torso movement as girls pivot-left, or walk-right with sexy scowls over shiny left shoulders. Darting footwork in and out - both very, very quick - leading with hooks or potshotting right hands rather than the more pedantic jab-lead. Defensively, both supple-waisted - twisting side to side with pursed lips and pretty frowns as they slip punches, pointing either shoulder at the opponent while stepping flat-footed into pantherish stances. Deep crouches, sinuous torso movements keep both women safe from the teeth of one another's punching - not a lot of firm contact to report. Janet probably separating herself with a pair of poke-and-reload lead right hands at the midway point and a nice check-hook against Carm's ear to foil an Electra lunge late the round.

R2: Similar supple ranging, posing look early - both girls picturesquely traversing canvas, stepping flat-footed to spots, bending low, looking to rip powershots. Janet with a plan however - she's cutting off the ring on Electra, honing in with a flimsy backhanded jab, then committing on hard screened right hands off the shoulder and still nasty-quick hooks off the hip. Electra slipping and bounding away from the worst of it - but she's getting scuffed up in the exchanges, showing tremendous respect for Janet's brisk mitts. Carmy avoids shutout late with a brazen shoe-shining of Jackson's world-class abs - momentarily forcing JJ to cover up and sponge a swishing burst of lefts and rights to tummy at the bell.

R3: Janet continues to impose her will - gradually taking away canvas, confining Carmen to half the ring, then a quarter - Electra pivoting and jumping away from Jackson's measured advances. Minute mark - Janet pokes an abrupt lead right from her screened stance onto Carmen's chin, startling the blonde onto her heels, chasing her to ropes. Carmy concerned, dukes up, bending and rotating at her hips, leaning back into the ropes to keep head moving. Janet squares away, eyes narrowed - prodding the right hand to stabilize, looking to rip hooks as she tilts her torso to the left and ELECTRA STUNS JANET A RIGHT HAND! Gorgeous chop-counter off the ropes - Carmen sneaking a beauty onto Janet's chin - JACKSON'S BACK LEG GIVES WAY! JJ blinking in stupor, right knee touching down - crowd roaring to life as glorious beauty is rendered ramshackle in a heartbeat. Janet up at 8, but woozy - not taking the punch well as she settles into the ropes and HERE COMES CARMEN! Electra HUNGRILY at Janet - pinning ears back and flashing a pair of the quickest mitts in boxing - tattooing barrage erupting against Jackson's fabulous waistline, jugs, face, shredding her panicked defences. Chincheck...chincheck...chincheck - Janet taking hard hooks and crosses in combination against her face, staring on receipt, slumping limp into the ropes: JACKSON'S SWOONING! Janet defenseless, facing into Carmen's punches, hands stacked waist-high - Electra just setting her taut little frame and giving Janet the juice - Kiana at ringside with her finger up as the ref stares at her with pleading eyes. Tom just licking her lips, waiting...waiting...she finally signals the ref to step in as Janet is reduced to rubble, curvy legs holding her up, allowing her to absorb a terrible, crowd-pleasing beatdown from Electra. KO3 in startling fashion - Carmen Electra.

After: Jackson battered and shocked - 40 year old body thrilling to behold, but already skeptics are questioning her reflexes and ability to take a shot as Electra pounces for a quick KO.

"Janet Jackson is back and she's better than ever," pronounces a grinning Kiki T in postfight, taking the liberty of speaking for a badly shaken and confused Janet J. "And Beach Boxing is going to the next level with a new Deluxe brand complimenting our grass-roots operation. I've already signed Janet against Demi Moore for another mega-fight, and we're hoping to make history with Janet Jackson/Halle Berry if Berry ever decides to get her head out of her fabulous ass. It's going to be a glorious new era in the sun - Janet Jackson will dominate boxing as it's never been dominated before!"

Sounds good, but poor JJ doesn't look up to conquering the world just yet. The pounds have been shed, but plenty of rust still dogging that wondrous chassis after this heartbreaking setback.