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2 May 2011 Penelope Cruz vs Elsa Pataky

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 11 months ago

Penelope Cruz 04.jpg Elsa Pataky.jpg

CELEBRITY BOXING AFTER DARK

Posted by simguy on 5/2/2011, 2:33 pm

BEFORE: Cruz controlling the Spanish fight scene in much the same way as Zeta Jones once dominated the UK in her prime...Pataky a brazen young upstart determined to throw off Penelope's shackles. "She must go," Elsa affirms, pretty face hard with determination. "Penelope has ruled long and hard enough - but what has she ever accomplished outside of Madrid? In the US there is no respect for Spanish boxing because of Pene. I will destroy her here and prove that the fighters of Spain are among the world's elite!" Cruz hard-eyed, lovely brunette unaccustomed to such challenges from her homeland...it's a rare continental feud spilling over into FCBA rings. "I will crush Elsa," Penelope vows at podium. "She thinks she can show up and toss her hair and America will fawn over her, but it will not be like that. Here, I will expose her and send her home whimpering!" Penelope in midnight blue bikini; small lavender mitts; black hair loose n' tangly. Pataky in scarlet bikini; small black gloves; blonde hair in long ponytail with strands bracketing face. Seething stare down - vixens whispering Spanish epithets back and forth as ref drones instructions. Interesting, out-of-the-ordinary faces in the crowd including Virginie Ledoyen, Melissa George, Keira Knightley and others...Pene/Elsa carrying a bit of weight with the international set.

During R1: Leggy, lively show - lithe fighters circling, darting in and out, showing quality. Left hand jabs and hooks doing the business - girls seeking out tummies and tits, hunting for chins - all while traveling the ring, bouncing prettily off ropes, executing smart pivots/crouches/fades/pounces. Bell: chests are heaving; colour is high; eyes blazing as both have pinked the other about the breasts and tummy.

R2: Similar wide ranging, springy stuff: Spanish fighters known for their agility and precision and these girls live up to the hype. Some stiff jabs, some whacking licks swept across offending waistlines...neither girl able to get to chin with real authority through 2.

R3: Pene drilling into Elsa, doubling up the jab to get close, then crowding in. Completely different look - Pene grinding foreheads with Elsa - girls heads and gloves in close proximity for close-range bump-n'-slug. Gorgeous stuff - elbows in as they push on each other: one dishes licks while the other stays in snug/covering up. Pene rips at Elsa's waist right/left, bringing the mitts back to chin to receive Pataky's licks-in-kind. Pene scraping tidy uppercuts along Elsa's guard, scrounging for chin: Elsa doing the same, then crowding in close, forehead to forehead. Fight wanders around in a phone-booth - small mitts really biting at firm waistlines downstairs, then picking pretty faces up in turn. Pene slowly getting the better of bitter banging trade, backing Elsa up, getting hooks through to jaw, starting to loosen blonde guard a bit.

R4: Same again - Pene drilling in close with festive jabbing, then setting up big-girl with elbows in close to body, hands at chin, forehead grinding forehead. Digging, biting, snatching punches back and forth - fighters ripping at offending midsection, trying to loosen the other's defences. Chins become available to jerking little uppercuts after the midway point...pretty faces popping up startled/grumpy when smote. Down the stretch, Elsa looking achy, trying to disengage...Pene jabs blonde mouth, steps-to, crowds her, bangs her body to grind out the points.

R5: Same again...Pene starting to be the aggressor as Elsa's will seems to evaporate. Fighters pushing against each other forehead on forehead, or alternating head position to either cheek of the opponent. Both girls rubbing with left shoulders or extended left-elbows to get better positions - it's constant grinding contact in between the punches. Down the stretch, Pene's broken through Elsa's rigid guard to score against those rival jugs: Cruz just turning over hooks nice n' tight, clubbin' puppy for points as Elsa pouts, looking frazzled.

R6: Elsa leggy early, trying to shake Pene, trying to renegotiate distance...Cruz willing to ping away outside, swapping straight lefts and rights at range, but as soon as Pataky starts kissing leather off Pene's face, Cruz edges her way back inside. Once in, it's tightly-cropped two way punching - girls bumping and getting off, picking each other up uppercuts, then slashing away to offending tummies. Pene very hard-hearted with her younger foe here - backing Elsa up, snatching and digging at her torso, lighting her up tits-and-chin whenever blonde guard droops.

R7: Elsa's getting banged up. Outside, Pene's jab pounds past the Pataky guard, knocking at blonde brow, discouraging Elsa. Inside, Pene outworking her blonde, really tearing both hands across the belly via neat, swiping, swatting licks. Cruz accounting for Elsa's breasts via tightly-turned hooks, or shoulder-shrugging hup-hup...blonde girl on her heels, backing up full time now. Down the stretch, Pene's persistence rewarded as she flurries the Pataky gut; comes upstairs the hook to chin - buckling Elsa's knees and sending her reeling backward to ropes. Bell sounds out, but that doesn't prevent Pene from delivering a cheap little right/left against Elsa's jubblies, ringin' 'em up all jiggly to deflate Pataky's morale.

R8: Elsa's hurt, Pene on for clean up. Straightforward pressure as girls grind foreheads - Pene's fists hacking and chopping to offending waistline, weakening pretty Pataky terribly. Elsa blubbering as she's bullied about and punched...Pataky's legs very rubbery now, no longer able to push Pene around. Fight drifts to ropes - Cruz on top: brunette hook really reefing at blonde paunch or tucking in behind right elbow. It's all too much, Elsa sobbing out after a steady thrashing at ropes...blonde girl easing herself to right knee, then going to all fours as she just can't catch her breath. Pataky's cheeks tear-stained as she's bravely up just at 10...compassionate ref waves it off, hugging game blonde girl to safety. TKO8 Pene Cruz!

AFter: Cruz nicely touched up herself, but rough and aggressive with her conquest: Pene tugging Elsa out by her elbow for a shattering walk of shame. Cruz' right arm around Elsa's golden-brown waist...blonde girl blinking back tears and sniveling prettily as hardhearted brunette shows her all four corners.

Pene winning good reviews for a tougher than usual performance: rival spaniard bringing out the grit in a Pene Cruz often labeled by English-language press as soft. Elsa determined, but outclassed, but hasn't hurt her appeal...lots of FCBA fighters interested in sampling Pataky's wares before Fast and Furious 5 disappears from memory