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20 March 2009 Penelope Cruz vs Winona Ryder

Page history last edited by Archer844 15 years ago

Posted by simguy on 3/20/2009, 12:45 am

 

Before: Cruz re-polished, re-branded as an Oscar-winning dominant boxer-puncher: heavy PR campaign puts the statuette front and center, with promises for yet another "all out assault" against North America's finest. "Ryder is a peeg," Cruz chirps in prefight. "In Spain or Italy, she would not even be allowed onto the fighting beaches - too ugly! I weel torment her, then dispose of her at my leisure!"

 

Ryder fuming: Pene's brazen Oscar-flaunting adding fuel to Winona's fire. "One good hit on the chin will put Cruz on her back!" Winona declares. "Beating up euro-trash bimbos doesn't make Pene a fighter. She's never been able to take American wallop, and she's not gonna start now. One hit: I guarantee it!"

 

Pene in black, bra-style bikini with silver, stylized birds wings across the upper-rump; small black work out gloves; hair in ponytail with frisky bangs framing face. Winona in punching pink bikini; slender white belt on the bottoms; small white work out gloves.

During R1: Sweeping right hand, Noni: CRUZ IS ROCKED! Clapped upside the head - suddenly swooning Pene stumbles away, blinking prettily. Ryder sloppy on follow up - but aggressive: she's all bared teeth/blazing eyes, chasing and clobbering Cruz around the ring. Pene able to reorganize behind her jab - regrouping midring and poking Winona into compliance. Ryder's trademark ferocity gives her the first as girls exchange snarling insults at bell.

R2: Fully recovered Cruz shows her class - boxes the bottoms off Ryder this round. Pene: back straight, chin up; feet light, tap-stepping clockwise, turning 'Noni's right flank; black ponytail tic-tocking across her upperback. Pinging, poking straight lefts and rights - Cruz drawing a bead on Winona's face, extending punches, keeping Ryder well outside. Winona facing into punishment, taking knocks: Cruz jab-jabbing and tic-tac-toeing to her heart's content. Beautiful to behold - like a Spanish battle-barge session as Pene flits around her girl, tapping away on Winona's brows, cheeks and mouth. Accumulation of rigid, stinging knocks takes its toll: Ryder finally stumbling to all fours as she's trying to close - taking clever lefts and rights instead as Pene proves agile/effective punching in retreat.

R3: Cruz continues to punch at 'Noni: circling the American in brisk pivots - jabbing her - tapping away crisp, straight left/right/lefts. Cruz pretty much head-hunting - occasionally featuring a saucy triple jab to Ryder's jugs while pivoting-left.

R4: Winona lumping up nicely, but taking Pene's punches well: American pawing with her left, prowling forward in flat-footed crouches to launch heavy overhand rights. Cruz struck upon her shoulder, grazed upon her brow by Winona's desperate strokes: Pene backpedalling, showing those marvelous Spanish legs as she bounds away from trouble. Ryder the aggressor, stalks and slugs for points, but can't land flush enough to hurt Pene.

R5: Cruz extending prettily on her punches: back straight, lips pursed as she pokes away at Winona's startled face. Tic-tac-toe lefts and rights knock and nibble at Ryder: Pene punching 'at' her foe, not 'through' her - so Ryder able to take series of punches here - but Winona being frozen by the impacts, allowing Cruz to shift positions. Pene at her prettiest: outclassing a flat-footed girl midring, being swift and busy for more Euro-style points.

R6,7: Cruz settling into a rhythm: uptempo, lively stepping, peppy 3-beat combos in straight lines to Winona's swelling face. Cruz' dark eyes alight, dancing as she treats herself to Winona: Ryder busting up, grimacing, trying hard to work herself into position but being deftly sidestepped and turned midring. Cruz an able matadora in these rounds: touching and tapping away for more nibbling points as poor Winona settles for grazing once-in-a-while haymakers.

R8: Winona has success. She's still pawing with the left, but now altering trajectory on the right hand, swinging it sidearm to take Pene across her chest or waist as Cruz is leaning back. Pene still the more mobile of the two: when she can't have her way, she'll dance out of range and tap-step about - forcing Winona to give chase. Ryder aggressive, but unable to find what she covets most: Pene's suspect chin!

R9: Cruz poking away at Winona's face, indulging in cruel punishment as a tired Ryder leans forward to take. Pene smiling hard when she scrubs jug via criss-cross straight lefts and rights - leaving Winona speechless after each brazen strafing run. Heartbreaking stuff for Ryder: she's still in pretty good shape despite the puffy features; she's simply being defeats by the other woman's educated legs!

R10: Cruz closes the show pretty, stepping to spots, getting off crisp and scoring multiple, quick strikes against Winona's face throughout the round. Ryder stumbling from accumulation at this point: nose bleeding, eyes swelling. Pene just stitching in the punches, then motoring - Spaniard extending on textbook, straight licks in classic European tradition. Ryder wobbly butt down the stretch, gobbling a steady stream of leather. She follows Pene around, takes a pasting en route to the UD10 defeat.

AFTER: Cruz crowing, hugging her statuette and being all adorable for cameras. Ryder all scuffed up, eyes brimming with disappointed tears: Pene took the one big bomb that landed, robbing Ryder of her best chance for the win early. Pene's camp calling the win a solid 'foothold' on the FCBA beach: veteran scribes taking a wait-and-see approach as they've seen this number from Cruz before.

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