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20 May 2011 Penelope Cruz vs Kelly Hu

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 10 months ago

Penelope Cruz 06.jpg Kelly Hu 08.jpg

Posted by simguy on 5/20/2011, 9:13 am

BEFORE: Yes, Hu's past her best-by date, hasn't fought in ages, and her style hasn't aged well, but former pound for pound champ still poses a bad risk/reward situation for Pene...doesn't she? "I recognize the danger," Cruz allows in prefight, "but Pirates is coming out - I have already gunned down Knightley and I need to be in the ring promoting my movie. I have been pounding the table for Olivia Wilde, but she is a frightened little bunny - so I must fight the girls who are willing to face me!" Kelly stung by assertions her reflex-based fighting approach isn't translating well to a fighter in her forties...she's adamant it's not over. "If you look at my legs and core, it's obvious I'm stronger than I've ever been," Kelly says at podium. "I haven't lost anything on the speed side, so as far as I'm concerned, I'm better than I ever was, and my lack of activity has more to do with the gutless wonders in the bantamweight division than it does me." Kelly in black sport top; leopard print sport bikini bottoms; small black gloves; long black hair loose. Pene in black bra style bikini; small black gloves; long black hair gypsy-tangled.

During R1: Kelly in flat-footed closed stance - left shoulder pointed at Pene; left hand low; right hand at chest. Pene attacking via crisp left jabs - touching Kelly in the left shoulder/left-side ribs/left breast. Hu scowling - twitching the left hand like she wants to swat a counter-hook, but unable to pull the trigger. RIGHT HAND, PENE CRUZ! Pene pouring in over Kelly's left shoulder, smiting Kelly's chin...Hu stepping in fence post holes - torso tipping well forward of her feet. Pene jabbing to brown tummy; hooking full jug...Kelly slugged onto her heels, looking frazzled but rallying behind a swiping check hook to pre-empt a Pene pounce. Cruz crouching low - feinting - jabbing: careful approach-poke putting Pene into good position to spring sudden right hands onto the Hu chin, taking advantage of Kelly's rust. Bell: Kelly touched up, blinking...Pene showing terrific velocity, killer-instinct in taking the fight to Hu early.

R2: Kelly flat footed, closed stance - she's frowning over her left shoulder at Pene - waiting on Cruz, looking for counters. Pene sees the game, attacks behind a swift, smart double jab - ducking and bobbing on the spot. Swatting left hooks from Cruz take Hu in left tit. Right hands slice in over Hu's left shoulder, ticketed for chin. Kelly rolling punches with her left shoulder - dipping/twisting in her stance, but not very active - it's mostly Pene getting off in bursts, then stepping out to avoid exchanges.

R3: More Pene circling, picking her spots to close, get off rapidamente, then duck out. Kelly scowling, turning in her closed stance - Hu rolling/slipping a fair number of Cruz punches, but Pene's doing all the work, compiling touches. Cruz landing the odd right hands to chin over Kelly's low left, but most of Pene's hard points scored via batting lefts or rights to Kelly's waist.

R4: There it is: Kelly rolls a Pene right - answers back the super-cute bolo right uppercut and puts Cruz wobbly butt! Pene stepping in fence-post holes, jugs a-jumpin'...Hu hopping to, looking things over, then deciding a buggywhip right hand over Pene's left hip is the perfect torment for Cruz. Pene looking scolded, stepping away...Kelly walking her down, but unhurried - Hu just stalking hurt prey.

R5: Pene perks it up - doubling up the jab on approach, getting Kelly to tip defensively to her right. Pene swatting hook to left jug; swiping the lashing, sidearm right to Kelly's back...bright, spanking clap of Pene's gloves on Kelly's flesh putting a cramped look of complaint on Hu's face. Pene steps-right, turning Kelly's left flank: Hu turning to stay square but curling into Pene's swinging right hands when she does. Kelly stung - bending at the waist/changing levels: when she does THAT, Pene sidesteps-right and turns Kelly's left flank again. Like that - Pene working angles, turning Kelly into sneaky punches, landing good crisp sock body and head. Bell: bright smile Pene; Kelly lumping up, frowning, just not matching the pace.

R6: Kelly in closed stance, trying to edge in behind the left shoulder, get some push on Pene and fight from there. Cruz triggering combinations, peppering Hu about her breasts/pecs/head: Kelly bending and rolling-torso in the pocket - coming up out of the crouch to clip hooks to Pene's chin. CRUZ' LEGS GIVE A SHIMMY! Pene showing wounded eyes, stumbling to her right, bringing her hands up: Kelly over to the attack - fetching Pene a nice fat right roundhouse loud to left flank PAK! Cruz retreating wobbly-butt to apron, dukes cheek-high, but an inch or two away from her face. Kelly pouring in, teeth bared: Hu twisting into a POUNDING right to face, splitting Pene's mitts, knocking her back to ropes. Pene chops a tidy right, clipping Kelly's chin: both girls trigger hooks with Pene's landing first...THERE GO KELLY'S LEGS! Kelly swooning on the spot, but prepping a right from her hip: Pene twitches in another - harder - left hook, punching Kelly to chin and HU GOES DOWN! Kelly's legs giving way - she spills down and to her left, rotating to sled-in on her back. Pene frazzled, hair across her eyes as she's stumbling away...Kelly hands up over her head, moaning in shock, knees rising and falling as feet push at canvas and it's OVER! KO6 PENE CRUZ!

After: Cruz badly rattled, but victorious none-the-less...she uses her postfight platform to call out one name. "I want Olivia Wilde. One of us will own the summer, and so I want her. I have for years been the most talented Oscar-class actress in boxing; the most beautiful; but now I will be the Queen of the Blockbusters as well!" Pene's eyes alight with the glassy sheen of global conquest at her fingertips - gotta love vaulting ambition. As for Hu, battered-but-proud beauty stung by tweets just minutes after the fight from a brazen Jane Krakowski saying: "I'd beat Kelly Hu pillar to post!"