UNIFIED LIGHTWEIGHT TITLE

                                                                  (Poster by BI PHOTO LABS) 

Originally posted by Simguy on 6/21/2003, 9:55 am

Before: Daniel her usual brash self in interviews, dragging Hurley’s name through the mud and threatening a backside holocaust if she can stop the champ, but all boxing’s wondering how Brit’s going to come back after Garner’s savage, heavy handed treatment.

“I feel great,” Daniel insists, “I let down against Jennifer and she took advantage—I’d have done—WILL do—the same to her when the time comes. Hurley’s not in Jennifer’s class, I’ll chop this chick up and end the suspense for people who think I’m all hinky from the Garner thing.”

 Liz offering the challenge to spite stable mate Casta (who had signed offer and acceptance and is said to be seeking legal avenues of redress) and looking forward to testing Britney’s fragile psyche. “I think I’ll turn puncher in this bout,.” Liz tantalizes her fans, “at least early on—see if Daniel’s really all the way back. I would suggest not going for Guinness when the bell rings,”

Union Jack bikini Liz, Black bra style bikini Brit.

R1: Liz calm, right shoulder pointed at Brit, right hand at the chest, left at the hip—Hurley pawing loose jabs, occasionally swatting a long hook, just measuring, Daniel dukes at her chin, bobbing and weaving as she comes forward—takes her a minute to whittle down the ring, but then she takes over. Brittany nestled in tight, snatching at Liz’s ribs, bringing her fists back sharp to reload—good snapping body attack has the Brit ropeside. Hurley laying over on either side, rolling the punches, bending at the waist, but hard working Daniel outhustles the champ on points.

R2: Daniel stoked—coming at Liz hard, throwing startling lead rights, leaving her feet to lash in the hook—Hurley making too many defensive moves in a row, makes BD miss for a while but gets NAILED a hook end of minute 1. Liz shook up, leaning into the ropes, getting cute—Brittany smart, crouches, pounds her way into Liz’ belly, then stands up in the stirrups to get after those jugs! Hurley open mouth in shock has to clinch—Brittany bringing the crowd to its feet with a stirring rack attack. Rest of the way sloppy—Liz tieing up around Brit’s arms, making the blonde wrestle and writhe, spend up energy. Hurley supple against the ropes, laying in and smothering as much as she can.

R3: Liz back with a pesky right jab, dropping it hammer style from the elbow, sliding to her right, feinting the left cross to clout Britney’s ear a stinging right hook. Daniel snorting, seething, coming forward—brilliant Hurley defense as she slips low, letting Daniel overswing, countering her to the ribcage with a loose limbed, stroking hook. Down the stretch, Hurley backing up in good order—she has Daniel swinging wildly, missing amateurishly—Liz able to punch, lay over on one side upon follow through, then slash back the other way. Beautiful left cross finds Brit’s jaw—Liz following through to her right side, slipping Brittany’s left hook, then stepping back and CLOCKING blonde jaw the slinging right hook! Daniel stupefied, stumbling to all fours—confident grin Hurley as she struts to the neutral corner, looking down on Brittany’s glistening back. That’s why the lady is a champ—this thing tied after Brittany spends a ton of energy banging out a lead.

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\R4: Liz luring Brittany to the ropes, ch9in tucked behind that right shoulder, laying over on the left side to let punches skid across her upperback, looking for lethal counter-lefts out of the screened crouch. Daniel squared up and letting her hands go—getting dangerous for her as Liz starts to time the openings and HURLEY GETS ROCKED! Liz NAILED a shattering right on the face as she looks for the left uppercut—champ sits in the ropes, and BRITTANY PILES ON! Daniel glorious to the rack—hungry punching numbing the champ, bunching up her jigs in a furious flurry, then Daniel keys on Hurley’s chin! Liz dazed, butt back, face getting batted back and forth by a withering barrage of Daniel lefts and rights and THE REF STEPS IN! Good Lord—TKO4 Brittany Daniel!!!

After: Hurley a ruin—blood streaming from her nose, eyes awash intears, lolling unsteadily in the referee’s arms and Brittany D runs rampant in the ring! Good old fashioned go-get-em-tiger offense from Daniel—short punches in bunches, keeping Liz on the defensive and Daniel’s able to capitalize on a big right hand to end it. Janet Jones hugging Brittany of her feet then pointing at Liz on her stool, shouting for revenge—Daniel only too happy to comply.

A weepy, punch-sodden Liz shakes her head in protest as Daniel heaves her to her feet, roughly shoves her against the ropes and LIGHTS UP HER BACKSIDE LIKE THE 4^TH OF JULY! Daniel with a bloodthirsty grin, pounding away righty with big meaty claps—Liz’ arms crossed on the top rope, eyes clenched—she’s howling her indignation into the crowd. Spent, Daniel works her girl chest first to the turnbuckle, props Liz’ left leg into the ropes in parody of her signature Tech Unlimited celebratory position. Bad blood all around as Daniel loiters behind Liz, hands on the ex-champ’s hips and outstretched thigh, getting onto tippy-toes to yell taunts at Technetium officials and fighters ringside over a swooning Liz. Oh yeah, and say it with me: Brittany Daniel—Unified Lightweight Celebrity Champ-een! Oh the humanity.

(P.S.: nice call Tractorpull—following the master handicapper’s advice on this one would have made a pretty buck at the book.)

Reposted by Archer 4/12/09.