Charlize Theron vs. Stacy Keibler (rematch) by simguy 5-21-04

Been a long time since a cheese-eating upstart has baited, taunted, mocked and dogged Charlize Theron like this. Ever-grinning Keibler smacking something terrible in all prefight venues: the "I Beat Charlize" t-shirts; persistent rumours that Keibler defeated Charlize in an impromptu indian leg wrestling contest (hotly denied by Theron); the standing $20,000 challenge (Keibler will pay any woman who can last 5 minutes in her waist scissors - Theron supposedly shying away). "Charlize fears my legs," Stacy tells reports, sucking on a lollipop, "she does. She's finally up against legs she can't compete with and it's destroying her. It's not Charlize' chin I blew away last time out: it was her confidence. This time, I'm finishing what I started."

Keebs in electric blue bikini, Charlize in cream bikini.

During R1: Keibler grinning, making faces at Theron - Charlize flushed crimson already and rushing her offence in response. Stacy will step to a spot, set up like she's going to throw a flat-footed jab/cross, then leg away, back off, change distance - she's gangly and a little awkward, but her timing proves difficult for Charlize. Theron cutting off the ring, right hand held high, left hand low - she's breezy with the jab, sweeping with it, just trying to maneuver Stacy into a noggin' knocker. Inconclusive stuff - Keibler doing a lot more preening and prancing than punching - Theron unable to find a rhythm as Stace won't stay put.

R2: Similar stuff - Keibler standing her ground, then bouncing out, raising lanky arms to block, occasionally stepping and stinging that jab. Charlize doing a better job of whittling down the ring, and she's touching Stacy the jab. Little backhand flicks, zesty stingers rising off the hip, and a tapping little nuisance move - Charlize just touching Stacy in the forehead with the fingertips of the left mitt. Keibler a little bewildered, brushing away Charlize' left like a buzzing fly and THERON LANDS THE CROSS! Sudden bolt from the blue - Charlize bending in and down with a slobberknocker to the jaw - Stacy taking it with head-torquing force and she's RUINED! Keibler out on her feet, tilted forward in stupor - Charlize beaming, touching the lips with an extended, measuring left and POURING herself over Keibler's outstretched left to dent that chin another blistering right. KEEBS GOES DOWN! Stacy on her back, picking her head woozy off the canvas, left arm crossing her body like she wants to turn over, but nothing else is working. Electric KO2 - struttin' Charlize Theron.

After: So sudden and shocking - long blondes just negotiating one another, settling in, and suddenly Theron ends Stacy's night, essentially with one ballistic right hand. Charlize the picture of vindication, lifting her hands to accept the joy of her fans, then stepping over to a dazed and weepy Keibler to exact tribute. Little walk of shame to midring, Charlize guiding a shaky Stacy with a firm right hand around the waist - then Theron points to the canvas, demanding Keebs take a seat. Charlize joins Stacy on the mat, proceeds to initiate Indian leg wrestling and it's a heinous display as over and over again, Theron's legs force Stacy's numbed and KO'd legs down. Keibler too stunned to put up her best, lying on her back - she breaks down into defeated blubber as Charlize keeps at her, punctuating the brutality with chirpy bursts of "Ready? GO! I win again! Ready? GO! What's the matter with your legs Stacy?" On and on - Theron insatiable when it comes to this kind of thing. That's one torrid KO a piece - and we haven't seen the long, one-sided beating that would give us some solid answers here. Meanwhile: hard feelings piling up.