UNIFIED LIGHTWEIGHT TITLE

Originally posted by Simguy on 9/21/2002, 9:10 am.

Before: “I’m surprised how intense it is,” Garner says of the HISC/BSE rivalry. “I thought this thing was mostly Eliza picking on Britney and Jessica, but it’s gone beyond that. I’ve nothing against Catherine personally, but there’s no way I was allowed to slough off in training—we’re all expected to keep BSE girls down. In face, I’d say I had a tougher camp for this fight than I did for Theron.”

Jones also feeling corporate heat: “I was brought in to legitimize a fledging stable,” says Catherine in all modesty, “part of that, no doubt, involves delivering wins against HISC. So be it—there’s more pressure on Jennifer to follow Eliza’s lead than there is for me to make up for Britney’s shortfalls.”

CZJ in red bikini, low ponytail, Garner in navy beach volleyball two piece, white gloves.

During R1, 2: Competitive rounds, Garner taking them both with her legs, speed on the outside. Jenny sharp with the jab, peppering Zeta Jones with a constant banging torrent. Garner stepping crisp to her left, keeping Catherine in the middle of the ring. Jones with dukes up, looking to counter off the hook—but this rangy boxing is Garner’s fight.

R3,4: Jones with adjustments, gets more of her own way in 2 more close hears. Catherine able to catch Jenny’s jab in the right mitt, counter immediately with the short left hook in the tits or sternum. Once inside, Jones getting the better of blistering exhanges—Garner stepping out to relieve pressure, taking forget-me-not blows on her face in the process. Catherine pulls even on the cards—good brisk pace through 4.

R5: Jenny really stabbing that jab in--Jones with her hands up, leaning onto her back foot, unable to counter the mean stick. Garner with a nice move to reset: double jab while pivoting left—re-establishes her balance and distance as Jones leans on her back foot, looking gunshy. Down the stretch, Garner putting together lethal one-twos between the mitts—punches tearing through the defence, banging back Jones’ head and driving her wonky to the ropes. Catherine busted up ion the nose, looking frazzled as Garner gets to her with power.

R6,7: Close rounds again, but Garner keeping it in the middle of the ring, still dictating distance and pace. Jenny shutting down Jones rallies with that double jab, step left—Garner keeping the initiative, dropping in her short right hand and biting hook as Catherine’s output drops. Catherine maintaining a tight defense, blocking a lot of shots, able to gouge her counter hook to Jenny’s ribs, but Garner starting to impose her will after 7.

R8: Fatigue, fitness becoming a factor—Jones visibly wilting, slowing, looking to clinch for breaks—Garner upping the temp even more as she sees Catherine’s form getting soggy. Jones getting hit more often with clean jab—face banging back from hard stick. Garner able to spot that deadly right hand: straight between the breasts, on the teeth, down into the belly—Jones taking, cringing. Midway through, a whistling right on the chops, follow up hook on the jaw has Catherine stepping dainty—Jones clinching, busting up as Garner rolls to a shutout.

R9: Garner heaps it on: zest clockwise movement on springy legs, spearing jabs up the middle—Jenny just carpet bombing Jones with the stick as she circles. After the midway point, Garner starting to take it to Catherine with murderous right hands, caroming punches putting Jones ropeside, sick with hurt, Catherine’s hands high—she’s flinching, even partially turning away from incoming, Garner’s punishing right hand bouncing hard off pale ribs and stubborn belly—Jones buckling, starting to tilt after taking. Jenny smart even when drilling Jones at the ropes: champ jabbing from outside, stepping in from either CZJ shoulder to club combinations, then stepping back out behind the jab to regain her distance. Jones’ nose gushing, eyes are swelling shut—her beautiful face taking a terrible pounding—Garner happy in her work.

R10: Garner going at Jones with stitching one-twos between the gloves, then licking that ribcage with a snatching hook off the front foot. Jones ashambles, not breathing well, lumped up something horrible—she wanders to the ropes in a daze. Jenny pouncing off her jab, picks Jones up with the short right uppercut, puts the hook, right hand on top and Jones sinks to her knees in a fog. Cathy struggles up for a hurtin’ 8. CZJ fans appalled at the beating their heroines taking. Garner surging in, OH those hooks across the waist, folding Jones up. Jenny lavishing on the hurt, sharp, ripping blows across the back , up underneath to the overhanging breasts. Jones numb with punishment, lolling forward and back, taking a ransacking in her corner. A vicious Garner right cross spanks Jones out on her feet—brunette slumps, her right shoulder against the ropes. Helpless as Jenny rains right hands down the left side of the offered face. Ref steps in to halt the slaughter—TKO10 Jennifer Garner.

After: Jones battered senseless—Garner prancing in victory and she hauls a badly beaten CZJ to her feet for a heinous walk of shame—HISC officials nodding in approval, Jenny beaming, carting her ruined opponent around the ring—Catherine’s face glossy with abuse, eyes distant with humiliation. Very close bout until garner started to run Jones into the ground—Jones losing this fight in training camp as Jenny’s roadwork prevails in the ring. In-ring mill afterwards finds a bubbly Claire Danes patting Garner’s sweaty belly, congratulating her on a masterful performance—Eliza nowhere to be seen.

AFTER JENNIFER GARNER VS CATHERINE ZETA JONES

Posted by HISC on 9/21/2002, 9:53 pm.

Jennifer flanked by Claire and Estella Warren at post-match press conference.

“First let me say that Catherine was a fine rep for BSE and for herself, She can hit. I’m sure they’ve got to be happy with her performance. She did the best she could with what she’s got.”

“I just out-legged her and the stamina—well, you saw it. With HISC’s state-of-the-art training facilities and frankly my will to win, no one’s going to touch me on that score.”

“Beating Charlize Theron was something the whole division needed done. Tonight’s match was just for me. This was against a top-10 opponent and it showed I’m here to stay, settling in, ordering monogrammed belt-polishing shammies and picking out drapes.”

Assembled media confused over last reference, but none ask about it, and further explanation is not forthcoming. She IS queried about BSE travails against Consortium counterparts and about the absence of Eliza.

To wit: “I can understand how they’d be frustrated, They DO have a lot of fine prospects, but moving past the prospect phase is something that seems to be a big hurdle for them to get over. I know about Britney’s problems with HISC and I’ll let you talk to Eliza on that one. I’m not about to get into that can of worms. As for Eliza, I’m disappointed, but she says if Claire’s here, she’s not.”

Jennifer hugs the strawberry blonde close around the shoulder.

“But D-Train’s my main peep. I wish she wouldn’t make me choose, but if she does, it’s any easy one. And Estella here, she’s the next HISC champ, Just give her the chance and she’ll be explaining, the same way I am tonight, that the only thing the Consortium knows how to do is help its clients to gold.”

Claire whispers into Jennifer’s ear, Garner’s trademark dimples blossoming.

“Claire tells me…unless you’re Britney Spears. Remember I only said that for Claire. No harm, Brit…really, But I am saying this, the Bell/Theron days are fone. Lightweights, en garde.”

POSTED BY BSE on 9/21/2002, 7:10 PM.

“What the HELL do you mean she left?” Vinnie asks.

“She left,” Britney says simply. “Jones came in, grabbed her stuff and took off in a huff mouthing something about being fed to the wolves again by Bell.”

“That prima donna!” Jay Bell bristles. “All she does is whine that we don’t get her enough attention, yet we get her a primo shot at an inexperienced young champ and she blows it by coming in soft! I’m sick of her!”

“But what do we do about the press conference?” Vinnie wonders aloud. “The entire corps is in their licking their chops at taking Catherine down a peg. If we and especially she doesn’t show, the briefs will be brutal! And HISC will have a field day with all this! We just can’t cancel, can we?”

“No, we can’t...but we will. Let me think! I got it! Britney…you go let the reporters know that we are doing the Alba conference first, with Jones being the last of the evening.”

“But she is gone…”Brit stammers,

“MOVE!” Bell orders, hurrying the blonde out of the room. “Now Vincent…go get Jess and head down there. Really lay up Bosworth and how well Alba fought, but keep it short and sweet. We want them to have plenty of time to call it in before they figure out that CZJ isn’t going to show.”

“What are you going to do then?”

“I have to get a hold of Rachael and draft a press release capable of covering this mess. Jones has made us look bad for the last time. She just earned her walking papers…”

REPOSTED BY ARCHER 4/28/09.