Posted by simguy on 2/22/2010, 3:20 pm

BEFORE: "Jennifer's looking tired," Scarlett assesses in prefight, "scuffed up... worn out. I'm the tightest I've ever been thanks to Iron Man II: Jen's running into a freight train and she doesn't even know it yet!" Hewitt blase about Scarlett's flat tummy and amped cardio: JMD ain't about the distance. "I'll punch my way right through Scarlett," Hewitt predicts. "She's coming in light, and it'll cost her. I'm the hardest hitting JMD champ there's ever been, and Johansson's not coming away with the tiara. She will however, get a couple of consolation prizes that she'll never forget!" Jen in black bra style bikini; long brown curls; black gloves. Scarlet in black push up and panties with white lace trim; black gloves; coppery ringlets long and loose.

During R1: Scarlett out southpaw - right foot/right hand leading... she's shifting counterclockwsie, keeping lead foot outside jen's. Hewitt range-finding jabs, missing over Scarlett's left shoulder... Johansson abruptly steps in - head outside Jen's extended left; left hand haymaker streaming inside Jen's left - POUNDING detonation off Hewitt's face. Jen stumbling backward jugs a-jumpin...Scarlett hopping forward in stance, keeping right foot iin lead. Ropes: Jen ragdolling on impact; Scarlett leaning in, fitting Jen for another blasting left hand in the kisser. Johansson bodying up, stacking reeling Jen: SCARLETT WANTS JUG! Jen treated to fight's first hup-hup jackhammering: Scarlett up and in with authority - shoulders rotating, fists chugging. Jen blurting in shock, trying to lean forward: Scarlett throws left arm across Jen's throat, bodies back down into ropes. Johansson staying snug - right shoulder hinging against Jen's left: Scarlett placing thumping single-shot lefts into tummy or jugs - then cuddling up to smother receipts. Hewitt groggy, really sponging up thump, but seated in ropes and sluggish: she takes it one-sided from Scarlett, brightening Johansson's day.

R2: Midring - Scarlett moving counterclockwise in southpaw stance - pawing her right hand against Jen's raised left. Hewitt licking lips, trying to draw a bead: Scarlett lean in, collecting tart, single-shot clapping left hands heavy to jug. Johansson quick-pivoting to her right after jumping in on jug: Hewitt routinely pasted, then turning in confusion. At one point, Jen's left hand gets trapped over Scarlett's left shoulder as Johansson crowds in close. Wrapping round Jen's body with the left arm, Scarlett's got Jen's left stuck up in the air, exposing the entire right flank to pumping right hands. Scarlett laying on Jen at ropes in this posture, holding and hitting: ref eventually sorts it out, issuing his first warnings. Jen looks to jump in and get even - running herself onto a stubby left hand: Hewitt shook up, slumping into ropes, whereupon Scarlett pounds away zesty right/lefts on jug to bell. Jen grumpy, frowning, hugging throbbing breasts en route to her corner: Scarlett dishing out leather through 2.

R3: OH Jen gets clocked again - Scarlett jumping in against Jen's jab - Johansson's head outside Jen's left arm, Johansson's left plowing to face just inside Jen's left arm. Crowding in after scoring, Scarlett traps Jen's left arm again, hustling Hewitt awkwardly to ropes, then pushing off to let her have it. Scarlett sets up in close - right shoulder hinged inside Jen's left shoulder: short-shrug right hands beat Jen's ribs just south of jug; tipping forward, Scarlett muscles short left hands into Jen's heaving rack - redhead using her back and legs, no backswing. Shifting weight to left leg, Scarlett pulls her little right hook short across Jen's jugs; shifting to right leg, Scarlett stuff that short left hand back into rack. Jen: mouth open, long lashes fluttering... she's slumped against ropes in jug-shock - left arm useless in behind Scarlett - right hand up, but stopping nothing. Johansson operating smoothly - pursing her lips as she crams the mugging left hands in; biting her bottom lip when she rakes right hooks across... it's a Johansson romp! Hewitt's head lolling, thighs trembling... she's giving up too much rack... weakening... blubbering out loud... AND THE REF STEPS IN! Scarlett shrieking for joy as ref shunts her aside: TKO3 for the winner and NEW JMD queen - Scarlett Johansson!

After: Jen on her stool, woozy with defeat, getting pampered when Scarlett bursts in. Johansson grinning big, looking to party: she slaps Jen off her stool with a pair of clapping left hands. Jen seated upright on canvas, blinking: Scarlett tugs her up by brown locks; jerks her forward; rocks her up and back into turnbuckles via swinging left-arm European uppercut (Scarlett hopping on her left foot as she twists into the blast).

Jen: arms draped over top ropes in her corner, mouth open, lashes batting.

Scarlett: turning to her right, big-clapping out in front of her face, smiling out into audience; taking a moment to toss coppery ringlets back over her shoulders. She extends left hand to pat/press flat against Jen's conquered decolletage (pinky side up), shaking her head in a dramatic "No" gesture for cheering throngs. Scarlett's left hand then pats flat against her own triumphant chest... Scarlett nodding big, then raising the left hand thumb's up for crowd to see: cheering noise reaches jet-engine proportions. Then Scarlett twists, reaches right hand to Jen's left hip; PLOWS the left fist deep to Jen's tummy. Hewitt pitches forward "GUHH!"; Scarlett making her OH face out into the crowd, holding fist in against tummy as Jen falls into redhead arms. Moment's worth of shoving sorts Jen out: she's face-down in Scarlett-mounds, held fast by Johansson's toned arms.

Hewitt: hands on Scarlett's hips as Johansson eases Jen out of her corner, onto the ropes at Jen's left. Jen slides along rump-on-rope, guzzing jug: Scarlett biting her lower lip, cinching up, stepping-with. Eventually - with Hewitt's knees knocking... Scarlett releases, standing hands on hips as Jen sags into ropes on left haunch - back of her right hand wiping moist lips. Poor Jen swooning, eyes sleepy, half shut as she starts baby-stepping along ropes, her back to Scarlett.

Johansson playing to the crowd - big-clapping in the air, taking her time before leisurely walking Jen down from behind - pushing her against ropes, and mound-mounting her face again. MORE jug for Jen: this time she sits in ropes, guzzling, hands on Scarlett's creamy hips, taking it as Johansson leans her weight forward. Scarlett with left arm behind Jen's head; left hand cupping right bicep; right hand entwining in Jen's damp brown curls: we've never seen Johansson lovelier/happier. Jen's fingers hook into Scarlett's waistband as Jen's arms go limp, just hanging off Johansson's bottoms.

AGAIN: Johansson releases at the point of collapse, standing hands on hips, loving Jen's new look. Hewitt: butt-in-ropes; torso lolling; eyes shut; eyebrows arched high; lips parted. Eventually she slouches forward, putting hands on knees - brown hair dangling down either side of her face. Big-grinnin' Scarlett stoops, reaches underneath, pushing Jen upright by her chest to stack. Scarlett wipes her hands off big so crowd can see, then she's steppin' in again, fixing jug to face - left leg on bottom rope as she feeds Jen all-you-can-eat rack.

Poor Jen: hands pushing at Scarlett's dominant belly, or reaching up and behind Jo to pull at her shoulders. It's too much jug - Scarlett has position, has good facial-lock - just micro-adjusting her arms, cinching in tight as she can. This time, upon release - Jen's out, wilting down, pooling face-first at Scarlett's feet. Johansson hands on hips, gloating, looking down well satisfied with her achievement.

Scarlett moves to Jen's legs, pulling 'em to get Jen parallel to, and away from, the ropes. Jen fast asleep, left arm curling up over her head, the right hand snug in against her chest - slumbering face turned to her right. Scarlett sits on her haunches, straddling Jen's legs - hands on Jen's hammies for stabilization. Tossing coppery locks, Scarlett starts to work glute - her left hand braced on Jen's left hamstring while right hand pumps heavily into meat. Repeat drives - Scarlett's right elbow up dramatically, then plowing down into thick rump-meat PAK! Johansson working up a sweat, shifts to get the left hand some work - building up her pace, working Jen's glutes just to see the unconscious meatiness of it all.

Pace quickens - Scarlett now bracing herself with one hand on the canvas at Jen's hip, leaning close to pound in forearms to rump with the free limb. Change up: give it to Jen with the other arm. Left and right, left and right - Scarlett working Jen's glutes like an MMA ground-and-pound bag: SOMEBODY CALL SECURITY! Jen lying there out, body jerking in time to the pounding, her lips pursed in a boozy little bow. Officials finally manhandle Scarlett up off Jen - redhead grinning, toeing at conquered glute: oh yes, there will be a fine, Ms. Johansson; there WILL be a fine.

Postfight: Scarlett wearing tiara, the diamond studded JMD bra affixed over top her battle-bra - she's beaming. "Usually - girls in a JMD scrap go hog-wild on each other's breasts in hopes of overwhelming the opponent," Scarlett says all scholarly. "But that was the past - the dinosaur age when Jennifer Love Hewitt walked the earth. I find the quickest way into a girl's rack is through her chin: stun 'em first, then go to town. Like killing a fish in a boat - you know? It's the head first - stop 'em from slappin' around - THEN gut 'em. Easy!"