BEFORE: Serious case of mirror-mirror-on-the-wall for Lohan: everywhere she turns, she's reading Dobrev's prettier; Dobrev's more talented. "I don't care who this chick is," Lindsay snarks in prefight, "you don't just get on some stupid TV show and think you're ready for Lindsay Lohan. NuhUh: doesn't work that way. I'm slapping this chick down hard, and when I do, I want to read retractions from you clowns. Lilo rules and you know it!" Dobrev calm in her first fight-conference - deliberately contrasting herself with Lindsay. "Everyone knows Lohan squandered the chance to be a major fighting movie star," Nina shrugs, digging the dagger in deep. "Annalyne McCord shattered the Lilo mystique: now we're all just hunting her, looking to squeeze the last few drops of juice from her name. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm using Lindsay; that's how the game is played. We're built similarly, we'll be eye-catching and pleasing together...and then I'll knock her out." Special venue...outdoor, broad-daylight bout on board gigantic cruise multi-decked cruise ship. Ring set up poolside, with decks rising on all sides, allowing passengers to look down from walkways onto the action. Nina in two-tone blue bikini; white gloves; dark hair loose and long. Lilo in swirling hues of mauve/white/yellow/teal, white gloves; hair drawn up in tight bun.

Lilo's bikini http://slutexgf.com/blog/2010/01/04/lindsay-lohan-is-a-street-walker/lindsay-lohan-bikini-yacht-03/

Dobrev's battle togs: http://www.beautiful-girls.ws/celebrities/2010-01-02-nina-dobrev-bikini-candids-miami’s-south-beach-31-12-09.html

During R1: Crowd throwing streamers from 3 floors up - pool level forming a kind of courtyard in the ship. Lindsay aggressively at Nina - closing to hook her chest, club righty at her head. Nina ducking, coming back right uppercuts to jug, finishing up hooks: she's not afraid to brawl early. Lohan leaning in close, arms akimbo: she's shoving left hands into Nina's tummy; jamming rights into hip/left flank - that right elbow out to the side as she pumps. Nina baring teeth, shouldering Lohan off, then leaning in to smite her righty. Dobrev clever - reaching her left hand to palm Lindsay's bicep before bringing the right across - turning Lilo's head aside. Pleasing, gangly trade - trim bodies pounded, pretty faces clouted...Nina's competitive but this is Lilo's bread and butter.

R2: Same again: girls anxious to hit each each other. Lohan with all the highlights: stiff jabs knocking back Nina's startled face; clean right hand punching across Nina's mouth; slender-limbed hooks skidding across Nina's breasts. Lohan crowding, hands low, elbows out to either side: she'll work the body from this posture, shoving left hands into trunks/tummy; jamming rights into hip. Lilo's rough-house goes beyond the odd errant low-blow: bony shoulder bumps find Dobrev's chest and mouth; forearm shivs routinely brace Dobrev's biceps as she forms earmuff. Nina buffetted and bumped around the ring: Lilo not using her boxing, just stepping-with and working rangy. Bell: Nina gasping, disheveled at ropes...Lilo leans in from brunette left flank, digging the right elbow tip backwards into Nina's tummy! Grunt of pain, Nina - she doubles up in shock; Lohan snarling, looking like she might shove a right hand into Nina's left side as ref moves in; crowd roaring at the Lilo-show through 2.

R3: Lilo wading in, tucking left hands into Nina's tummy, then hooking her tits as Dobrev's stumbling backward. Nina bending forward, trying to slip shots: Lohan swings a sidearm left, catching Nina awkwardly on left side of her face, knocking her backwards and almost down. Lilo pursues to ropes - swinging hook takes Nina to tummy, winning a grimace; sweeping right hand wraps round shoulders as Dobrev's ducks inside the punch to clinch. Rangy girls stumbling, pushing - both lap mitts to fat-free tummies rather than wait for ref's break. Separation - Lilo gets caught a hook to chin as her hands're low: she's startled, punched back on her heels. Nina leans in - left hand palming Lilo's right bicep even as the right hand drifts across Lohan's mouth: Lindsay belted sideways, stumbling into ropes. Nina wading in, teeth bared - again she moves in to reach left hand to Lilo's right bicep, paving the way for a drifting right to face. Linds rocked into ropes, eyelashes fluttering: hands're stacked right atop left at her body. Nina enraged: right arm shivering as she whacks Lindsay's flank a sidearm right; left pushing into Lilo, straightening her at ropes. Right hand caroms off Lohan's forehead, stunning her: she loosens, slumps in ropes, hands dropping. DOBREV WANTS JUG! Nina reaching in, pushing Lindsay's thin arms away from her bulging melons, then POURING ON THE SHELLACK! Nina leaning in, PLOWING righty across those big balloon puppies - pushing Lohan upright, then stroking her left across the jugs. Linds blurting/gurgling/snivelling in shock - this just isn't the way it's supposed to be. Crowd squealing, Lindsay reeling - what a pasting! Lohan's jugs flopping about completely subjugated...her head lolling, taking the odd clout as Nina mixes it up...flat tummy bunching and cringing as Neen takes the time to pack in shoving lefts. It's all too much - slender-limbed shellacking puts Lilo out - she takes a dozen extra punches head and body before sliding forward past Nina's left shoulder to hit the canvas. KO3 Nina Dobrev - ref has to bundle her back as she's seething with KO lust and looking for more Lindsay.

After: Lohan rolled to her back, gently tended to: disasterous defeat to a rising star very similar to the McCord debacle - Lohan simply has to reverse such decisions or risk being replaced in the space. "I didn't even get to show my boxing," Nina laments in postfight. "I've got good skills, but she was crowding me, punching my trunks, fouling me...I just wanted to smash her!" When asked about the decisive jug mugging that seemed to wither Lindsay's spirit - Dobrev is coy. "I don't consider myself a jug-mugger...but she just made me so angry. When they went on sale, I scooped 'em up!"