Charlize Theron vs. Jennifer Garner (VII) by simguy 4-23-05

[A year TO THE DAY since their last meeting - a stunning KO6 Theron - these two classic warriors strap on the gloves once again]

"I can't help but feel partially responsible for what happened to Jennifer against Kelly," demures Theron in prefight. "I mean - it was me who exposed Jennifer with right hands, me who showed everyone how to get after Garner and really treat her shabby - Kelly Brook just copied the blueprint. Personally, I got a kick out of the smother-fest Brook and Ryan put on Jen - I think the criticim has been blown WAY out of proportion. If a girl can't back other girls up off her, they take what they want - it's the law of the jungle baby!"

Garner brave in the face of lingering humiliation from the Samdog JMD romp - decisive victory over Theron would go a long way to soothing the still-throbbing hurt.

" 'Law of the Jungle'," Jennifer repeats slowly, as though deeply considering the concept. "I'll have to remember that Char - I really will. Maybe a little jungle justice'll come your way after I knock your over-rated ass out, hey? What do you think?"

There it is then: Charlize in cream bikini; Jennifer in neon blue bikini, bra strap top.

Rd 1: Theron feinting, waving the left hand, then drifting in a slingshot right hand on jaw, easing onto her back foot to draw a swiping hook across Garner's mouth. Jen staggering forward, rocked in the opening moments - Theron drills her another tasty right, eases backward with that supple, stroking hook chaser. Jennifer pawing her own right, crouching forward and GOBBLING that sleek, curling Theron right uppercut - JENNIFER GARNER'S HURT! Jen reeling sideways into ropes, eyes glassy, mouth open. Theron pouncing with a savage grin: crashing right hand oily off her hip smashes Jen's face hard to starboard; slapping hook brushes Jen upright against ropes; back arched, Theron gets CLANGING right uppercut onto chin then bends left to pull a sweeping right across the cheek and GARNER GOES DOWN! Jennifer sprawling on her belly, up on her elbows parallel to apron - Charlize strutting past hands held high, baying at the crowd. Creaky, swaying 8 Jen G and ON COMES THERON! Charlize POURING it to Jennifer with lanky-limbed glee - Theron hands low, stroking away from her hips, clocking Jen about the ears, occasionally ripping the uppercut to brush Garner back. Jennifer dumbfounded, dukes at her temples - getting hit, reacting slowly, sluggishly to the impact. Theron greedily helping herself, going to that stout waist with shellacking lefts and rights; palming Jen's shoulders and leaning into robust right hands across the chin. Garner shelled relentlessly as CT works up a healthy sweat, long arms licking, lashing their way to a huge 10-8 romping first. Bell: Garner out on her feet, stupified, gloves still at her mouth as she sways numbly on the spot; CT chests up and bellows lustily into the face of her big-screen rival, letting everyone in the arena know who's boss.

Rd 2: The resilience of Jennifer Garner: belted and waxed last round - she comes out ragged, but regrouping. Right hand at her chin, left dealing out hard, scolding stick, Jennifer steps and pivots left, moving her head to get under hungry Theron right hands. Jennifer precise where Charlize is greedy and wild: brunette shooting straight right hands stab-and-retract to the chest, ducking down to avoid the receipt, pivoting to the side. Garner jabbing Charlize' face, then hooking her ribs, turning blonde right flank. By the final minute, Garner's got her legs back and it's Charlize looking a little harried: Jenny getting good, good looks at Theron's right flank, digging hooks to the body under that free-swinging right hand, making blonde pay for the priviledge of head-hunting. Good return of serve shutout - Jennifer working the body, keeping her chin off the table as Charlize squanders an early opportunity to pile on.

Rd 3: Garner doubling up the jab, upping the tempo - she's looking for straight right hands mouth and chest on Charlize, tidying up hooks as she pivots left. Theron on her heels, feet disrupted by the sudden abrupt combination punching and good head movement from her opponent - blonde right hands missing over the top and exposing Theron's ribs to thudding abuse. Midway through, Garner slips a CT right, digs a rapid left to the liver, doubles it to the ribs, quick-pivots left and bounces a vindictive hook off Charlize' kidney. Blonde arches her back, face stretched in pain, hand going immediately to the spurned lumbar region as she steps away queasy - ref issues fight's first warning to a smoldering Garner for that kidney shot. Theron on her bicycle rest of the way, lifting a stinging jab off her hip to slow Garner's pursuit - blonde boxing smartly to get out of the round as fight settles into tactical rhythm.

Rd 4: So much for tactics. Garner bobbing and punching in a rapid forward surge - she nails Theron a series of chopping lefts and rights as blonde backpedals - Charlize' head on a swivel as she hits ropes in disarray. Murderous barrage to waist crumples Theron forward - series of sawing right uppercuts cuts her in the mouth, brushes her back - Charlize is swaying in the wind! Theron stunned, long arms reaching for Jennifer's head to pull her forward - Garner standing in there, pushing Charlize' biceps back and POUNDING away to chest and ribs, determined to chop big blonde in half. Theron whimpering, groaning, blonde hair in her eyes, mouth open - she's lolling onto Jennifer, arms groping to clinch - Jennifer bobbing constantly, bumping and pushing off to create room and keep her hands free. Constant, non-stop punching from Garner - she's just AT Charlize, beating her, raking her, shredding her. Garner hooks pulping up tummy, hip and lower back. Garner right hands chopping short to chin, or clipping quick uppercuts or swiping vicious up under Theron's breasts. Nothing back from Charlize - she's windblown, taking - long, strong legs holding her up, but upperbody loose on her hips, tilting and tottering as Garner's fists crash home. Bell: Theron only dimly aware, groggily pushing a weak right cross against Garner's chest, slapping an even weaker left across Jen's mouth. Garner standing right there, hands at her sides, drinking in the sight of a shopworn Charlize as the ref moves in.

Rd 5: Dull, throbbing hate in both corners - water grimly taken on, instructions sullenly listened too - then both girls up off their stool determined to impose will this round. Garner at Charlize behind that ferocious chopping double jab, putting punches together on that Oscar-winning torso. Theron flat footed, wide stance - leaning forward to slide long right hands onto Jen's jaw, then leaning back to pull ropey hooks across. Jennifer committing herself to body punching, systematically robbing Theron of her legs, hammering at blonde strategic reserves. Charlize open-mouthed, but iron-willed, constantly head-hunting, looking for those fight winning right hands. Bitterly contested two way rampages bell to bell - Garner's getting the better of it, moving in and out on Charlize, not getting caught flush with those crosses and wearing out the golden trunk of her foe through five stanzas.

Rd 6: Theron with a feint, hesitation right hand bingo on the chin: not enough on it as Jennifer's walking through those shots now. Jen doubling her jab, bap-bapping Charlize' face back and standing her up mute in astonishment - brunette getting to blonde chest with impunity and tearing away with those rigid, muscular combinations. Theron beaten in stages to ropes - hands loose, limp up around Garner's ears, trying to control Jen's head - Garner amps the output, starts to REEF away at Charlize. Great, savage, right hands up into the lungs - Garner belting away 3-4 rights in succession, then shifting, bumping, getting her hips set to throw multiple hooks. Awe inspiring stuff - Jen's legs spread wide as she shifts and resets on Charlize, palming her upright to keep working underneath with heartless determination. Charlize drooping, unable to punch - sensational, heart-breaking body work just using her up and rendering her helpless - blonde can't fight back, can't clinch, can't get out of there - it's tragic! Garner feeling it, pouring it on - thudding brutality to the body gives way to intermittent uppercuts - Jennifer able to rock back Theron's head at will, putting her mitts all over the golden goddess. AND THE REF JUMPS IN! Charlize out on her feet, no longer processing her surroundings, mouth open - Garner lifts her mitts and shrieks in a rare show of hot-blooded emotion. TKO6 Jennifer Garner.

After: Theron getting ice packs and a tenser wrap around those badly battered ribs when JENNIFER BARGES IN! Garner still smarting from weeks of hateful comments from other fighters, including Theron's tactless 'Jennifer Garner imitation' on Letterman (CT doing the KO'd, startled face of Jen with the high eyebrows and open mouth: hearty laugh from Dave) - she's feeling the need to punish someone and Charlize just happens to be handy.

Left hand gripping hair at the back of Charlize' head, right taking a fistful of cream trunks - Theron is turned around and given the bum's rush out of the ring, landing on the floor mats in a crumpled heap of long blonde limbs. Jen jumps down all heavy athleticism, shaking out her triceps, rolling her head side to side. She bundles Charlize to her feet, gathering her up under her arms, then bodies her lower back into the unforgiving edge of the ring apron, arching Theron in a paralyzed curve of agony...

Garner hops up to a seat on the apron, reaching with arms and legs to gather Theron in, hooking her ankles to trap aching blonde ribs within the curvy, iron bulge of Jen's thighs, and Garner goes to work...

Tortured scream from Charlize as she feels the first pulse of Jen's legs - Theron with her back to Garner, hands on Garner's knees, blonde head thrown back in agony - Jen just working her, sitting back with palms on the canvas for leverage...

Charlize won't submit, even as tears flow - she slowly, grimly turns herself around to face Jennifer. Garner pulls Charlize in close, right hand round the back of the neck, left tieing up Charlize' right arm, just wrapping Theron up so those legs can work unmolested...

Charlize fights it. She's groggy, out of it, but struggling. She'll push down on Jen's quivering thighs, or wrestle with Jen up top, trying to find some way to push into the clear, or punch a fist into Jennifer's sweaty ribs. Theron's breath escapes in sobbing whimpers and breathy gasps; Theron's face mops wetly against Jen's chest. Garner holds Charlize by the wrists, holds her around the head, takes fistfulls of damp blonde hair, ties her up behind either elbow. Occasionally, Jen will hold Charlize in the crook of one arm while punching her short, nagging shots in the ear or cheek - just a moist, brutal cudgelling, dulling Theron's senses, punishing her for everything she's done, everything she might have done, everything she might do. Real brutality in Jen's eyes, in the tight, unforgiving line of her lips...

Theron's struggles grow pathetic - she pushes against Jen's arms, palms down on the thighs, but there's not enough strength left to oppose the brunette. Charlize flailing her arms against Jen's waist - limbs wrapping around stout torso, slapping wetly, ineffectually. And Jennifer keeps riding it, keeps pouring it to Charlize' throbbing torso. Jen's ankles lock and relock, constantly cinching up the grip. Jen's face damp against Charlize' forehead, brunette just managing blonde, torturing her. Charlize can tap any time - she just won't - not on national TV and not to a body scissor.

"I'll never submit to a leg scissor," Theron once told BLONDE! magazine. "Never - they'll have to carry me out before I'll tap to another girl's legs." That's just fine with Jen! Theron no longer moving - left side of her face tacky against Jen's quivering breasts, eyes closed, mouth pouted open against the flesh. Garner keeps at it, holding Charlize against her while her legs sop up the last drops of Theron resistance. Release: Garner's thighs spasm as Theron melts to canvas to sprawl in a steaming heap of conquered blonde - Charlize' arms unconsciously hugging traumatized ribcage as she curls onto her side, open mouth pouting moist against mat. Jennifer pretty for a moment, sitting on the edge, dangling her trembling legs, ankles crossed, hands on the edge of the apron as she smiles down at the wreckage on the floor beneath her.

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