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24 March 2006 Elisha Cuthbert vs Tiffani Thiessen

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 9 months ago

Elisha Cuthbert 12.jpgTiffani Thiessen 05.jpg

 

 

 

Part 1

Posted by Simguy on 3/24/2006, 7:15 am.

Before: Two girls on the rebuilding trail. Thiessen exposed, defeated last time out by a smart-sharpshooting Lindsay Lohan--buxom brunette vowing to make amends against the more straightforward Cuthbert. “Lindsay ran for her scrawny life against me,” Thiessen contends. “I don’t get paid to chase girls down, I get paid to punch them out. Elisha knows how to fight and she’ll be right in my wheelhouse all night long. I feel confident it won’t go long, and when it ends, Elisha will be on her back where she belongs.” Former champ Cuthbert under new management, champing at the bit to make a good impression.; “It’s no secret that with Rachel McAdams under the same roof, I have to look good every time out,” strong-legged blonde says in preflight, “It’s not enough to beat Tiffani--that’s the easy part. The hard part is beating her in crowd-pleasing, spectacular fashion that’s going to lead to more demand for my product. When I’m done with Tiffani, I want every fan in the joint to say: “When can I see Elisha fight again?’ That’s the most important thing.” Tiffani in hulking white sports bra, navy bikini bottoms, white aerobics shoes and socks. Cuthbert in Maple Leaf motif sports bra, then straps (halter style fit), solid red bikini bottoms, white aerobics shoes and socks. Hite gloves, both vixens.

During R1: Solid, buxom slugging midring, Girls squaring up at middle distance, extending on hard punches. Both bring mitts back to cheek level or brow level, but not a lot of head or torso movement: loud, ringing blows spanking off flank, clubbing ears and temples as both are there to be hit. Pair of right round punches on the jaw has Elisha stumbling sideways late--Tiffani finally making some headway into her blonde, backing her up with a walking barrage to salt away a ring-a-ding-dong first.

R2: More healthy, two-way wallop--both vixens again setting up at dangerous middle-distance: there for the full extent of the other’s power. Girls operating out of cheek-high guards, dipping and weaving in front of each other, taking turns getting off stout. Tiffani: bang-bang right/left on the body; jerk-left uppercut splitting ‘Lisha’s mitts. Cuthbert back with thumping rights in Tiffani’s flank, doubling up to catch Tiff a clubbing right on the ear. Both girls dipping and getting succulent lift on hooks up under the opponent’s right elbow: vixens grimacing, grunting, cringing under hard, hard body as both commit 100% downstairs. Thiessen separating herself late--slowly outworking Elisha, backing her up. Tiff able to make a pounding statement ion Cuthbert’s bra at the bell: thick, belting hook, hook, right hand, hook smashes away at maple leaf, forcing a breathless Cuthbert clinch.

R3: Thiessen wading forward: Cuthbert grudgingly giving ground as rib-rocking two-way continues. Girls bumping guards, tousles, stepping forward in strong, flat-footed stances. Fat, splashy bombs bursting on offending tummies, biceps, shoulders, flanks as girls pound away tit for tat. Both dipping and getting that vicious left hook up underneath protective elbow--backs arching into the blow, right feet sliding off the canvas as either girl harms the other with digging malice downstairs. Jugs under consistent, thumping attack as every assault is answered, and answered with vigor. And down the stretch, it’s Thiessen: she’s muscling Elisha to ropes, steadily bashing at the arms and ribs to open up tender tummy, jugs and overhanging chin. Cuthbert soaking up a delicious drubbing at the bell: strong-legged blonde dug in at the ropes, getting hoisted to her waist and picked up ringing on her chin. Thiessen breaking into a happy grin ar Cuthbert’s ramshackle swaying at the bell: ‘Lish looking pasty, frazzled, shopworn as she’s sent back to her stool 3 rounds down.

R4: Tiff pouring herself at Elisha, pressing the pace, punching with unabashed zeal., Bang-bang assault on the Cuthbert waistline continues--Tiff smashing away right/left, then looking to clean up left uppercuts or hooks up top. Elisha frowning, lumping up--she’s stumbling a little under Tiffani’s  heavy fists, blonde just trying to set her feet and answer back best she can. Midway through--vixens pitch rights, come back with lefts and DOWN GOES TIFFANI! Thiessen sprawling to her back, facer taut with pain courtesy the booming Cuthbert hook: Elisha chest-heaving, glaring down as she staggers back to neutral corner--blonde gets herself back nin the fight with a robust-punching fourth.

R5: OH THEY BANG AWAY! Crowd roaring after every clean uppercut picks up drowsy face and sends sweat flying. Juicy, thump-left hands deposited so thick and clean to waist downstairs--both girls crumpling forward under hot body contact, stifling cries of agony behind their mitts. Both take turns leaning on the other, walking her back; SO important to be the stronger girl tonight, both investing heavily in taking canvas away from the opponent, Middle distance has collapsed to moist inside fighting: girls forming a sweaty arch as they lean in tousle-to-tousle, grinding and rubbing away while treating themselves to one another’s torsos. No pitty pat shoeshining girls are putting punches together, yes--but it’s not rapid tapping; these are heavy, lugging blows being packed in down there. Cuthbert’s back to ropes late, lungs and tummy under heavy fire, but she come sup hooking to chin and buckles Tiffani’s legs at the bell as Thiessen falls into willing blonde embrace at the bell.

Thiessen/Cuthbert conc.

Posted by Simguy on 3/24/2006, 7:16 am

R6: Ramshackle vixens slouch off stools, slink to midring: eyes’re hollow, lips parted as this thing takes on plodding, last-woman-standing air.  A little more wriggling and arm-writhing as girls fall in, wrestle around. Bodies are walked to ropes--girls straining to reverse position on each other, slowly tumbling along the ropes in sloppy clinching. Both work out of the wrap this round, riding a left arm across the opponent’s upper back to slump her forward for pumping right hands tummy and jug: sloshing, sweaty work as first ine, then the other works her opponent over at the ropes, Ref’s breaks push hard-working bodies apart: girls blink in stupor, backsides wobbling, then they fall in again, When one reaches ‘round the other’s back to rest--the other digs right hands in above offending hip, punching mindlessly, wanly at the other’s body until reefing ref’s break. Bell: exhausted vixens trudge to stools, ashen-faced with hurt.

R7: They’re on autopilot: step to the foe; lay in with her; hoist to the body; clean up on the chin; repeat. Fight meanders around the ring, burbles along the ropes as girls fight like angry conjoined twins. Both adept at shortening up stroke--nice cuffing and swatting blows in addition to those hearty, full-blooded hooks downstairs: both beauties bruising up nicely hip to head. Final minute, Tiffani depositing glorious repeat right hands to cuddly blonde paunch cramps Elisha up, sits her groaning in the ropes. Thiessen mindless, pushing in with her right hand to clear away Cuthbert’s body-hugging left, then pumping in more rights amidships and ELISHA DOWN! Cuthbert weepy, cringing on all fours: exhausted Thiessen totters to neutral corner, stretching arms out on top ropes to away Cuthbert’s 8.

R8: Cuthbert trudges into Tiffani’s rack, making early headway: walking bombardment if shirt, clubbing lefts and rights have Tuff Tiff pouting with jug-hurt. Thiessen rallies off the topes, thumping her way into Cuthbert’s stomach, then working up-torso to payback blonde jugs: Elisha clinching as tears erupt, spilling down pale cheeks. Tiff rolling Elisha up on all fronts: blonde walked to ropes and systematically abused--Thiessen smashing away workmanlike at the head, shoulders, ribs of her foe while Elisha rotates her torso off the ropes, Bludgeoning one-sided brunette round--Cuthbert’s curvy legs holding her up, but she soaks the kind of pounding that puts a lot of girls on their knees this round. Thiessen weary, but happy, nodding confidently to her corner as she approaches: Cuthbert rickety, bracing herself with a hand on the top rope as she minces back to her corner on trembling legs.

R9: Tiffani grinding in--she’s on top now, taking the fight to Elisha at the ropes. Blonde shutting down: eyelashes fluttering, lips parted moist--she’s leaning forward behind her gloves, soaking up punches and doing a lot of clinching as Tiffani keeps the beat. Thiessen just thick mitted and heavy handed--sloshing the hurt to Elisha, bodying up, smothering--juicy stuff bell to bell as brunette burdens blonde at the apron, Jug? Thiessen’s plundering now: poor Elisha can’t keep brunette fists off her.

R10: Tiffani pouring herself at the dregs--walking Cuthbert to ropes; pushing at her; riding the guard into her. Elisha sullen, hunching forward and packing short, moist rights and lefts into Tiffani’s brazen torso--both girls managing to muster frightening heft on body blows even late in a draining fight. Midway through, girls huddling together, snatching at straining midriffs: Cuthbert jerks  a short right uppercut to chin, picking Tiff’s face up and ELISHA PUTS THE HOOK ON NTOP! DOWN GOES THIESSEN! Jolts shots through Tiff’s chassis and legs as she soaks the hook; she collapses straight down, then reclines on her back and it’s OVER! Tiffani whimpering incoherently, all KO’d and helpless, knees flopping side to side as she tries to rally, Exhausted battered Elisha limps away the KO10 victrix!

After: Sensational slugfest sees both proud women beaten to rubble: Cuthbert outlasts her foe in a thrilling test of will. “It’s the hardest I’ve ever been hit,” Elisha mumbles in post fight, clearly still out of it. “Tiffani came to fight tonight. I don’t know where I got the strength--she has me out so many times, but I just wouldn’t give it to her. I gave the fans what I promised, and I promise more of the same: when you plunk down PPV bucks for an Elisha Cuthbert fight, you’re going to get satisfaction, end of story.”

Reposted by Archer 7/6/11.

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