Part 1

Posted by Simguy on 4/25/2003, 6:44 am.

Before: “I don’t know who it hurt worse when I battered Eliza,” Elisha ponders on the podium, “Spears or Dushku. Y’know--ever since I got into boxing, people have been telling me I’m just a Britney knock-off, a Britney ‘type’--I got real sick, real quick of hearing her name. So I gave Eliza a beating and scuffed up the Spears mystique while I was at it. Then I gave Tiffany Thiessen a beating--a girl who had pounded Britney not so long ago. Then I bullied Jolene Blalock/Piece by piece I’ve isolated Spears, tearing down the IMAGE of Britney with my victories. Now it’s time to move in and finish the job and soul!” Spears shaking her head throughout--she’s got some revelations of her own for Cuthbert. “I thought Elisha would be happy to know that I AM taking her seriously, even if no one else does, I’ve gone out and mended some fences with an old friend who knows a thing or two about taking Cuthbert apart. Someone who can fine tune my sparring for this fight. Jessica? Jessica Alba? Where you at girl?” Curtains part--Alba strides on in, winking mischievously at Elisha--red-faced Cuthbert almost bolting out of her chair. “I’m more than happy to work with Britney on this fights, says Jessica, making sidelong glances at the fuming Cuthbert.; “If I can’t get this overblown blonde on the ring myself, the least I can do is help turn an easy fight for Britney into a full blown massacre. Get ready Elisha, ‘cause it’s comin’!” Elisha in black FHM bikini, Britney in red and white vertical stripe bikini. Cuthbert going nose to nose with Britney during staredown--Spears shoves her off--proceeding delayed while order is restored,.

During R1: Cuthbert charging the ring, tackling into her corner, setting up rugged, all bodied up. Spears supple, relaxed . Trying to edge her left shoulder into Cuthbert, nudging her back with it, creating little opportunities for counter uppercuts and cuffing hooks. Elisha constantly pressing up on Brit, crowding her at the ropes. Cuthbert hauling in cruel punches to belly and breasts, following through with forearms, smothering the receipt as she keeps her body on, Sweaty struggling iin close--Spears selective, finding her girl’s chink, but she can’t back Cuthbert off--Elisha wearing out the tummy keeps writhing and squirming on Britney after the bell, forcing referee intervention.

R2: Cuthbert wading back in, palming Britney’s biceps, scrubbing her up with the forehead rub, getting her butt and back to the ropes, Cuthbert landing some withering body shots--really tearing up the Spears ribcage and ab region, but Britney giving it back in kind. Brutal war of attrition at  at close range, girls in constant contact, taking turns walloping luscious jug, or sinking hook to tummy without remorse. Even trade downstairs for most of the round--Spears separates herself late with crisp, alternating uppercuts to fight her way off the ropes. Cuthbert catching clean, getting her head snapped back--she’s breaking down, fielding hard punches as Britney bangs her to midring, scowls meaningfully as girls make eye contact after the bell.

R3: Britney’s corner begging her to box--she goes right out there, shoulders-up on Elisha and two cuddly blonde swap leather at point blank range to the crowd’s delight. This is heartless give and take--pain-wracked bellies getting thumped, jam-packed bikini tops getting clouted. Girls reaching under each other’s arms to brawn the opponent back, then savaging her a hook or chopping right hand. Both effective at touching the body, then immediately coming upstairs--nice compact deliveries, pressing up0 to smother the receipt. Blistering hardhearted trade meanders around the ring--girls leaning in with each other, neither letting up bell to bell.

R4: More senseless trading--Janet Jones loving it, screaming “Work!” at her girl--Spears’ corner less happy with the way their girl is buying into the slugfest. Cuthbert a little busier, a little more effective, often muscling Britney to the ropes, hopping to one side or the other to put banging punches together off either Spears shoulder. Brit covering up, toned gut just putting there as Elisha dips her shoulder and cranks 2 or 3 hooks right to the pudge, and there’s no let up at the bell. Cuthbert still pounding away, pressing up, struggling under Brit’s arms, then ransacking those front-page jugs. Spears screaming “Get OFF!” in outrage--ref jumping in--Elisha licking her lips and taunting as she’s pulled away.

R5: Britney wades in, steps out,  pokes a lead right and walks around Elisha’s left shoulder--Spears finally starting to give her opponent angles. Elisha falling into ck-step behind Spears, trying to body up, but Britney’s not cooperating any more. Midway through, Elisha reaching in to get close--Spears with a half step back, walks her girl into a clanging right uppercut--Britney sidesteps as a hurt as a hurt Elisha Cuthbert sputters face-first to the ropes. Spears now the bully, reaching in to push Elisha’s arms back, shouldering her girl upright, then dig-dog-digging to the stomach, coming off the abs to sock that sack with herky-jerk, tight uppercuts. Elisha’s eyes brimming--arms extended in pathetic attempt to keep Brit off her, but Spears is relentless. Savage, non-stop punching--one blonde stacking the other up and bashing away--it’s all too much. Cuthbert sinks to a blubbery single knee--Spears stepping back and staring down with bloodlust--ref has to body her back to enforce the count.

Spears/Cuthbert II

Posted by Simguy on 4/25/2003, 6:45 am.

R6: Britney relaxing, imposing her will--she’d got the right hand cocked at her chest, left hand low, walking to the right, stopping, potshot ting Elisha semi-screened right hands, then sidestepping to the left. Cuthbert tightening up, hands at her cheeks, elbows in--she’s try to get close and work, but Spears won’t stand and trade. Britney in control with her legs--she’s jabbing Elisha to chew up the clock, using the ring, picking her spots to drop that right hand hard on her foe.

R7: Britney in charge--Elisha still stubborn and determined to get on top. Spears able to circle right, jump in with lead right potshots--she’s swinging it wide to Cuthbert’s gut, or straight between the mitts to bang back Elisha’s face. Elisha swatting at Britney’s jugs, trying to coax Spears back inside, but Brit stays disciplined, only closing when she can sheer in off an angle, get off before Cuthbert’s ready.

R8: same thing--Elisha getting some stroking touches along Britney’s ribcage, but Cuthbert waiting her turn, unable to sustain those long draining exchanges that characterized the first half. Spears often dropping her hands to her side, showing Cuthbert either shoulder, then lifting punches straight from her thighs to Elisha’s face, dipping, pivoting and leaning away from the receipts. Britney light and pretty on her feet, dancing to a spot, slapping and drilling, then escaping as Cuthbert lumps up through 8, Elisha thoroughly flustered, whining on her stool--Janet grabbing her chin and hissing instructions right into Cuthbert’s face.

R9: Britney jumps in her right hand, scoring to Elisha’s eye, following through close to  smother, but steps out lazy--Cuthbert stepping with and RAKING Spears ribs just under the elbow. Britney cries out, legs giving a little jiggle--she has to cover up and stand in the pocket as Elisha hops on board. Spears calm, cool and professional--she moves her head, uses nifty shoulder bumps on Elisha, sidesteps around while staying in constant contact and but by bit, Brit eats Elisha up ion the inside. Very mature Britney Spears in these moments, shaking off the hurt, blocking a lot of Cuthbert shots and fitting her fists into vulnerable Cuthbert gut, jugs and chin from in close.

R10: Elisha closing to brawl early--but Spears takes her apart with a masterful first minute. Britney jabbing ass they fall in--she gets ‘Lishy covering up, reaches the left hook around to nibble at the liver as Cuthbert bends forward. Spears with the little left shoulder bump, extended left elbow nudge, then a clouting hook on the ear--Cuthbert getting caressed and clobbered, unable to come out of her defensive crouch. Spears opens it up--bumping up the left shoulder, twisting in the short right hand to belly. Sidestepping with a left on Cuthbert’s shoulder, then picking Elisha up the outside-in left uppercut. Britney lighting ‘Lishy up, then crowding in, leaning out--she’s pivoting around, changing distance, slipping shots and harming Cuthbert body and head with that left shoulder and shoves her back. Cuthbert bewildered, on her heels; wide left hand, snapping straight right square off the face and CUTHBERT GOES DOWN! Elisha spanked onto her backside at the ropes blubbering as she tries to climb the strands, but SHE CAN’T GET OFF HER BUTT! Britney Spears struts it up--KO10 Spears.

After: Shellshocked Elisha Cuthbert--blubbering tears of denial, handed rude defeat by the girl she’s obsessed about for years--it’s a hard pill to swallow, Spears pumped up, looking fierce as she gloves are removed--vindication for a boxing superstar who’s been under siege of late. Spears strutting around the ring, slapping at her firm belly as if to say “You Can’t beat me down there” as Cuthbert looks on. “She tried,” Britney says on post fight, “she gave me everything she  had, But how many wannabes do I have crush before girls stop wading in to work my body? I fought HER fight in the first half, just to break her spirit, show her her A game wasn’t going to be good enough, then I just opened it up. The speed, the legs--she couldn’t handle any of it. After I knocked her down, I just took my time, did her up right.” Decisive Spears victory only muddies the bantamweight picture, with top contender beating each other, nobody able to emerge dominant out of a very competitive crop.

Reposted by Archer 6/7/11.