BEFORE: "Why would I be jealous?" Jewel answers a question with a question in prefight. "I've been where Taylor is now; I've had the big career and awards and huge hits - Taylor's not doing anything I haven't done. But you never saw me hyping myself in the old days - not the way Taylor is. Her people are calling her the New Charlize Theron if you can believe it: it's ridiculous. No - it's not jealousy driving me at Taylor: it's the voice of reason. I just feel I need to douse this chick before things really get out of hand!" Swift passing up challenges from Faith Hill and Carrie Underwood to make her debut against Jewel: why? "I want to open with a win," Taylor shrugs. "I don't want to just make a bunch of curiosity money in the FCBA: I want to do it right; build myself up and take Carrie out back the woodshed once the time is right. Jewel's a legend in our industry, and great careers are built on the backs of busted legends: can't wait to start chippin'!" Jewel in pretty mauve bikini; white running shoes sans socks; white gloves; slick ponytail. Taylor in gold bikini top, white bottoms; white shoes no socks; white gloves; golden ringlet loose.

During R1: Taylor upright; right hand at chest; left slightly extended, obviously poised to poke. Jewel advancing in frame guard: right hand cupping her temple; left guarding her chin; elbows in tight to body. Taylor pumps stick: it's a pushy poke, tapping at Jewel's prepared defences. Jewel blocking, then stepping in, thrust-jabbing her own left from her guard, stabbing into Taylor's chest, shaking her. Shorter Jewel able to outjab taller blonde with stiff, well timed delivery: Swift chased to ropes. Jewel stationed off Taylor's bow - chopping the jab in, then dropping the heavy right: Swift spooked - starting to cover up earmuff. Jewel making her reads - attacking the earmuff look with hooks in behind right elbow: thumping leather warping willowy Swift torso, winning breathy grunts from her. Time winding down, Swift absorbing to the body tries to right-uppercut her way off ropes: Jewel's been waiting for it - dropping a tidy right cross onto exposed chin, unhinging Taylor's knees. Swift ragdolled into ropes, then down to all fours at bell: Jewel turns away all business-like, marching briskly to corner.

R2: Taylor reminded to use her long legs: she steps to her left, attempting to circle Jewel. Kilcher showing that sturdy frame guard, walking her girl down, blocking and walking through Taylor's pushy poke. Swift dropping the right to her hip and trying a rickety uppercut: Jewel immediately pre-empts via chopping, straight right hand, turning Taylor's chin and blowing her backward to ropes. Jewel quickly in, crouching low to evade swishing Swift lefts and rights: Taylor's punches brushing harmless across jewel's upperback. Kilcher twisting torso-right to haul thick left hook into Taylor's waist: Swift sobbing aloud, shook to her body. Jewel stay in close - twitching side to side, pulling haymakers into long, sinewy Swift flanks. Taylor pulling Jewel behind the head, trying to tie up: Kilcher standing up in the grasp, fighting off taller woman's chest. Steady, brutal work from Jewel: she chugs away at breadbasket, then comes up top, attempting to loop haymakers 'round Taylor's extended arms. Swift's limbs partially block incoming, but she's still buffetted: Jewel just pushing in and brawling. Short girl stacking tall girl up and belting her: all Jewel as Taylor grimaces, pouts, and takes a beating.

R3: Very reluctant Taylor now loping the perimeter: she wants no part of Jewel. Kilcher giving chase - forced to break her frame defence in order to jog after fleeing opponent. Takes a minute - Jewel eventually able to body Taylor into ropes, secure her, then start to work. Swift cranky - trying to tie Jewel up behind the head or behind the elbows: Kilcher occasionally forced to wriggle her way into the clear. Jewel strong off Taylor's chest, digging and jamming at ribs/belly to avoid ref's breaks. Every so often, Jewel with twist to the side and loop powerful haymakers at Taylor's head: Swift rocked back over top ropes by even partial contact. Down the stretch, brawny Jewel left up top knocks Taylor sideways into ropes...Swift's left side against cables and both arms draped over top strand. Jewel unleashing - swinging a sidearm right into tender young belly, then bashing away at head/right shoulder. Taylor cringing, covering her head and crying out as bell sounds to end the carnage.

R4: Taylor plucky, but there's nothing on that little pokey jab of hers: Jewel marches through it, gets underneath and bodies her lissome prey to ropes. Kilcher just proceeding through her checklist: obtaining position; securing Taylor at ropes; working the body to loosen Swift, then swinging at her face. Swift's form badly degraded now - she's taking hard, flush punches against her face/skull - frequently ragdolling against ropes and looking shabby. Taylor's arms flailing and weak - no longer really impeding Jewel, just forcing her to push or punch her way through 'em. Kilcher strong on the spot, curvy legs holding her ground; buttocks ringing as she twists into clout, or pushes into Taylor to stack her. Swift beaten groggy, head lolling, lips parted by the bell: her nose is bleeding and some in the audience are screeching for a stoppage.

R5: Taylor rubbery legged, badly reduced: she's trying to sidestep, but Jewel's much too fresh to be outmaneuvered. Once again, Taylor muscled to ropes and abused: Jewel unhurried - systematically working the gut, destroying Swift's will to compete. Coming up top, Jewel's pounding away at Swift's head - blowing it back over top rope - clobbering Taylor hard enough to twist her sideways to the ropes, forcing Jewel to push her square again. Stop the fight ref: Taylor's eyelashes are fluttering; mouth open; hands just pushing and slapping or groping for Jewel's arms...it's just a Kilcher punching party at this point. Pounding right to jaw swivels Taylor's head, finally shutting off juice to her legs: Swift imploding straight down, sprawling onto her side, then rolling to her back parallel to ropes. Brutal KO5 Jewel Kilcher.

After: Kilcher with a cold glance down before strutting away: evidently, she didn't think much of being taken for granted by Taylor's people. "I'm a hundred-fight, expert fighter," Jewel reminds one and all in postfight. "Taylor Swift had no business being in there with me tonight. Now she's hurt, and probably ruined. Hope it was worth it, Swifty." Catty tweets from Carrie Underwood label Taylor's performance as "hapless" and "even worse than her singing!"