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25 December 2009 Minka Kelly vs Olivia Wilde

Page history last edited by Archer844 14 years, 2 months ago

 

 

Posted by simguy on 12/25/2009, 7:57 am

 

BEFORE: "You can go back and forth about our boxing skills," Olivia shrugs in prefight, "but I can sum it all up for you: sexy beats cute every time. That's it in a nutshell. Minka's got some stuff - not as much as I bring, but she can fight a little. But she doesn't set the ring on fire like I do. Girls like her just don't beat girls like me - in anything. I eat first, you know what I'm saying? I make girls like Minka wait their turn." Kelly looking slapped when she takes the podium. "Maybe Olivia's sexy," Minka allows, "if by 'sexy' you mean 'trashy'. Whatever - I believe the better woman wins - period. I don't have to be hotter than Olivia to beat her buns...although I guess I will be after I'm done!" The Minkster in pink bra and panties; tan UGG boxing boots to midcalf; small black gloves; hair in messy gym ponytail. Olivia in bright teal bikini top/navy bottoms with teal waist sash; white sneakers/no socks; small white gloves; hair in messy House-style ponytail.

During R1: Minka stolid; Olivia lithe. Minka pushing straight ahead; Olivia sliding off to either side. Minka planting hard on front (left) leg - leading stubby right hands to locate Wilde, then swiping across palm-down hooks to hurt her. Olivia showing closed stance (left shoulder pointed at Minka); right hand at chest, left dangling. All Wilde through 2 minutes: she's pin-pricking Minka, pre-empting her with lanky up-jabs; sliding away from Minka's lead right, then catching her slick right/slashing left combos. Kelly taking a pasting, hounding Olivia to ropes only to see Wilde spin out and leg to fresh canvas. Down the stretch, Minka punches right hand lead to Olivia's chest - misses the rising hook but moving Wilde to ropes. Olivia bendy-backed, supple in the pocket: she sets up against ropes, dippin' and rollin' as Minka bores in. Thump-thump right/left pounds at Wilde's waist; stubby straight right tries to find her face; brace of hooks scrapes across her front or digs into right flank. Oli content to slip and roll - bouncing into ropes; bending at waist to torso-roll; leaning forward and back in her stance. All very pretty n' slick, but late the round - Minka with a swiping hook surprises Olivia to chin, ragdolling her stunned against ropes. Wilde blinking in confusion when stubby right hand punches her face, driving her head back over top rope, loosening her legs. Minka in that sturdy stance - weight forward - buttocks quivering side to side as she pokes right/hooks left in rapid-fire sequences and WILDE GOES LIMP! Crowd screaming as favourite slumps helpless against ropes, hands in her lap, chin wilting to chest as Minka pounds away! AND THE REF STEPS IN! Good Lord - TKO1 Minka Freaking Kelly!

AFter: Wilde in glassy-eyed stupor, mumbling and looking around as she's guided to her corner: Minka all perky-shiny as she's mobbed and hugged by well-wishers. "Olivia's a slippery customer," Minka allows in postfight, "I knew she was faster and trickier than me, so I wanted to hurt her early and work the body. I accomplished both those goals, but I never dreamed I'd pour it on to stop her early. This is a great win for me: I definitely feel I'm better than Love Hewitt or Elisha Cuthbert now, and I hope I crack the top 10 as a result. Thank you!"

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