If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.
You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!

25 June 2010 Dani Fishel vs Kelly Hu

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 9 months ago

CELEBRITY BOXING AFTER DARK

Posted by simguy on 6/25/2010, 9:38 am

BEFORE: Future hall of famers square off for a bit of nostalgia...Hu generally written off by boxing media as shot goods, but wither Dani? "I feel like I'm rounding into form," Fishel explains, upbeat as always. "Kelly...when she first came in? She gave me a shocking beating - truly devastating. At that time, she was so fast and slick, she was basically untouchable. But now I don't think she's got the reflexes to fight out of the closed stance any more, and if she squares up on me...she's looking at a terrible night in the ring. The chance to retire Kelly Hu is on my fists right now - I just have to go out there and seize it!" Hu non-plussed, certainly not taking the podium like a woman resigned to her fate. "I'm not going to lay on the ropes and let Dani showcase, if that's what she thinks," Kelly smirks at podium. "I've got plenty left in the tank - my legs are the best in hollywood, and if my reflexes aren't what they were, they're still superior to 90% of the bimbos posing as fighters today. I know Dani's thinking in terms of gobbling me up, but the truth is, she's a stepping stone for me to get in with Nicole Scherzinger, and other girls who think they can step into my shoes. Looks like it's time for me to step up and break Dani's heart again!" Kelly in white quilted bikini with tan suede strings; white gloves; hair in ponytail with bangs framing face. Dani in gunmetal blue bikini; white gloves; dark hair full and bouncy. ASIDE: Kelly bringing in a number of ad hocs names to supplement her regular Ultimate sparring - including Kiana Tom (beaten into retirement by Dani, and still a motivated Dani Hater behind the scenes); Allison Mack (long time Dani buster, and self-proclaimed Dani-Dominator); Ashley Green (to spot Mack and add beef to the sparring line up); Elisha Cuthbert, Hilary Duff (filling out the beef rotation).

During R1: Kelly stuns Dani's scouting by assuming closed stance: left hand at hip; left shoulder pointed at Dani; right under chin; weight on right (back) leg to create artificial distance. Dani in peek-a-boo or crossed arm as she bobs/steps/weaves her way forward in herky-jerk fashion. Minute mark, clever-Kelly jab-jabs Dani out of her stance; slap/cuffs a hook to cheek; drills the straight right hand flat and flush to face, banging back Fishel's head, putting her wobbly butt. Dani hurt, stumbling, forming up behind ragged earmuff: Kelly hops-to - gets left uppercut off left leg to part Dani's mitts; gets right uppercut off right leg - then shoe-shines those mouthwatering tits to punch Dani ropeside. Withering paste-out follows - Kelly snarling, letting hands roam free about Dani's shivering jugs/brawny shoulders/available head. Fishel's sturdy legs hold her up, but she's cut under the right eye (not serious) and badly rattled. Fishel rallies late - brawling off the ropes via looping roundhouse rights and lefts as she ducks forward to haul 'em around: Kelly has to back off or be clobbered.

R2: Kelly back into Dani like a sewing machine - stitching punches into Fishel's already puffing face. Hu leaning in off her jab, chopping in short, swift right hands: Fishel frequently two-punched before she knows what's happening. Kelly steps right, claws come-along hooks across Dani's heaving breasts: Fishel turning as though raked. Right uppercuts for Kelly vicious and ripping off right (back) leg - picking Dani up as she's stooping forward behind her mitts. comprehensive stuff - Hu looking quick-n'-shifty: reports of her demise seem to be somewhat exaggerated as Fishel limps back to her corner for the break.

R3: Dani grimly pressing her attack to Kelly's forty-something ribs...Fishel bobbing in close, ripping hooks out of the crossed arm. Kelly grimacing, shying away...she'll clip back that sneaky right uppercut off the right leg, then put the hook on top as she retreats to ropes. Dani boring in, but Kelly shoe-shining off the ropes and spinning out: Hu refusing to be pocket-mauled by her hamhanded nemesis. Kelly's up-jab off the hip keeping Dani occupied - Hu able to circle, buy herself time to regroup as Fishel walks her down.

R4: Kelly's tide slowly ebbing...Dani's coming on. Fishel penetrating more consistently, fighting off Kelly's chest, forcing her to square up. Hu still fetching Dani clean right uppercuts to chin, but Fishel answering now - blasting away waist-and-ribs with both hands bludgeoning. Kelly mouth breathing, whining when grinning Dani slams short-arm hooks across heaving Asian jug: Hu's ropeside, fighting in the pocket late. Grim stuff: Kelly in earmuff, stooping forward butt-in-ropes...Dani getting into slugger's rhythm, using heels of her hands to push Kelly's shoulders, then whacking her beefy about the body. Bell: bright smile Dani: she's got Kelly groaning.

R5: Freight-train Dani finally arrives - pressurizing Kelly to ropes, shoving her into position, then pouring on the hurt. Brutal stuff - shorter, stockier lass in perfect position - pushing and mauling Kelly upright, then bashing her torso short, blunt blows. Clobbering stuff...Kelly's mouth wide open...she's virtually helpless as Dani keeps ragdolling her into ropes. Looping right off the jaw destabilizes Kelly halfway through...she stumbles to all fours, seething Dani looming over top until ref bodies her back. Final minute grim for Hu fans: poor Kelly slumping in ropes, hands at temples, sponging up hellish wallop to flanks/waist/jugs/ribs as Dani beats her without mercy. Slow, agonizing descent for Kelly late: she goes to hands and knees to relieve the relentless pressure. Bell: Fishel pushing up off Kelly all sweaty/beefy - ultimate bench up in arms at Dani's lingering presence on wilting Hu.

R6: Fishel pouring in...OH she gobbles that right uppercut from Kelly! Hu off her right foot, walking Dani in...pretty sidestep Kelly sends Dani crashing headlong into ropes. Fishel a-swoon - curvy legs holding her up, but she's badly stunned, blinking: Kelly's upon her like a pack of wild dogs. Fists like piranhas wash across Dani's front, beating her jugs into stupor - clapping her face side to side. Dani blubbering - pushing out her hands, taking tic-tac-toe combos flush and frightening. Crowd squealing as Fishel busts up, sits in ropes...Kelly seething, lips curled off her teeth as she asks her body for finishing vigor...AND THE REF STEPS IN! Good Lord - TKO6 Kelly Hu!

AFTER: Dani woozy, but horrified at ref's decision - pleading up at the man, stamping her foot in protest, saying "but I'm Dani Fishel..." to remind the mook how tuff she is. Hu preening - strutting about like a World Number 1 pound for pound again: glorious upset her best win in some time. "I hope Scherzinger was watching," Kelly says in postfight, "because until she's tested against me, she's just another ponytail looking for notoriety. Dani was putty in my hands tonight, which should be a warning to everyone out there that Kelly Hu is far from finished!"