Posted By Simguy 3/26/06

BOXING AFTER DARK (Main Event).

Before: Beckinsale shamed into the return bout with Loughlin—Lori waging a very successful campaign in nthe press to complain about her European experience against the British bombshell. “All I said was that I wasn;t given a fair shake,” Lori reiterates in prefight, “I wasn’t given the chance to be at my best, and I told LOOK! Magazine that me at my best would have been too much for Kate. That got the ball rolling and pretty soon I got the call from Kate’s people and here we are/ I give her a lot of credit—she obviously thinks she can handle me, and she’s stepping up. Lots of girls in her position wouldn’t do that.” Beckinsale stung by the criticism, anxious to answer it in the ring. “I don’t know what all the fuss is about,” honestly perplexed Brit tells reporters. “Lori was a tune up—I tuned her up—life goes on, I had no idea that she would be fighting the say of her arrival in the UJ—I don’t make these decisions—it’s not like I had any hand in the promotion of the event. So here I am—in Lori’s back yard, ready to make amends by giving her another beating. Maybe then we can put this whole tiresome scandal behind us.” Kate in leopard print bikini, teak ring connections—Lori in very dark brown bikini with gold ring connections.

During R1: Girls hop to midring, hook each other’s mouths: Lori gets much the better of the trade as Beckinsale is spanked back onto her heels. Loughlin bobbing at the waist, pivoting sharply to the right and hooking out of her crouch from fresh angles: Becks frowning, taking face punches, backing up under pressure, HARD right cross pounds over top Kate’s left hand—Lori leaning in, lips curled back as she catches ALL of the Beckinsale jaw. Kate scowling, hard-pressed, back to the ropes: she’s got her hands cbest high, constantly cocking to fire, only to be beaten to the punch by the exuberant Loughlin. Lori squaring away in second minute—knuckling-bumping her mitts into Kate’s guard or shoulders to jostle her, then ripping her stout to gut, thumping-thumping combinations on the waistline, cramping British beauty up, stooping her forward with a stricken expression. Lori arching her back, licking short, clipping left or right uppercuts against Kate’s pate, brushing her back: Loughlin able to reset and hook the taste out of Beckinsale’s mouth as British girl’s trying to shake off the uppercut. Midway through, Beckinsale breaking down, reaching to clinch: Lori butting her shoulder into Kate’s chest to keep her pinned down, reject the grapple. Furious combination punching in Kate’s body now a serious problem—Lori’s hurting Kate, crippling her, debilitating her. Right uppercuts, left uppercuts and hooks clip the chin: Lori’s lips clamped tight with effort, eyes blazing fierce and POOR BECKINSALE IS HURT! Kate reeling, trapped, getting hammered. Lori POURING it to her foe, opening up as she sees Beckinsale’s form fall apart—Kate no longer defending herself, head jerking back and around even as she tilts forward mute with shock. AND THE REF JUMPS IN! Seconds left in the round—Beckinsale demoralized, out of her feet—Lori Loughlin screaming in exultation as she leaps away the TKO1 victrix!

After: Shades of Jen Connelly/Kate Beckinsale—Lori just getting a very fast start, establishing to Kate’s chin with tart exploratory punching, rapidly graduating to full-on rout as Beckinsale unexpectedly collapses. “THAT’S more like it!” Beams a glowing, untouched Lori Loughlin in postfight—WB contract vixen is scoring the biggest win of her career over a mega-celeb movie star in spectacular fashion tonight. “I knew I’d be competitive with Kate, but I never dreamed she’d show punk. I cannot tell you how sweet this victory is to me.” Beckinsale in emotional tatters—entire spring 2006 timetable upset as she stubs her toe big time on Lori: now Kates got to deal with KO1 chin-jitters; spiteful Jen Connelly assertions that she “ruined” Kate in England, and most importantly; Beckinsale suddenly mired in a best if 3 showdown with smaller name.