Posted by simguy on 5/25/2007, 7:00 pm

Before: Important fight for Lacey - back under management (pending possible Hewitt veto), looking to spread her wings and become a total-package small-bodied threat. "When I knocked out Kristen Bell, everyone shrugged it off as a fluke," a determined Lacey says at the podium. "When I took the JMD tiara, people loved me and supported me for it - but they still didn't want to admit that I could fight. This fight changes all that. I'm stopping Alyssa Milano - end of story - no fluke out or luck involved: that's what I'm TRAINING to do. When I'm done beating on her, I want everyone to know that Lacey Chabert brings more than mouthwatering jugs to a boxing ring!" Milano nonplussed - calm - but she knows Lacey's gotten a lot of press as the New Alyssa: Milano determined to end that noise. Say what you will about her - Alyssa's probably going to go down as the prime architect of Shannen Doherty's decline; Milano's got a KO to the body over Dani Fishel, and recently; Milano's bulldozing KO over Hayden Panettiere was probably the main reason why the young phenom has retreated to the gym for a comprehensive overhaul. Alyssa's a solid test for a credibility-seeking Lacey here. Maxim/FHM pouring gasoline on the fire by running a two-shot cover of Lacey in her white bra-and-panties beside Alyssa in her gold tankini - asking readers to vote on which is the hottest cover in publishing history. Milano playing along - she'll frost her hair and don the gold tankini for the fight, coming in appropriately bronzed and toned; small black work out gloves. Lacey in her white push up and panties; small white work out gloves.

During R1: First minute jabbing from Alyssa: very sound, sturdy stance, left hand stabbing at Lacey's face. Chabert actually slipping poke with weaving head movement - making Milano miss over either Chabert shoulder. Minute mark, Lacey crouches under a Milano jab, scoots forward, erupts out of the crouch with a torso-twisting short-arm hook and DOWN GOES ALYSSA! jarring blast to the point of the chin, sends Milano skidding along her rear - veteran vixen shaking her head in astonishment as Lacey grins down, bats her mitts and bouncy-struts to neutral corner. JAILBREAK! Lacey's all OVER Alyssa at the ropes after the 8 - Chabert transitioning from cagey counterpuncher to JMD wrecking ball in a heart beat. Milano sliding to her right along ropes, taking punches as Chabert hops-with, hooking every step of the way - Milano getting her face punched back as she's staggering sideways at apron. Neutral corner: Chabert in with a stubby right cross, back with a hook in Alyssa's chest; in with a looping overhand right, back with a hook in Alyssa's shoulder. Milano grimacing, trying to punch back: she's beaten to a short, clipping right on her chin, followed by a clanging, compact hook on the chin and DOWN GOES ALYSSA! Tic-toc slugging from Lacey has Chabert squealing as she hops away: Milano wide eyed, on her rear-end, back supported by ropes - she's stunned, bleeding from the nose. Wobbly 8 issued to Alyssa - she barely finishes wiping her gloves on ref's shirt when Chabert comes hurtling in again, squaring away to hammer at a dug-in Alyssa. Tuff to watch: Chabert pinning her ears back, lips curled off her teeth as she aggressively rips rights and lefts to the midsection/in behind the elbows on a cramped up Alyssa Milano. 'Lyss trembling, but curvy legs hold her up at the bell - round finishes to the sights and sounds of Chabert bouncing her mitts in tight, battering arcs off Alyssa's forward-tilting skull, shoulders, back.

R2: Lacey stomp-feints Alyssa at the open, freezes her nicely, dips into a crunching right cross and DOWN GOES MILANO! Alyssa popped and dropped with a hesitation right - stretched out on her back, eyes shut tight as she tries to shake off the poke: Chabert squealing, batting her mitts, jogging to neutral corner all flashing eyes and jumping jugs. Milano looking disheveled, spellbound as she takes her third 8 count of the fight: veteran digs in, eyes hard as she elects to take Chabert head-on. OH THE SLUGGING! Lacey pouncing - but not smothering herself on Alyssa - Chabert with just enough distance to allow her to dip and twist into her hardest punches. Milano dukes up, bending at the waist, blocking on her mitts, then answering back with short, clubbing strokes: don't look now but this is crisp, clean, effective work being done by both vixens. Alyssa hooking-off-the-block, catching Lacey repeatedly in her bright white bra; Chabert doubling her hooks head and body, leaning into short, vicious right hands as Milano dips to slip. Both girls bang abdominals like it's personal down there - each baring clenched teeth as she rips short, muscular hooks to offending tummy. Small gloves crashing and riccocheting off skulls, shoulders, flanks; thumping against plump breast; stick-twisting into firm, golden-brown bellies. Bell: both girls still blastin' - Lacey pushed back by the ref from her dominant position at the ropes.

R3: Alyssa lumping up nicely - fought gallantly to hold ground in the second, but she's looking shabby coming out of that hot swapping. Milano creep-stepping - jabbing at on-coming Chabert: look at Lacey's head movement! Chabert negotiating Alyssa's veteran jab beautifully - weaving low, stepping in, then straightening, torso-twisting right to pull the short hook onto Milano's startled mouth. Alyssa repeatedly punched back onto her heels - she's taking a very good punch tonight, but she IS being moved off her stance. Lacey grinning - not just winning, but obviously having fun - effective pressure being applied with feet as well as fists - constantly hounding Milano to perimeter. Milano tasting crisp right hands to chin, hooks to head, chest and ribs - she's shying away now, looking to crouch down when Lacey's pouncing and walk Chabert into clinches. Milano out of the round in good shape with tactical clinches - but she's wobbly butt en route to her corner, and she's down 3 rounds to love.

R4: Lacey Chabert is just beating Alyssa Milano up. Nothing fancy - nothing dramatic: Chabert showing tremendous discipline in not simply throwing herself at Alyssa JMD style. Lacey's stepping Alyssa down and outhitting her - so methodical as if trying to prove that every square inch of her body is superior to the corresponding patches of Alyssa's body. Lacey foiling Alyssa's jab with terrific head movement - and the defense is setting up Chabert's offence as she's able to fetch those step-and-get hooks out of the crouch. Coming forward and leading - Lacey's closing behind a stubby, Milano-esque jab - stiff and jarring, forcing Alyssa to cover up so Chabert can step in with the hard stuff downstairs. Toe to toe, both are banging, bouncing tidy punches off firm torsos, clouting each other about the temples - but it's normally Lacey winning out, forcing Milano backwards or to the side. By the final minute - a wincing, panting Alyssa's clinching again, tieing up behind Lacey's elbows. Chabert effervescent, constantly wriggling in the grasp, yanking at her arms, pushing weight forward: she wants more Milano.

R5: Alyssa jabbing because it's the right thing to do: Chabert just beating the poke with superior DEFENSIVE moves! Milano stabbing away, right hand at her chest, lips parted in a frustrated little snarl - she misses over the top or past Chabert's ear, then has to backpedal or risk being hooked to mouth. Middle minute - Lacey gets her range right - erupting out of her crouch as Alyssa's backpedaling with hands low: clanging blast to chin swivels Milano's noggin - sprawling her awestruck to ropes. Lacey pouncing - grinning huge: she's had Alyssa hurt all night long and Lacey's just LOVING it. Hook to Milano's paunch - hop right - hook to her jugs, hook to her jugs: Chabert working it LaMotta style here - gouging those left hands, curling 'em back to her chest on follow through, bending her knees and getting into Milano with leverage. Alyssa groaning, not punching back - she's getting clobbered with Lacey punching from outside Milano's left shoulder - hooks reefing at Alyssa's tummy, tits, and chin. No one punch does it, but Alyssa's knees loosen - she stumbles forward, hands at her waist: Chabert turning-with, pasting 'Lyss a tasty short right hand on the mouth as Milano's staggering off the ropes. Another right catches Alyssa onna chops as she's passing Lacey's front right-to-left, then Lacey hooks, clouting Milano's face back and SENDING ALYSSA TO CANVAS! Poor shopworn Milano spreads out on her back - knees up, hands above her head. She's awake, shuddering with "I'm KO'd!" tears, but she can't get off her back. KO5 in jackhammering fashion - Lacey Chabert!

After: By far Lacey Chabert's most professional outing to date. Milano a fit, powerful foe at the weight, but she was never in this fight as Lacey roared out of the gate with a 10-7 first and never looked back. Chabert showing tremendous judgement - working as a counter puncher early until she could tag Alyssa, then stepping on the gas and pouring it to Milano in all the right spots. "I can totally box girls," bleats a quivering Lacey C in postfight. "Alyssa didn't know what hit her - there was just way too much Lacey in the ring with her. Did you see me scooting under her jab and ringing her up? I felt like I could touch her anytime I wanted - and there was nothing she could do about it!"