Originally posted by Simguy on 11/25/2004, 1:23 pm

( Retro Bout Ca. Late 1960s).

Before: Dean Martin is alleged to have come up with this bout after watching Goldie demolish a bit player/chorus-line girl in a private poolside scrap, prompting Deano to exclaim: “I haven’t seen anything like that (Hawn) since Annie’s debut (Ann-Margaret).” With Deano’s clout and a super 8 action reel of Goldie’s highlights—the fight was pitched to then Mega Celebrity Raquel Welch as a battle between a hard-hitting fearless young blonde and the reigning Queen of the Sex-Kittens. Fortunately, Welch’s vaulting ego overcame her common sense (as it often would in the sixties) and she agreed to the fight on set of Dean’s variety show before a packed studio audience. Although Welch combined hot blooded Latina vigour and sinewy grace in never-before-seen abundance, the effervescent Hawn would prove a nasty surprise with hellacious, carefree punching and a kind of joyous disregard for her own well being.

Raquel wore the hot pink lace push up and panties from 1967’s “Bedazzled:--Hawn sported a pale blue tie-side bikini with a halter twist-tied neck and large white polka dots. The fight was not shown on television, but was filmed, prints of which still exist in a few private collections throughout the U.S.

R1: Raquel opened with a series of half-hearted one-twos, easily bobbed and weaved by a grinning Hawn, and Goldie jumped out of her crouch with a crashing hook that would become her trademark: legs straight, hips swiveled through the bow, shoulder tucked tight behind a clanging chin shot. Welch was sent reeling, arms pinwheeling, legs buckling, clear across the ring to hit the ropes in stunned disarray. A grinning Goldie Hawn barreled in and treated Raquel with absolutely no respect—just a glorious, jiggly belting of lefts and rights that had the brunette covered up and cowering much of the round. Smile never leaving her face—Hawn would lean in on Raquel, cheek on Raquel’s shoulder, hands pushing on Welch’s hips, creating room downstairs, then straightening up into thick-mitted hooks amidships and tuff right hands snug above the hip. Going to Rocky’s Rack—Hawn drew enthusiastic applause from a shocked audience as blonde arched her back and helped herself to the most coveted jugs on the planet at the time. Bullied and pummeled against the ropes—a disheveled Raquel could only reach around Goldie’s waist and try to slow the bombardment—with Hawn wriggling to get free and work every second of the round.

R2: The bell to bell whitewashing of the first had Raquel Welch quivering with rage and when she came out for the second, it was to destroy Hawn right then and there. But the more surprises were coming—Hawn soaked up a slinging right on her chin and grinned back, clocking Rocky a tidy left/right on the chops in answer. Hawn guzzled a looping right uppercut intended to knock her out: blonde clubbed a right upside Rocky’s jaw and spanked her head back that vicious hook to drape Welch against the ropes. Raquel’s limber delivery made her vulnerable to the more compact and more numerous punches from her adversary—time and again, Welch would lean back, shocked to be getting tagged and roughed up as Hawn would answer every shot with two of her own. The final minute saw Goldie crowding Raquel at the ropes again, leaning in on brunette, palming the hips, hooking the midsection and aching ribs, chopping rights and kidney and sliding that left shoulder in to ease Raquel back. Late the round, Hawn popped up into that “Hello” left hook, catching Welch clean on the button and sitting her staring into the ropes. A tidy mopping up of Raquel’s bulging jugs followed at the bell—Goldie banging away with that giddy smile, fists-a-swiping back and forth against the proudest racj in all of creation as the crows roared for more;.

R3: For the first time, Welch showed grudging respect for her opponent, using her legs to create angles, circling her foe and letting Hawn run her face against tasty Welch stick. Goldie’s first minute fury abated as Raquel played matador—neatly sidestepping Hawn, punishing her face with clean left leads, clinching smart behind the elbows whenever Goldie wiggled inside. In the second minute, Raquel had her distance and started to extend on right hands—firm, tangy blasts to the jaw that finally put Goldie’s backside on alert and had the blonde double-clutching. By the final minute, right uppercuts and crosses were flowing off Raquel’s jab, brunette hard-eyed as she measured and scored, keeping Goldie at the end of her punches and lumping up on the pretty blonde at the bell. Hawn still grinned a crooked grin, but her wandering route to her corner told the tale: gutsy blonde was taking too many clean shots from lanky Raquel—the damage was adding up.

R4: Welch gave away the first minute, legging the perimeter, drawing out Hawn’s rushes, foiling them and spearing Goldie a juicy jab to mouth and either eye. As Hawn slowly, she became available to Raquel’s right hands, and sumptuous brunette power-punching followed. Welch bent her curvy frame into slinging overhand rights; slapped Goldie’s ear a hook to set up those withering right uppercuts; tucked triumphant rights in behind Goldie’s elbow—Raquel smiling grimly as she felt the give in Hawn’s ribs. Rocky mixed it up, easing in close off a short-chopping right hand and arching her back to lick lefts off Goldie’s breadbasket. It was virtuoso slugging—great spanking blows that had visible effect as poor Goldie bogged down with punishment and began to fall apart. Right hands finished Goldie as she spilled hurt to the ropes, Welch stepped-with and pounding away, going to the jaw over and over again until Hawn pooled to the canvas out cold. Chest heaving, eyes blazing, Raquel glared down in satisfaction, still feeling the effects of Goldie’s hooks in those long, strong legs.

After: Outclassed, Hawn was undaunted by this fight, encouraged that she had been able to get to, and hurt, the vaunted Raquel Welch. So alarmed was Welch (or more likely, her backers) by Goldie’s aggression that Raquel would avoid Hawn until 1972’s “Butterflies Are Free” made a rematch impossible to avoid. As Raquel recalls in her memoirs: “When ‘Butterflies’ came out, EVERYONE was talking Rocky/Goldie. I went to the picture with my manager and when I saw Goldie, I just looked at him and knew: here was the opponent for whom I had been waiting. I knew I wouldn’t be satisfied by any other competition until I had beaten this girl down for good.”

Reposted by Archer 7/15/09.