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25 October 2009 Kaley Cuoco vs Jennifer Garner

Page history last edited by Archer844 14 years, 4 months ago

Posted by simguy on 10/25/2009, 9:32 am


BEFORE: "I've got all the respect in the world for Jen Garner," Kaley says in prefight, "but the one thing she can't handle now is speed. Sucks for her, because I'm ALL ABOUT speed. I've got pounce; I'm in and out on girls - Jen's gonna get marked up, just standing there watching me work and waiting to get big on me. Not gonna happen: Kaley Cuoco's just a little too sweet for that!" Jen impassive at the dais: she knows she's facing a Kaley Cuoco who's come fully into her own at this point. "I make Kaley out to be one of the top three most talented fighters in boxing," Jen says, "so I've got my work cut out for me. But we've all seen talented fighters get busted before - I'm not intimidated by Kaley's skill. I'll check her confidence. I'll check her discipline. I'll check her heart. Any one of those things lets her down, and I'll have her. I plan to leave Kaley the most talented loser in boxing when I leave that ring!" Kaley in black bikini; hair up in scruffy twist-bun with bangs framing face; black gloves. Jen in tiger print bikini; hair up in scruffy twist-bun with bangs framing face; black gloves.

R1: Jen managing Kaley's pounce like an old pro early. Stiff, pre-emptive jab touches Kaley on her jump in, spoiling Cuoco's hope of being first. Jen fades back a smidge - creating little gaps Kaley has to bridge, walking Kaley onto cute check-hooks en route. Jen rotating counter-clockwise, feinting the right hand to disrupt Kaley, but doing most of the work with jabs and hooks. Nobody hurt, but it's a clean, classic gettin'-to-know-ya Jen Garner round of technical boxing. Jen's trainer reminds JG to "flirt with her jugs" - idea being to ruffle Kaley's feathers a bit while managing her.

R2: Kaley turns the tables somewhat - employing feints to disrupt, and fade-backs to coax Jen forward...Garner caught reaching for Kaley as a result. Touch-and-go hooks from Cuoco - tidy little cuffs taking Jen to chin...then Kaley's stepping away, circling briskly clockwise. Garner dukes up, hopping forward - she's dropping a stiff jab out from the shoulder, looking to knock at Kaley: Cuoco foiling Jen with shifting lateral pivots and level-changes of her head - showing that she's not just another hot body in a black bikini through 2.

R3: Jen stiff-jabbing VERY effectively...sets Kaley up for a stamping straight right to chin and BLONDE GIRL DOWN! Sudden poking right sends Kaley scooting to her rear: she's up quickly, blushing crimson, but well and truly touched for an 8 count. Jen wades in: turns on a vicious right roundhouse to Kaley's waist; turns into a stroking come-back left to paunch: Kaley's belted ropeside, face strained. Cuoco showing earmuff, butt-in-ropes: Jen squares up, using heels of hands to push and prop, then she's WHACKING away to flanks/waist. Softening barrage has Kaley sullen: Jen edges in close with shrugging left hooks to do more than 'flirt' with Kaley's rack: she's out and out POUNDING those puppies. Cuoco grimacing, bouncing into ropes, trying to duck-and-roll: she's shipping a beating through 2 minutes. Down the stretch, Kaley off the ropes: quick-clipping left uppercut/left hook combo clouts away chin-and-cheek...JEN'S STUNNED! Garner wide eyed, suddenly wobbly butt: she tries to body-up clinch, but Kaley sidesteps, neatly spinning Jen face-first to ropes. PAY BACK BEAT-DOWN! Kaley squaring away, letting hands go: Jen's turn to sit in ropes, cover up hurt and soak punishment. Kaley applying crop to haunch hard to the bell: she's still hammering at Jen's defences when ref pulls her off. Spirited Cuoco comeback converts Jen's 10-8 to a mere 10-9: both girls wearing serious "fight has started" expressions during break.

R4: Interesting: Kaley accepts Jen inside - girls push and bump shoulder to shoulder, swapping swat. Cuoco turning Jen counterclockwise throughout the close-in engagement: moving the veteran's feet, subtly dictating terms. Kaley's left hand switch-quick - cuffing at Jen's paunch; clipping at her chin; tucking in behind right elbow. Jen also effective: chopping right hands in above Kaley's left hip; digging lefts to stomach; jerky left uppercuts to jug/face. Girls laying in mouth on shoulder, but keeping hips back: hands constantly palming and touching at each other's hips/ribs/biceps as fighters grope for position. Kaley busier, better: bit of an eye-opener for Jen as she comes away out-worked.

R5: Kaley trying to pounce-step in: Jen manages every rush like a veteran matadora. Key is Garner's stiff, pounding jab so sudden off the shoulder: Cuoco caught time and again jumping in, her pounce spoiled. Garner rotating counter-clockwise, always turning Kaley; Jen also fade-stepping back half a step in her stance...just enough gap to walk Kaley into trouble. Kaley's unquestionably faster, but Jen's timing exquisite this round: Garner managing Kaley like she's got the girl on a yo-yo. Cuoco's manager a little impatient with her during the break, imploring her to "Jab, baby! Don't forget to jab!"

R6: Girls fighting on the inside again - Kaley with good success early, cuffing and swatting Jen's tummy/tits, then turning her. Garner grumpy, but composed - palming Kaley's hips to locate her, slugging from there. Minute mark, Jen clips a slick right uppercut inside, picking up Kaley's chin: Cuoco slumping against Jen like she's wants to snuggle, then suddenly stumbling forward as Jen pulls back...KALEY'S SHOOK! Jen smells blood: she jerks left uppercut to right tit, picking Kaley up as Cuoco's staggering forward. Jen retreats in good order, finding Kaley with another tuff left uppercut to midsection, then stacking Kaley up with a bumping left shoulder to chest. Cuoco blinking, lips parted: she's ragged, glassy-eyed, reaching to clinch. Jen leans in with a tight, chopping right to chin (head-swivel Kaley); bumps her left shoulder tuff to Kaley's chest, putting Kaley on her heels upright and blinking; Jen twists into a furious hook, stroking Kaley across her chin and following through with body into Cuoco's chest. Cuoco punch-shocked and body-bumped...she topples back from Jen's momentum and CRASHES TO CANVAS! Kaley a-swoon, hands up above her head, eyelashes fluttering...IT'S OVER! Stunning KO6 Jen Garner!"

After: Old-mare still has it, engaging Kaley in a marvelous contest of skill, will, and wits. "She was getting greedy inside," Jen grins in postfight, showing dimples. "I was surprised at her inside game - very strong - but that IS my fight: I knew if she kept forcing the issue, I'd light her up. I'm the heavier handed woman - I proved that: if I'm catching Kaley clean, she's going out. This is a great win for me: a lot of people think that I'm the antidote for these sporty young lightweights like Biel, Cuoco, Durance and such. After tonight, they just might be right!"

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