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25 October 2009 Maria Menounos vs Jill Wagner

Page history last edited by Archer844 14 years, 4 months ago

Posted by simguy on 10/25/2009, 9:33 am,


BEFORE: Some pushing/shoving, hard feelings in pre-fight: Maria's nose is out of joint re: Jill. "I just think I'm hotter and better, and Jill should wait her turn," Maria explains during one conference. "We're up for a lot of the same opponents and slots - and I deserve dibs. I think it's great that Wagner wants to compete, but I'm not letting her by me. If this was rollerderby, I'd be putting her over the rail - you know what I mean?" Wagner rolling her eyes in rebuttal. "Maria's an entitled little tramp who needs to be slapped down," Jill says at podium. "Face it: as a fighter, Maria's been a bust. Hotter and better? Than what? Menounos isn't even a real celebrity...she's a ho-hum brunette who COVERS celebrities for ET. Obviously, she wasn't hacking it as an actress either!" Ouch. Maria in pink bikini; soft curls tied back off her face; black gloves; white runners/thick white socks rolled down. Jill in baby blue bikini; white runners/thick white socks rolled down; white gloves.

During R1: Jill a little slow out of the gate: Maria comes out slugging. Wagner buffetted out of her stance by free-swinging Maria rights and lefts: Menounos lusty from the hips, twisting into strokes. Jill swept to ropes: she forms earmuff, digging in to fit Maria for tidy counter-left uppercuts. Menounos munching on the odd chin-check, but attacking vigorously to Jill's waist via both hands. Rich, stroking stuff from Maria, shaking Jill as Wagner firms, fights off the apron late.

R2: Maria aggressive, punching a stream of right hands to Jill's head early: Wagner knocked off-stance, driven to ropes. Swinging free-for-all sees Maria past Jill tasty lefts and rights: Wagner's knees buckle, dipping her back into ropes. Menounos' ferocity only increases down the stretch: she's shouting at she lashes wide rights to Jill's body, or belts away swinging left/right combos up top. Wagner wilting: tight first round defences really loosening up under sheer volume and velocity of Menounos' output. Bell: Maria baring teeth, still unleashing; Jill clobbered about her face, staring back in confusion as ref comes to rescue.

R3: Jill jabbing to Maria's breasts, then hooking with her...WAGNER GOES DOWN! Menounos exploding a vicious left off Jill's chin sits her beautiful rival down: Wagner shaky getting up, takes a blinking 8. Deep breath Maria - shoulders rising/chest expanding, then she wades on in to get after Jill. Wagner hurt, but stubborn: she shows dukes at brows, stooping forward off the ropes as Maria squares away. Menounos pitchin' from her hips - twisting side to side - teeth bared, eyes blazing as she swings away wailing lefts and rights. Jill clobbered, but keeping herself together: she's moving her head, getting under some of the work...still can't pull the trigger on counters as Maria romps to her third straight round.

R4: Jill ordered to brawl for respect...IT'S A CLAMBAKE! Wagner bending in, fetching Maria a CLANGING right cross: Menounos suddenly stepping in fence post holes, eyes all foggy. Jill snarling, wading in: rangy hook clips Maria's chin, then the extended right hand as she's stumbling backward. Menounos punched length o' the ring: she firms off the ropes, walking Jill into a slugging right to pit of the stomach as Wagner seeks to finish. HAMMER AND TONGS! Girls just loading up, swinging away side to side: rights and lefts clap and clang away to jawlines as BOTH backsides start to wobble in distress. Maria slugging her way off the ropes...taking and giving punishment every step of the way. Jill rips a right uppercut to Maria's chin, straightening Menounos up and bringing her feet skidding forward...favoured returned seconds later as Jill walks into a right on the button, loosening her knees. Trade in hooks goes Maria's way...Jill's knees bend, eyes blinking hurt...Wagner stumbles back a step, trying to rally. Maria hops-to, triggers her right hand off the hip as Jill's trying for another right uppercut: HEAD SWIVEL, JILL WAGNER! Jill savagely chin-checked...right uppercut sails as back (right) knee gives way, spilling Wagner awkwardly to canvas. Jill rolling onto her back, eyelashes fluttering, lips muttering and SHE'S FINISHED! Pretty Wagner can't get off her back...KO4 Maria Menounos in raucous fashion!

After: Maria initiates and wins a high-risk fire-fight: Jill clobbered early, never really found her groove against her hard-charging rival. "THAT'S the fight I've been waiting for," a sweaty-glowing Maria crows in postfight. "We just said in camp that we had to let it all hang out in this one - take no prisoners. I've been trying to box and be cute, but you know what? I'm more of a Debbe Dunning than a Charlize Theron. The Stunning One never let a crowd down, and neither will I. Jill's just the first of many, many lightweights who are going to go DOWN against Maria Menounos from now on!"

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