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27 August 2010 Neve Campbell vs Jenny McCarthy

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 7 months ago

CELEBRITY BOXING AFTER DARK

Posted by simguy on 8/27/2010, 8:52 am

BEFORE: What's Neve got left to prove against Jenny? "Nothing," Campbell shrugs at podium. "It's a matter of record: I'm better, head to head. But punching loudmouthed blondes to sleep never gets old - and they don't come any mouthier or louder than Jenny Mac. And look, I'll admit it: I love running up the score on a girl. It's not about competition between us anymore: it's about me indulging myself. You may as well ask me why I still eat chocolate." Mac fuming: Neve's 'tude's backed by results and Jmac hates it. "She's beat my ass a few times," McCarthy says at podium, "but whatever: she harnessed her talent earlier and used it to get the jump on me. But it ain't where you start, it's where you finish, and look at us now. Neve's facing a huge weight-cut to get her pasty gut back down to 120, while I walk around ripped and ready. I've taken better care of the ol' machine, and while I've improved, Neve's been breaking down. So yeah, I've spotted her a few fights: don't let that confuse you as much as it does her!" Jenny in scarlet bikini with ring connections; small black gloves; shoulder length bob. Neve in black push up bra; leopard print bottoms; short black bob ala Scream 2; small black gloves. Hard feelings made much harder when it's revealed that Rachel MacAdams is in Jenny's camp helping with Neve-prep, while Kate Beckinsale's photographed putting her head together with Neve for Jenny-busting confabs.

During R1: Fired-up Jenny CRISP at the open - chucking body blows and head-combinations off the jab midring. Neve sputtering - crouching down behind earmuff, riding out early ferocity. Half way through, pair of digging blonde left uppercuts digs up Neve's breadbasket; while Neve's gasping, clipping left hook tugs her chin and CAMPBELL'S DOWN! Neve panting on all fours, shaking her bobbed head: Jenny stomping past all flared nostrils, blazing eyes. Neve up for a ship-shape 8, but it's all Jenny to bell: blonde girl raking brunette hooks and crosses along ropes.

R2: Jenny spritzing jabs, motoring clockwise: classy, uptempo boxing look has Neve covered up/crouching. Jenny digging hooks behind Neve's right elbow as Campbell stoops forward: smug look of satisfaction on tight blonde lips as McCarthy lays claim to Neve's body rather than t'other way around. Neve grumpy - bobbing/babystepping her way forward with right hand palm-out at left cheek/left across her gut: Jenny circling, staying outside, picking her girl apart for a second consecutive shutout.

R3: Jenny pop-pop-popping that left jab while circling clockwise: Neve scuffed about her brows, poked on her mouth as McCarthy reclaims initiative. Jenny leaning in to work: busy right/lefts thumping Neve's midsection; hooks off the right (back) leg swiping across jug; rapid one-twos punching pate. Neve able to answer late - bobbing close enough to detonate batting hooks off Jenny's right flank. Blonde girl stands her ground, digs back left uppercuts to Neve's rack as fighters trade hard to bell.

R4: Neve's bobbing/encroaching more productive...she's weaving Jenny's jab, hooking the ribs/gut with some consistency, staying in range to trade short right/lefts up top. Jenny still the busier girl, and the leggier: she's constantly pivoting crisply left, turning Neve's right flank, refusing to let brunette set feet. Trading slowly becoming more constant as Jenny's always in range, always willing to give a little to get a little more.

R5: Same as the forth, except late the round - pair of sharp blonde left uppercuts clips Neve's chin, putting her wobbly-butt. Neve's face: "Uh-uh, no-good" as she backs away confused: Jenny hops her down, drives in the right cross, chin-punching Neve ropeside. Frisky follow up, Jenny on Neve: batting fusillade of lefts and rights to gut prefaces a sequence of left uppercuts/short right crosses to face that leaves Neve staring, stunned on ropes at bell. Five straight rounds for Jenny her best run ever against Neve: Campbell busting up, looking disheveled on her stool.

R6: Neve doggedly at Jenny - weaving blonde jabs; answering back thumping hooks to ribcage...but it's the short, blunt right hand up top that's backing McCarthy up. Jenny facing into Neve's concussive rights while working Campbell's rack and belly: action is more squared up, toe-to-toe than it has been. Midway through - Neve making steady inroads: Campbell in bobbing peek-a-boo clips Jenny a nuisance little left uppercut, then dips down to RIP in the left hook to liver. Jenny's face cramps up: she backs away all lips a-quiver. Deep breath Neve, then she's walking Jenny down - reaching in to body McCarthy the last couple steps to ropes. Neve on Jenny, fighting off blonde chest: brunette shoving and slugging like a champ, beating Jenny's hips/ribs/waist/rack with clubbing enthusiasm. Bell: Neve's still pummelling - ref has to pull her off from behind as Jenny's slumping hurt in ropes.

R7: Neve purposeful, walking Jenny down behind a thudding left jab, bobbing, then coming up hooking to JMac's ribcage. Drumming thumps sounding out - brunette driving blonde before her: McCarthy stricken, cringing as Neve finds the range again and again. Midway point - Jenny ropebound, showing peek-a-boo, bobbing and rolling on her hips: Neve squared up, pushing with heels of her hands on Jenny's guard, then RIPPING her money-hooks downstairs. Brutal simplicity: Neve just swinging baseball-bat strokes into Jenny's right-side ribs, tucking in behind right elbow and BLONDE GIRL DOWN! Gasping descent, Jenny's knees give way, easing her to all fours. Neve puffs hair off her brow, looking smug: "Looks familiar, doesn't it?" Campbell snarks as ref moves in. Achy-8, Jenny Mac: she breathes deep, sits in ropes, forms up earmuff as Neve wades in for more. Brutal, concussive siege continues - Neve looming over Jenny, pushing her in her shoulders, heaving hooks into her body while reserving the right hand as a prod or short, blunt instrument in close. So vicious, so methodical - Neve popping hips-right, weight on left (front) leg, laying that left hand strong to Jenny...Neve's buttocks shuddering side to side as she makes contact with resisting blonde beef. Down the stretch, Jenny's right leg buckles, spilling her to one knee: she's blinking in astonishment as delighted Neve shouts, "BONUS!" During the break, Jenny cringes as trainer probes her ribs - her face ashen with pain, breath hissing through clenched teeth.

R8: Neve wades in to Jenny: McCarthy slidesteps back in her stance, walking brunette onto the check-left uppercut, then punching-with from there. Jenny disengages, circles, slides away: she's walking Neve in, beating her to the first shot, then slugging-with forehead-on-forehead. Bruising stuff - Campbell lumping up as Jenny's left uppercut just doesn't miss: blonde girl initiating every exchange. Near constant two-way punching bell to bell: Jenny's stabilized her front, outworked Neve in a critical come-back round.

R9: Jenny sidestepping left/slidestepping backwards - clever positioning coaxing Neve into traps. McCarthy's left uppercut short, clipping: she's picking Neve up in her tits or chin, then doubling down to dig liver. Jenny rotating left around the left-hand scores: she's turning Neve, whittling on her. Midway through, short right hand PULVERIZES Neve's jaw: Campbell's knees buckle as Jenny leans in to a tight, short cross that's all back and legs. Campbell awe-struck: she staggers away to ropes, steadying herself with a hand on top strand: Jenny walks her down big-girl and MAC WANTS RACK! Chugging, all-in assault bunching up Neve's front-meat, jackhammering her senseless: Campbell ragdoll for a moment as her chest absorbs a sudden, ferocious pumping. Campbell eventually clinching, mouth open on Jenny's shoulder: Mac slides Neve along ropes to corner turnbuckles, then JAMS in snug with left shoulder in Neve's tits, compressing the air out of poor Campbell. Jenny's legs stiffening up as she drives herself into Neve again and again, shoulder-blocking Campbell witless against padded buckles. Ref issues break: Neve gasping, bedraggled as Jenny looks her over frosty.

R10: Jenny circling clockwise, jabbing like the smartest, most prudent blonde in boxing. Neve shabby with hurt, turning slowly, showing no closing-pounce: she's bobbing out on the end of blonde poke, getting scuffed up. Campbell wincing, trying to rush forward in spots: Jenny bounds back, sprays combinations, squirts out to the side, then calmly re-institutes her jab. Bell to bell Jenny - she boxes out the round and seals Neve's fate UD10.

After: Bitterness in the aftermath as Neve objects to Jenny's raised arms, cockily nodding head and snarky smirk: brunette pushing blonde in the chest to start festivities. Rachel Mac at Jenny's shoulder - pointing and shouting at Neve until Rmac's spun 'round by Kate Beckinsale and berated. Red cheeks, shouting mouths, angry eyes...security manages to separate cream of the bantam weight division before critical mass is achieved...but it's a near-run thing indeed. "Who's the better woman now, Neve?" Jenny says on-mic, searching the crowd for her nemesis. "Look at my face; now look at yours; now back to me: get the picture?"