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27 March 2010 Shakira vs Avril Lavigne

Page history last edited by Archer844 14 years ago

Boxing at the Mirage

Posted by simguy on 3/27/2010, 9:28 am

BEFORE: The "Colombian Sex-Pot" returns Stateside under the aegis of Madonna/Spears...her mandate: destroy Avril Lavigne. Best known for being abandoned in-ring by her management following a KO loss: Shak's got redemption in mind. Avril looking good in training camp - but she's looked good before: remains to be seen how it all translates to the ring. Most Outrageous Prefight Moment: Shakira yanking a Canadian flag off a nearby post, throwing it to the ground, stomping it, grinding it beneath her heel: Toronto crowd mobs stage, forcing Shak & Co to escape via helicopter on the roof. Shakirs in sheepskin western motif bikini - top is tan with fringes; bottoms have tan hip-band with brown leather seat and crotch; small black work out mitts; elf-cut suede boxing shoes with fringed tassles; hair in loose blonde tangles. Avril in clingy black crop top with long sleeves, scoop front over push up bra; bare midriff; red/black plaid bottoms; black boxing shoes; hair loose n' bangy.

During R1: Shakira in exaggerated wide stance, hands at her sides, face scowling. Avril more textbook - hands up, elbows in...she's pinging out jabs like sonar, trying to locate her blonde. Shak springy in that weird stance - little shifting adjustments with the legs staying wide...as Avril encroaches, Shakira lifts hands off thighs to cuff and bat her brunette. Lavigne swatted upside the head, clapped off course: she's a buffetted beauty. Midway through, Shakira walks Avril into a left uppercut that starts at the knee, finishes on chin: Lavigne's stepping in fence post holes. Shak pivots-left, comes up well to Avril's right side, swings a palm-down sidearm right into right side of Lavigne's jaw and DOWN GOES SK8R GRRL! Av punched to her rump, comes up sputtering: Shak glaring, prowling neutral corner and Lavs takes a shaky 8. Resume: Shakira at Avril on ropes...Lavigne covering up earmuff, stooping forward: Shak squared away, helicoptering her arms against Av's pale flanks and LAVIGNE GOES DOWN! Gurgling descent just at the bell...Avril beaten to all fours, panting breathless from Colombian body blows.

R2: Shaken Lavigne attempting rally: she's inching forward - pinging the jab from 8 feet away, right hand fisted at right cheek. Shak in that crazy-wide stance, but it's working for her: short girl creates distance just by leaning back; creates angles just by pivoted around grounded left (front) heel. Av uncertain of range - she gropes with the jab, only to catch clout as Shak twitches mitts off her hips. Shakira's swinging blasts finding chin with uncanny accuracy: zero head movement from Avril as she's there for rising blonde wallop. After a minute, little Lavigne's absorbed several bombs...she's stumbling, plaid-trunks a-wobbling as pale legs stamp to keep her upright. Midway through, Shakira leans in righty - pulling the punch off her thigh, swinging it sidearm through Avril's chin, pasting it hard starboard. Av stunned, never sees the follow up hook DEEP to liver. Short, licking stroke bites in: Av groaning, collapses forward, going to knees/forearms with top of her head against canvas. Avril gutshot, butt in the air as she sobs for breath...it's over. KO2 via heartstopping body shot KO, Shakira.

After: Lavigne scraped up, lifted to her corner: she's wheezing in pain. Shakira joined in the ring by Britney, Madonna and a host of suits and industry execs. Shak's band takes the ring and audience is treated to a quick two-song set as Shakira's music prevails over Avril's even as Shakira's fists did - just to underscore the point.