Charlize Theron (5'9" 132) vs. Natasha Henstridge (5'10" 135) by simguy 6-28-03

UNIFIED WELTERWEIGHT TITLE

Before: Boxing truism: all welters can fight - might have been written for Nat Henstridge. Currently unranked, Natasha doesn't get a lot of TV time, but when Gena Lee Nolin needs some no BS sparring to really get ready for a threat - she calls Henstridge, and Natasha's still the only woman to be banned from the cruise ship circuit for 'excessive brutality'.

"She's strong," says Charlize, "that's all I know. Just kicking the same ass all the time makes a champ stagnant - you gotta get out there, make sure girls in the gyms aren't getting brave. Gym gossip's the worst - if you don't put your foot down, these nobodies will totally disrespect you."

Natasha in tight pale blue cotton tank and panties (tawdry), Charlize in tight gray cotton tank and panties (equally tawdry), ponytail. Theron reaches to touch 'em up after instructions - Henstridge spurns her with a sneer.

Rd 1: Easy breezy Charlize, loping left, feinting, flicking jabs off her hip - just probing her girl's reflexes, getting used to Nat. Henstridge chin tucked, stalking - good strong jab when she uses it, trying to steer Charlize with stick in the chest, but Theron's movement's the cure. Just a look-see round - Henstridge wants to go, Charlize not cooperating - Theron's round on ring generalship.

Rd 2: More fluid boxing from Charlize, dancing to her left, showing the jab in the stomach, putting it in the teeth, swat-hooking the ear to sidestep around Nat's right shoulder. Henstridge stepping forward, hands up, growling as she tries to cut off the ring, finally giving up and retreating to draw Theron in. Final minute - Charlize coming down off her bicycle, doubling up the jab to the chest and ringing Nat up the right cross on the teeth - pretty Theron combinations bring a roar from the crowd and CHARLIZE GOES DOWN! Henstridge retreating in good order, uncoils a looping, Nolin-esque overhand right to catch Theron on the temple and sprawl her - champ's up at 8 - QUEASY! Henny marching in, crouching and DRIVING right to that left breast, slumping Charlize back into the ropes with a sick groan. Henny palming up, plowing home rights - catching Charlize on the chin with 100% forearm follow up - greasy elbow smashes doing ruinous work. Final elbow above the left eye opens a horrible gash - bell sounds - Charlize swaying, all busted up, forlorn - Henstridge strutting.

Rd 3: Henny takes over. Natasha trapping a woozy Charlize and easing her heavy to the ropes, tying up the champ's right arm under her left and going to work. Nat barbarous as she tucks right hands into Charlize' trembling belly out of the wrap, turns on repeated right forearms to the breasts. Theron stunned, limp - Natasha working to palm her girl's left shoulder back to open up her chest for more heavy-handed abuse. Theron struggling to free herself, but Natasha doing a good job, wrapping up either arm, holding her behind the head, pressing up against her at the ropes. Swampy third goes to Natasha who widens Charlize' cut, puts more miles on her body. Theron whines to ref during the break.

Rd 4: Henstridge all business - getting on Charlize, walking her to the ropes, wrapping her up and working this girl OVER! Brutally effective with the right elbow - throwing it forearm-smash style to the ribs, disguising it as an inside uppercut; gouging Charlize' breasts with the elbow; jamming it in tight to the side of Theron's jaw. Charlize' legs trembling, bowing, then straightening as she soaks up punishment - the weight of her opponent and the harsh treatment adding up. Down the stretch, Natasha getting big, riding her right forearm on a doubled-over Charlize' upperback, clubbing the back and right side with Neanderthal hooks. Charlize finally succumbs, wilting to her knees - as Nat turns away, she casually bangs her knee into Charlize' open mouth and Theron sobs in protest.

Rd 5: Charlize is hurt amidships, flat footed, but grimly determined to back-down this bully. Both girls pitching right hands - Charlize doing a nice job shortening up her stroke, ducking down with it to make Nat miss over the top - HENSTRIDGE IS HURT! Nat backed onto her heels by a series of concussive blasts on her chin - she's obviously shocked to see Theron's got legit pop at the weight. Theron wading into Natasha, bringing blonde donnybrook - crowd roaring as the girls settle into wino-brawling mode, leaning into each other for support, taking turns stroking ribs and chins. Fight stumbles into the ropes, wanders across the ring - girls loading up and shellacking each other with hard punches only - no slapping, nothing cute, nothing rushed. During the break, Charlize pleading with Janet to 'stop the bleeding' left eye closed, face a mess after 5.

R6: Henstridge has Charlize brawling and the two go at each other like lumberjacks this round. Theron slicing in that nice right cross on the teeth - Henstridge banging away with baseball bat strokes to the belly and breasts - 2 rights, 2 lefts at a time, crippling Charlize! Henstridge  still very effective out of the wrap, holding and hitting Charlize, wearing her down - this thing drifts to the ropes with Henstridge on top. Natasha getting a gorgeous forearm clout across Charlize' tender jugs - Theron sobbing aloud as she's harmed, stacked up against the strands - Natasha getting better looks at the champ's chin with wide, clocking lefts and rights. Down the stretch, Charlize stops punching, standing woozy at the ropes, hurt - Natasha palms her shoulders and starts DRIFTING punches at the chin, eye. Theron hands at her chest in prayer, swaying into the ropes upon contact, lolling forward - Nat has her paralyzed with punishment. Henstridge baring her teeth, piling it on - blacksmith blows raining down, battering what's left of Charlize' beautiful face, occasionally touching her in the tits to huddle her up and THERON GOES DOWN! Charlize just crumpling forward, drops to her knees, then sprawls out on her face. IT’S OVER! Savage KO6 Natasha Henstridge!

After: Ex-model Henny knows just what to do. Cigar in mouth - Henny shakes up a bottle of champagne, popping it and dousing all around her, taking a brawler's swig and marching over to shell-shocked Charlize. You have to go way back to see Charlize' face in this kind of condition - that's a Naomi Campbell beating she took tonight - a Gena Lee special and Natasha won't spare the lash.

Right arm strong around the waist, Natasha takes a stunned, very EX-champ for her walk, pouring champagne over her girl, holding the bottle aloft; soaking Theron’s top until it’s practically transparent - Henny literally drunk on triumph. Nat hissing, “Better have that eye checked out," before sending Charlize on her way with a swat on the ass. Theron all puffy-eyed and drowsy, slack features.

"Hey maybe I'll trashcan these belts, move on up and kick Heigl's ass next!" speculates Natasha - champagne bottle and cigar competing for her attention in postfight. "I mean, it ain't about belts. If a girl needs a belt to fight for, she shouldn't be fighting, you know what I mean? Maybe when Charlize heals up, we can do it for real in a bar somewhere...nawww - that ain't her style! PUNK!"