Posted by Simguy on 5/29/2008, 6:06 pm.

Before: “Ever since excusing that hag Hannigan and talking Sarah apart--I’ve felt unstoppable,” Kristin beams at the podium, :”You might say  Rachael Leigh Cook is no competition for me--and you’d be right--but she’s a good primer for Panettiere. Cook’s a softer version of Hayden: beat Rachael, and you’re 90% there as far as Panettiere goes. Just think f this fight as a taste of things to come.”

Cook non-plussed: Wolfpack Kris seems extra grating to girl like Rachael these days--”Somebody needs to shut this girl up,” Cook grumbles at the podium. “Seriously--it’s not like Kristin went to bed an average fighter and woke up a superwoman--she’s still the same undersized, undergunned brunette she’s always been. Couple of hard right hands and some body work will smarten her up.”

Cook in tawdry blue cashmere top and panties; baby blue cashmere punching mittens; tan UGG boxing boots to midcalf, Kreuk stunning Rachel by showing up in a white cashmere crochet bikini even MORE tawdry than Rachael’s traditional togs; white cashmere punching mittens; white slouchy moccasins of soft suede--to midcalf or so.

During R1: Kris opens with a supple lead left hook, smiting Rachael’s right eye; Kreuk pivots left, spritizing jabs as blinking Cook covers up, Kris sharp, relaxed: straight right hand slants straight down to Rachael’s tummy; followed by a biting hook to chin and another pivot-left, Cook turns, covers up: Krissy tattoos the guard with a sudden stamping of straight lefts and rights--cashmere skidding off Cook’s wrists, brows. Kreuk finishes up with a ringing left uppercut to chin, pivots left: Cook looking frazzled early as Kris tidies up, pair of tapping jabs occupies Cook’s guard up top buggy whip right hand slashes in above Rachael’s left hip--Cook cringes, instantly crumpling forward. Krissy’s eyes dance--she edges inside--digs a hook to Cook’s breadbasket as Rachael leans back on wide-spread legs, neatly slipping the swipe, Kris jabs Rachael’s right eye--pivots left--jabs Rachael’s mouth: Rachael turning, keeping her dukes up--she takes another limber right hand tuff to midsection, Kreuk in on front (left) leg turns over a tidy hook in tight, clouting Rachael’s chin; Kreuk back to nthe gut with a feisty collection of rights and lefts hup-hup-hup. Rachael blurting with hurt--finally glancing a right hand off Krissy’s scalp as Kreuk’s pivoting away. Round ends with girls trading furiously toe-to-toe: Kristin’s cashmere mitts scuffing and skidding off Rachael’s face in thumping exchange.

R2: Kristin opens with a feint, then a hesitation left uppercut that picks Rachael up onto her toes: crowd oohing and ahhing as Kristin executes pivot-left, licking her lips as Cook covers up shaky. Swinging right in the gut, Kris to Rache; gorgeous, limber left down there--Krissy arching her back, staying supple, getting the most out of her lissome frame. Rachael back with a right hand--too slow: Krissy slips it, slides in underneath and slashes another right/left to Cooks cuddly paunch. Rachael whining as she turns, getting undressed: she misses a  a big hook over the top as Kris ducks low, pivots right: Kreuk ends up in behind Rachael, trailing her left hand insolently across Cook’s trembling belly, kissing Rachael n the back of her right shoulder as ref moves in. Midring: Kreuk picks her hands up, tucks her chin--knocks a couple of traditional jabs off Rachael’s brow, pivots left, drops the right hand onto Rachael’s mouth, Cook shows peek-a-boo, leaning forward behind her mitts: Krissy arches her back, licks a swinging left hook in behind Cook’s right elbow; eases weight to right (back) foot while tapping the left jab off Cook’s forehead, then; rips that vicious buggy-whip right in above cook’s left hip. DOWN GOES RACHAEL! Buggy whip short-circuit Cook’s legs-she drops to her right knee, tears brimming. Kristin glowing, smiling en route to neutral corner: she’s loving it o n Rachael tonight. Cook beats the count ashen-faced, labouring: bell sounds before Krissy can add on.

R3: Feint/hesitation right hand stuns Rachael: straight out of the Claire Danes handbook. Left uppercut to the solar plexus thumps home as Krissy catches Rachael stooping forward behind her mitts: quick shove of Rachael’s head to the side exposes her to another heartless buggy-whip right hand thumper to the flank. Kris pivots right, looming over her crouching opponent: left uppercut gouges in underneath, taking Rachael in her sternum, buckling her knees, Another buggy whip right smites off those left-side ribs--cashmered fist landing with dull thump on bone--Kristin’s slender limbs shivering on contact. Kris edges in on her left (front) foot, tucks a short left hook in across struggling Cook tummy; shrugs in another short hook--just a twitch-delivery shrugs in a short left uppercut to breasts; short left hook across breast to get Rachael stumbling backward. Kristin advancing with a smile--she hops-with--pawing her left hand high, then leans in to fetch Rachael a glorious right cross  against the chops, Cook staggers into ropes all loose--she covers up face-in-mittens, stooping forward butt in ropes, Kreuk squares away--lithe limbs taut as she revs it up: terrible, clawing whirlwind of punches tears at discouraged Rachael. Cashmere fists bounce off skull and shoulder; thump across back. Skid across ribs. Kristin jump humming, eyes bright--wiry little frame electric with punishing hum. Ref steps in: Cook showing no signs of going down, but she’s covering her face and taking a licking--clearly doesn’t want any more of this. TKO# Kristin Kreuk.

After: Kreuk bathed and glistening in sweat of her own labour--she’s resplendent strutting the ring, favoring the crowd with that winsome smile. Cook having a good little cry: she gets handled tonight--outclassed and worked over--Rachael’s been better. Not over for cook: Kris eventually pushing her way in and shoving Cook roughly against her own turnbuckles: Rachael’s head lolling, arms thrown out over top ropes for balance. Kreuk mounts her beaten foe, left hand securing a tight fistful of hair as she gazes out into the audience. Poor Cook a wreck, standing there all dazed and bleak with a face full of tummy as Kreuk works the crowd. Kris in no hurry at all--just managing Rachael’s head with one of both hands at a time, milking the moment.

Reposted by Archer 1/24/11.