Posted by simguy on 5/29/2010, 6:01 pm

BEFORE: "To me - Kaley Cuoco is Jessica Biel Lite," Kelly shrugs, oozing British disdain. "Seeing as I've mastered Biel herself, battering her cheap imitators should be a matter of course. The problem for Kaley is my great strength: I'm simply too much for the poor girl. The wonder is that she accepted out challenge at all!" Cuoco frowning, crossing her arms as she listens: she knows disrespect when she hears it. "Kelly Brook's a joke," Kaley fires back at podium. "Really? Prancing around in lingerie makes you a celebrity? Please! And she thinks coming in juggy makes her the stronger girl: if we arm-wrestled, she'd find out pretty quick who's got the muscle. She's pumped me up: before, I thought of this fight as some good rounds against a tall lightweight... now I'm thinking of a savage beating, followed by an early rounds knock out. Good job, Kel!" Black bikini for Kaley - sporty battle-bun with wispy bangs; black gloves. Kelly sees black, counters with red - scarlet bandeau bikini for Brook; black gloves; hair loose/curly.

During R1: Kaley circling right, hands at her sides... she affecting a Biel-look - curling in off Kelly's left shoulder to lead right hands off the pounce. Kelly turning, staying tall: she's taking little half-steps back to create gaps, trying to pin Kaley with the jab, then hurt her righty. Minute mark, all comes together for Brook: she sucks pouncing Kaley into a gap - jabs her stiff - chases her back a heavy right hand... Cuoco forced back outside, blinking. Kelly stepping in behind the jab - pounding if off blonde pate - then leaning in and BOOMING the right hand off Kaley's chest. Long, freight-train blast spanks loud off Kaley's breasts, driving her backward all mouth open "AH!", eyes wide open in shock. Kelly grinning, hopping forward: there's hup-hup jug-mugging inside, then there's catastrophic wallop to jug - Kelly employing the latter in the first.

R2: Kaley slides inside Kelly's extended jab, fitting tall brunette for jagged left uppercut to sternum: brunette face pinched in pain, lips pursed. Kaley pivots left, slides back inside Kelly's jab - fitting sharp left uppercut to chin: Brook clipped, knees giving way, then sending her reeling to ropes. Kaley in off the pounce: she's through to Kelly's chest, savaging those hulking British breasts via hup-hup-hup short-shrugging lefts and rights. Whining Kelly clinches - eyes shut tight in agony: ref issues break, pushing brawny Kaley back. Cuoco pounces back in - determined to fight off Kaley's chest: blonde girl wriggling inside - tidying up the paunch via cuffing lefts and rights, then marauding up top to work those kegs. Kelly groaning, sagging against ropes, distraught as Kaley works her: brunette reduced to breathless clinches, just trying to bog blonde down. Final minute - Kaley continue to push her way in and work: Kelly fits her for a right uppercut to chin while riding left hand behind Cuoco's head: instant leg-shimmy, followed by Kaley swaying on the spot! Kelly snarling, brawling her way off the ropes - sweeping lefts and rights bounce off Kaley's head/shoulders as she ducks and staggers backward. Kelly storming forward... Kaley dives back in, driving overhand right into pit off Brook's belly, stopping rampaging Brit in her tracks with a throaty "GAHH!" Kaley rattled, but doing enough early and very late to carry a dangerous second.

R3: Kaley being Kaley: circling to either side with left hand dangling/right hand cocked; stitching in and out all nimble-quick; featuring the stoop-jab to tummy; swift-hooking Brook's mouthwatering jugs; feinting Kelly, then bringing the hesitation right hands. Brook circling the wagons - forming defensive V with elbows collected beneath her breasts - hands bracing her cheeks: Kaley takes the opportunity to muscle up and whack Kelly some truly horrid buggywhip right hands in the left-side ribs. Bell: bright smile Kaley - blonde back all glistening with sweat after a walloping shutout third.

R4: Brook adjusts, shows class. She's standing taller - weight on back (right) foot; she's slide stepping back in anticipation of blonde incursions - creating gap-traps for pouncing Kaley; she's meeting Kaley with jabs as blonde jumps in - good thumping contact chest or pate. Cuoco's penetrations greatly problematized - cat and mouse game develops between ballistic Kaley trying to shoot her way in, and gun-platform Kelly looking to deny access. Brook's steadiness prevails: Kaley landing the odd grazing shot, at great cost as Kelly plays cool sharpshooter through 4.

R5: Same as the fourth - Kelly hanging back, luring Kaley in only to jab her to a halt; hook her to the body; chase her back rangy right hands. Results for Cuoco: embarrassment; small mouse forming under left eye; several scary moments as she barely evades roaring right hands during scampering backpedals. Kelly stepping forward late - walking Kaley down with that ramrod jab - artillery bombardment preceding every patient British advance.

R6: Kelly continues first half success into the second - continuing to stymie Kaley's pounce via disciplined, heavy jabs - breaking up blonde rushes, then going over to offence once Cuoco's discouraged. Kaley frowning, confused: she's being shelled to bits, unable to land her own sudden power shots as Kelly's tactics dictate terms. Bell: smug British dimples and dancing eyes; lecture for Kaley on her stool as corner hastily implements adjustments.

R7: Kaley bobbing at the waist, showing supple: she's refusing to pounce-lead - instead luring Kelly forward, slipping her jab, and looking to shock her lead hooks. Kaley squirting past Kelly's jab, establishing inside: blonde switching tactics, looking to work/fight off brunette chest. Ratatatat combos beat at Kelly's paunch - blonde in there snug, shoulders rotating. Short-jerk uppercuts punch-up Kelly's jugs - Kaley always quick to reach in and clinch after plowing rack - walking Kelly around/moving brunette feet. Interior strategy good for Kaley: she's busier, quicker-mitted: Kelly grumpy - just trying to get her left shoulder into Kaley's chest, hoping to nudge her off.

R8: Bitter toe-to-toe as Kelly stands ground, accepts Kaley onto left shoulder, and trades with her. Kaley: chopping/swatting lefts and rights, snatching belly/breasts/jaw with swiping mitts. Kelly: dip-digging left hooks to blonde paunch; bumping the left shoulder; short-jerking right uppercuts to chin. Even, brutal trade as girls grunt n' gasp - rarely a let up as one or the other's always working. Down the stretch - Kelly turning Kaley with left shoulder... brunette steps right (rear) foot back; rips a withering hook amidships - bunching Kaley up "GUH!"; clips a short, muscular left uppercut clean to chin - six inch punch stunning Kaley and DROPPING HER TO HER KNEES! Cuoco open-mouthed, on all fours... she's a frazzled beauty, panting, shellshocked at bell!

R9: Kaley gets inside via pawing double jab: Kelly squirms with her, looking to establish left shoulder in blonde chest. Sweaty work: Kaley gritting teeth, committing to body like she's never committed before... tearing at paunch and flanks with snapping, snatching, hateful swats. Kelly gasping, giving ground: Kaley's hurting her, punishing her midsection and breasts - brunette trying to bump-off and fit Kaley for another uppercut. Brutal trading sees Kaley dig for points: Kelly hurt, mouthbreathing at bell, walking back to her corner hands-on-hips.

R10: Kaley jabbing her way to Kelly's chest, walking her to ropes: blonde girl atop brunette as Brook leans back into cables. Kelly cupping hands at Kaley's ears, controlling the head - occasionally sliding Kaley into head/right arm tie-ups. Kaley punishing the Brook breadbasket - pumping both fists in as she lays forehead against Kelly's clavicles. Kaley writhing her way out of Kelly's clinches - working hard to beat the body, then suddenly ripping right uppercuts off the right foot/left uppies off the left foot to clip Kelly's chin. BROOK GOES DOWN! Accumulation of steady work sees Kel wobble to all fours... British girl panting, forlorn, trembling. Gasping-8, Kelly B: Kaley C wades back in, showing jab to body and LOOPING righty over the top, smashing Kelly's face a torrid stroke. Crowd shouting as Kelly's smote: Brook's head lolling after absorbing Kaley's hardest shot of the fight. Kelly swooning - reaching to hug around Kaley's shoulders: blonde girl shimmying herself free, tidying up the breadbasket hup-hup-hup then CHUGGING UP INTO THOSE JUGS! Kaley bearing her fangs - in close on Kelly, just shrugging left/rights up underneath to bunch up the meat. Poor Kelly's head lolling, lips curling off teeth, hair damp in her eyes... she's a sagging mess, slumping against ropes, jugs a-jumpin' under Kaley's relentless pumpin' and THE REF STEPS IN! TKO10 with just seconds left - Kaley Cuoco!

After: Controversy! Ref ducks a stool lobbed from Jeri's corner... Kelly jug-mugged out on her feet, but blubbering in protest... strong legs WERE holding her up despite Kaley's romping assault - no indication that Kelly couldn't have gone the distance, despite the one-sided shellacking late. "She was out," Kaley asserts, face badly lumped up by stiff Brook left hands. "She was finished. It's not just the jug - I WAS taking that, but the bodyshots - the bodyshots killed her. We made a big adjustment at the halfway point to get inside her jab and work off her chest, and it was a brilliant move. She couldn't handle me in close, and I beat the guts out of her. Plus I landed that huge right hand late - ref probably should have stopped it right then, 'cause she was helpless. So I was right: I'm better than Kelly Brook. But I was also wrong: Kelly's no joke. I do apologize for saying that earlier."