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29 Ocotber 2004 Laetitia Casta vs Jenny McCarthy

Page history last edited by Dradis 15 years ago

Posted by simguy on 10/29/2004, 7:22 am,

 

Before: Tempestuous match up surprisingly testy in pre-fight - photo sessions break down into shoving matches as girls position early for psychological high ground in this fight. Casta having her troubles this year - some experts cite the disruptive stable machinations as a contributing factor to her decline. "Some girls love the turbulence," says one old time scribe. "You look at Jenny McCarthy or even a pageant girl like Ali Landry - they actually thrive in a negative environment and seek to establish those conditions in the first place. Casta would probably benefit from a more stable home base, but she's just going to have fight through it - her enemies don't look they're going anywhere anytime soon."  Promoters trying to promote a little jug-envy for this fight, break out the ol' big-tent two-tiered weigh scale. Casta in fuzzy-soft leopard print bikini, hair up, Jenny in black bikini, hair up.

 

During R1: Sparring session Casta as she goes bell to bell on Jenny Mac. 'Tish jabbing to set the table, hooking and crossing, then pushing Jenny off while stepping to the right - Mac just moving in, covering up, taking her medicine, then going where she's told. Laetitia workmanlike - touching Jenny upstairs and down, cuffing, buffeting and shoving her. Jenny lacklustre, sluggish, dukes at her mouth as she can't seem to decide what to do.

 

R2: Casta backs up the efficient output of the first with slick D this round as McCarthy finally moves her hands to no effect. Jenny slinging single power shots - Casta seeing them well, slipping them, stepping out on them - she's sidestepping blonde bull and making Mac look amaturish. Casta doubling up on her hook, goes tummy/jug, tummy/jug as she steps to her left - McCarthy grunting on impact. Down the stretch, Tish combination punching backing Jen to the ropes - blonde looking confused when Laetitia helps herself to jug with an upthrusting of hungry lefts and rights, bending her knees for leverage to get up into that rack at the bell. Mac shouting out in protest - sweet smile and pursed lips from Casta as French woman takes what she wants.

 

R3: Girls trade early hooks - Casta's knees knock, she's hurt and takes evasive action. Once again, good slick D from Laetitia as she retreats to corners, bounces off adjacent ropes and gets around Jenny, confounding blonde attempts to pile on. Jenny stomping forward, trying to land more thunder - but toward round's end, Casta's re-establishing the jab, keeping her back clear of ropes and peppering Jenny outside.

 

R4: Jenny getting more the range and activity she wanted - she has boxing skills, but she's determined to be the puncher this round. Hard working toe-to-toe, girls grinding temples and cheeks as hooks tug and dig at jug and tummy, right hands curl in behind elbows and wedge in above hips. Late the round, series of short, clipping hooks and right uppercuts from Jenny spills Casta groggy to the ropes - French woman staring hurt as MAC GOES RACK! Jenny finally unleashing to Casta baguettes, dipping her shoulders and heaving up into those beefy beauties without restraint. Casta sobbing aloud, trying to clinch wide - Jenny's just punching through it, putting her stamp all over Laetitia's moneymakers. Bell: Jenny lands late and cheap to the mouth, draping Casta stunned on the ropes as ref jumps in.

 

R5: Casta leather-shy, legging out the first minute - she's making Jenny miss, but McCarthy building up momentum as she's practically jogging to run Laetitia down. Midway through, blonde lands an overhand right as Casta attempts to skid to her left along the ropes - THERE GO LAETITIA'S LEGS! 'Tish hits the corner, rights herself and ON COMES JENNY! OH the low blows - Mac dropping her shoulders and rolling in a pumping 1,2,3, then shouldering weepy Casta back for more. Belly, tits, chin - Jenny just gritting her teeth, stacking Casta up and going right at her with short, brutal punches. La-Tish shipwrecked, legs outfront of her as she sits on a turnbuckle - Jenny's rampaging fists smashing into firm tummy, ribs, jug - blonde gorging herself on Casta's lush, defenceless frame. REF JUMPS IN! It's OVER - TKO5 as a blubbering Laetitia Casta is cradled to safety - Jenny Mac screaming and leaping away in exultation.

 

After: HBO execs hurriedly slap in that Soviet-era Swan Lake tape - we'll have to rely on Tech/Samdog reports for anything that follows. Anytime jugs are weighed in pre-fight - I fear the worst.

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