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3 January 2010 Maria Menounos vs Sofia Vergara

Page history last edited by Archer844 14 years, 3 months ago

BOXING AFTER DARK

 

 

 

Posted by simguy on 1/3/2010, 9:48 am

 

BEFORE: Menounos awarded her first managerial contract: pretty brunette is over the moon. "It makes a huge difference," Maria grins in prefight. "For the first time in my career, I'm getting scouting reports WEEKS in advance. I've got help breaking Sofia's game down, and we've moved on her without warning: SHE'S the girl who's scrambling to get ready on short notice, while I've been prepping for her, for weeks. We've got a great plan in place for Vergara: we know how powerful she is, but we know exactly what we need to do to counter it. Not gonna get into specifics, but it won't be traditional boxing fellahs - she's too destructive for that." Sofia the so-called "Colombian Zeta Jones" for her high-cheekboned regal presence...Vergara long used by HBO as a prelim crowd pleaser for her haughty looks, zaftig body, and jaw-breaking power: she's not impressed by slender Maria. "I will smash her to pieces," Sofia shrugs at podium, still several pounds away from the lightweight limit. "What I hit, I break, and Maria's going to get hit." Menounos in brown bikini; black gloves; messy ponytail; Vergara in vivid neon baby blue bikini; black hair in unrully tangles; white gloves.

During R1: Menounos springy legged, immediately circling wide to her left at the hop. As Vergara moves to cut off the ring, Maria changes direction, loping to her right, never letting Sofia set her feet. Hit and run attacks from Maria, concentrated on Sofia's body: the wide, whippy right to waist or flank, often followed by a shoving left to pit of Sofia's stomach. Maria quick to scamper away after pounding the pudding - not anxious to stand toe to toe. Vergara stalking, loading up and frequently pre-empted: she's having trouble obtaining punching solutions. Grazing contact on Maria as she's pulling out - Vergara not doing much damage, but she's coming forward, making the fight. Bell: Vergara disgusted, waving Maria on and demanding a slugfest.

R2: Same basic recipe for Maria: loping, wide circular movement punctuated by sudden, free-swinging attacks and scampering retreats. Heavy shellack applied to Sofia's body: Maria lashing in that wide right hand to good effect, reddening Colombian left flank. Maria's left a secondary punch - sticking into Sofia's tummy or breasts as Menounos falls off to the left: it's preventing Vergara from immediately answering. Midway through, heaving potshotting of Sofia's torso has her breathing hard, loosening up: Menounos able to step in with a slapping left/driving right cross combo to shock her zaftig foe. Vergara staggering back all jugs a-jumpin': she hits ropes in shock, covering up peek-a-boo as MARIA WADES IN! Menounos squares up for the first time, limber limbs a-chugging: MARIA WANTS RACK! Furious hup-hup barrage of rising rights and lefts sets Vergara's hulking jugs a-sloshing - Sofia momentarily astonished by the assault. Vergara getting lit up, but banging back: hooks find Maria's chin as she's pre-occupied with moving mounds. Maria clouted, but Sofia's weight is back - Vergara not getting all her curves into the blows as crowd-pleasing free-for-all ends the round.

R3: Sofia presses the attack early, dark eyes flashing...Maria simply runs from it - even breaking into a leggy jog at one point. Vergara drawn forward and disorganized in pursuit: Maria able to curl back in at her attacker - pre-empting Sofia with wide, swinging rights and shoving lefts, scoring head and body blows in tic-toc succession. Vergara rocked again through middle minute - thrown over to defence as she covers up earmuff: Maria given free-reign to circle and vex her buxom foe. Good, digging left uppercuts gouge up underneath on Sofia as she's leaning forward behind her gloves: Maria smiling as she pops hips-right to rip these babies home, tapping the Vergara reserves. Down the stretch, Vergara mouth breathing, stumbling forward as Maria retreats in good order - walking her foe into succulent buggy-whip right hands above left flank.

R4: Maria's legs the decisive facter: all that road work paying off as she circles/pivots/sidesteps briskly, turning either Vergara flank at will. Sofia exhausted: buxom Colombian doesn't do roadwork, preferring competitive La Conquista bouts to furnish her cardio needs: it's just not the right forumula. Maria able to lash right hands to mouthwatering Colombian tummy and fnalk - shoving that sticky left into stomach or tits to forestall receipts. Vergara turning, grimacing: she's a frustrated beauty who just can't bring her fight-winning guns to bear. Vergara getting off - grazing Maria's shoulders or scalp...but Menounos always legging away at the time, taking the edge off. It's adding up on Sofia: the constant movement; the potshotting body attack; the opportunistic jug-mugging...she's a disheveled, cranky vixen at the bell, walking hands-on-hips to her corner.

R5: Sofia angry, desperate for collision...she charges out at the bell, intent on demolition. Maria simply runs away - jogging or hopping the perimeter, keeping her distance until Colombian fury peters out. Minute in, Maria curls into her attacks, stepping in off Vergara's left shoulder to sling that right wide to the body, then poke home the forget-me-not left. Sofia wheezing in pain, coming apart: Maria steps in close, plowing in the bolo-right uppercut deep to Colombian breadbasket. Sofia crying out, arms reaching wide to embrace: Maria compact in the pocket, dips n' digs a gouging left uppercut to Vergara's tummy, bunching her up hurrrrt. Maria swivel-pivots right around her left heel, leans in to chop the right hand short to Sofia's left ear...Vergara spills forward, legs rebelling. Pivoting, Maria stays to the left of Sofia while chopping rights at Vergara's head...Colombian beauty staggers past, stumbling to her knees face-first in ropes. Vergara gasping, badly knocked...she climbs ropes to beat the count, but ref waves off the fight when he sees thos glassy eyes. TKO5 Maria Menounos.

After: Maria jubilant - she posts a rousing, unexpectedly one-sided pasting over a potentially lethal puncher to inaugurate her new contract. "I beat this girl in the gym," Maira proudly says, with some justification. "I'm up every morning, pounding out miles before I even I even get to camp: I swear, I wasn't even breathing hard against Vergara tonight. I didn't jab her because I didn't want to get caught over top: everything I hit her with was hard to the body, to tire her out and take away her power. That's strategy, and I owe my guys that: for sure, I wouldn't have been able to fight Sofia this way if I were on my own!"

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