Originally posted by Simguy on 7/3/2003, 7:49 pm

Before: “Jewel isn’t Brittany Daniel,” Jenny G tells the press, “I respect her and I think she respects me. I think the whole thing with Daniel has been blown out of proportion--this fight has nothing to do with that fight.”

Tell that to the Krushers. “I think we all felt for Brittany when Jennifer was…was, you know, going at her kidneys. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I feel some responsibility to get Garner in trouble for that. I’ll hurt her if I can, and you know, if I hurt her, I’ll stop her. If it gets personal after that—Jennifer’s only got herself to blame.”

Jenny in neon blue bra style bikini, Jewel in navy bandeau bikini, slick ponytail.

During R1: Garner walking right, looking things over—Jewel stalking after her, Nothing for almost 30 seconds, then garner twitches a feint, drops a sizzling right in over Jewel’s shoulder and JEWEL’S SYEPPING IN FENCE POST HOLES! Assassin’s precision from Garner, and she’s patient on follow through, jabbing at Jewel, stepping back, walking a groggy blonde into more chopping, short right hands, then turning her back the bell. Rest of the way, methodical stuff stuff from Garner—taking no chances. She jabs up top, snatches hooks at the ribs, steps away to the right with cold eyes as Kilcher struggles forward.

R2: Shutout number 2—Jenny razor, razor sharp tonight, Garner stepping to either side behind a sticking jab—Jewel lifting her mitts to the eyebrows, grunting as Garner shoots rights straight down into the sternum or gouges out those ribs the hook. Midway through, pretty combination rattles Jewel midring—she’s covered up, riding it out—when Garner ends the sequence with a post-card perfect left uppercut between the mitts. Jewel staggering in a random pattern, but again—nothing rushed from Jenny-she steps right, bangs out the jab, steps right again, looking for the body as blonde doesn’t know what to defend.

R3: Garner setting a hard pace, stepping angry-butt around her girl, appraising Jewel, carving in off either shoulder and putting combinations on target\. Kilcher busting up and breaking down—hard right hand over her crossed arms shoots the mouthpiece off her teeth—she’s ragged. Garner circling, getting off, circling again and she’s taking what she wants. She’ll step in, dig right hands hard underneath Jewel’s crossed arms, keeping her chin safe outside Kilcher’s right shoulder—Jewel groaning, falling forward on shaky legs. Midway through, Garner digs the right hand to paunch, steps out with a  clipping forget-me-not hook, steps again as Jewel blunders in and NAILS Kilcher a gorgeous hesitation right on the cheek. Kilcher’s arms crossed, feet squaring up, she wobbles, then sits down crosslegged in a pose so queasy/funny ringsiders laugh out loud at the hurt. Jewel beats the count, but eyes are blank, mouth open and on come Jen. Garner not sparing the lash—now she tears at Jewel’s right side the hook, coming off the body to lick the chin, then plugging home multiple rights to the body. Kilcher butt-in-ropes, stooped forward, taking murderous punishment on stalwart legs. Final moments, Jennifer steps back appalled at what’s she’s dealing—motions ref in, but rounds ends as Kilcher sways out on her feet. Jewel’s face a ruin—eyes swelling, nose bleeding—she’s being dismantled through 3.

R4: Jewel coming forward, arms crossed, feet shuffling, toes digging into canvas—OH she’s hurt. Jen letting her come, jabbing to stack her up, then getting those methodical body touches. Midway through, Jewel dipping side to side slaps Jennifer’s face a hook—Garner stepping out startled—crowd cheering as Kilcher finally lands. Jennifer legging out the round, making moves at the ropes then spinning out—she gives away a default round as Jewel’s the clear, if battered, aggressor.

R5: Back to business. Garner’s legs set the table—she doesn’t stick around for receipts. Jabs position Jewel, steer her around, pre-empt her. Rights in the body set up hooks on the chin and combinations tear up Jewel’s wilting defenses and ragged reflexes. Crowd oohing and aahing as Garner pretties Jewel up—slashing at the face, raking the ribs, getting gorgeously articulated uppercuts that lift Jewel’s head up woozy from her gloves. Final minute, Garner drops that wicked lead right over Jewel’s shoulder and undoes the blonde’s legs again. Jenny stepping out, motioning for the ref to stop this thing, but he shakes his head, ordering her to defend herself at all times!

R6: Jewel Kilcher fans looks away. Garner locked on, muscles hardening into view as she snaps off power punches—she wants Jewel out of there. Kilcher reeling to the ropes, then battered along them. Garner hammering hooters for the first time—biting in the hook, biting in the hook—Jewel sobbing out as Garner takes what she wants. Jen migrating to the face, getting 2 and 3 jolting rights and lefts in, stepping out to let Jewel fall, only Kilcher doesn’t. Jewel helpless, getting savaged, ringsiders screaming for her safety, but battered blonde just won’t take a knee. She’s tilted forward, arms hugging dumb about her body, face getting pulped as Ken puts heartless combos together and FINALLY the ref steps in. Kilcher numb, out on her feet, mouth bloody against the man’s shoulder—Jennifer Garner with a last hard look before turning and marching away. KO6 Jenny G.

After: Kilcher taken immediately to hospital as HISC lawyers and Krusher publicists mix it up ringside—hard feelings all around as once again, Garner chews up and spits out a pretty crusher blonde. Garner very critical of the officiating for this bout. “I’d like to see this ref get a suspension—that was criminal what he made me do to Jewel tonight. She was just outclassed, getting shredded and too damn gutsy for her own good.” BLONDE! magazine not buying it—editorial holds Jennifer completely responsible for the heinous beating. Performance bringing to mind the so-called “perfect annihilation” meted out by Lucy Liu to Gillian Anderson some years ago: every garner round won by shutout, power punches landed in each of those rounds—just devastating, one-sided mauling,

Reposted by Archer 5/4/09.