Part 1

Posted by Simguy on 6/3/2005, 6:20 pm.

Before: "It's such a great feeling, knowing that one shot - just one punch - could end your opponent's night," Elisha smiles. "I've got that kind of power over Katie. I'm stronger - Katie knows it, and you know what? At least I'm famous for my work, not for who I'm dating. By the way, for all you handicappers out there - I say Tom dumps her in 6 months tops!" Holmes hearing a lot of that sort of thing - starting to wear a little thin. "Listen, tramp - I'm in a freaking Batman movie ok? Doesn't get much bigger than that. What was your last tour de force? Playing second fiddle to Paris Hilton? Ooh, that's good work if you can get it. As for this fight - strength doesn't mean much without heart to back it up, and that's how I see Cuthbert. Strong as an ox outside, weak as a kitten where it counts and don't even get me started on how stupid she is." Movie garb both vixens - Elisha in hot pink push up and panties from Girl Next Door, Katie in royal blue skirted bikini from First Daughter. No love during staredown - usually genial Holmes well-ruffled by her irritating opponent.

During R1: Muscular opening minute Elisha, bombarding Katie along the ropes, beating brunette's slender arms, flanks with wide slugging lefts and rights. Holmes rides it out, spins off the ropes, steadies the ship with a spitting jab, then NAILS Elisha a respect-getting right cross. Katie punching so hard, she curls into the blow, back foot coming up off the canvas - Cuthbert catching clout on her jaw and stumbling away with a bewildered expression. Holmes rangy, keeping her distance, working Elisha's tender brows with a busy flicking stick, going to the body snip-snap right/lefts - Cuthbert on her heels, turning, dukes up, palms out as Holmes applies class in the first.

R2: Elisha trying to make headway - Holmes not cooperating. Katie steppin' lively 'round her jab - stinging Elisha, popping her in the mouth, on the eye - blonde on her heels, hands up to block the incoming. Katie sliding in long, banging right hands - threading Cuthbert's raised, but disorganized defence - good jarring blows piling up on Elisha's jaw. And look at the body work! Katie jabbing Elisha's forehead, then leaning in to lick right/left on stubborn blonde paunch - Katie getting good fresh spank off that tummy, then circling away from trouble. Down the stretch, Elisha confused, defending near the ropes - Katie flutter-jabs to screen, rips a tidy right uppercut to the chin, slings a lanky hook to temple and SITS ELISHA DOWN! Cuthbert staring, gaping in astonishment: Katie's just lifted her off her feet!

R3: Cuthbert shakes it off, bats her gloves together off her stool and storms into the Holmes corner for payback. Katie tackled, hurled into turnbuckles then systematically bludgeoned - Holmes getting sacked for a loss this round. Bell to bell Elisha - blonde just squared away and bashing at all things Katie, hammering those tanned arms, beating the chest, squirming in close and chugging away to ribs and jug. Katie grimacing, trying to keep it together - she's blocking and rolling well, but Elisha's baseball bat attack to flanks and arms still shaking Katie, wearing her out. Holmes simply covering up, shipping a beat-down to the break - she's blinking back tears, glaring hurt, hateful eyes at Elisha: savage satisfaction on Cuthbert's face as she licks her lips, nods aggressively as ref moves in.

R4: Elisha's got the formula, continues to execute it. Job 1 - Pancake Katie to ropes and be very rough, physical with her. Job 2, punch Katie very hard indeed - beat her about her flanks and arms when she cowers, teach her there's nowhere to hide in there. Cuthbert hamhanded, loving it - she'll wriggle in close, reaching her arms under Katie's to chest willowy brunette against the ropes - she'll ride her left on Katie's shoulder to brace her for marauding right hands. Elisha banging that body, trying to make Katie quit downstairs, but the odd hook or clubbing overhand right cuffing Holmes about the ears as well. Katie grimacing, baring her teeth under pressure, alternately trying to push Elisha off by her shoulders or tie her up head and arm. Back to back shutouts Cuthbert - she sends Katie to her corner on the verge of tears. Wincing Holmes tells her trainer, "She's too strong..." as work's being done - guy shames her back into focus by asking, "You want me to throw in the towel? You want to quit? Maybe she'll walk you if we ask real nice."

R5: Katie responds, boxing, moving, giving angles. Holmes jab always her best punch, but now it's a real stick - keeping Elisha at bay, steering her midring. Holmes not running, but constantly stepping, swivelling to her left - she just can't stand in front of Cuthbert all night. Elisha leaning back, hands up, swatting at Katie's long-armed blows, bending at the waist, leaning in with dukes at her temples then leaning out - blonde just can't negotiate all that poke. Katie stays away, works her plan, bloodies Elisha's nose in a classy boxing fifth.

Cuthbert/Holmes conc.

Posted by Simguy on 6/3/2005, 6:22 pm.

R6: Holmes making it work - jabbing Cuthbert to distraction, dropping the odd right hand when it's there, but staying safety first, rotating on the outside. Cuthbert frustrated, not throwing much because Katie's not letting blonde set her feet. Holmes not hurting Elisha, but scoring some eye-catching right hands on the mouth, and that snik-snak right/left on the body leaves Cuthbert staring whenever Katie strokes it.

R7: Katie showing the consistency boxers need to have - executing the fight plan, keeping her distance, turning Elisha midring. Cuthbert breaking down mentally if not physically - she's crossing her arms, bending forward, trying to bull her way in at times, but Holmes sidestepping, melting away from pressure just keeps pulling the strings. 'Lish on her heels at times, baffled as Katie punches right hands to the head and mouth - brunette piling up points, wearing her girl down through 7 sharpshooting heats.

R8: Katie circling, piercing Elisha's ragged defence with that stinging jab, straight right hands - blonde starting to bust up, looking more and more frazzled, weight on her back foot as she's unable to come forward constructively. Midway through - Katie jabs forehead, freezing Elisha, edges in close to lick that right/left to paunch, but this time, Katie stays on the front foot and picks Elisha up the left uppercut. CUTHBERT GOES DOWN! Pinpoint poke startles Cuthbert's legs, drops her to all fours - Elisha up quickly, but eyes are brimming with embarrassed tears as Holmes sashays to neutral corner. Katie's eyes dancing after 8 - she's got Elisha discouraged, she's got Elisha hurt and Holmes POURS in! Katie ripping Cuthbert right uppercuts, putting the hook on top - Elisha belted stupid to ropes, staring in wonder as Katie's taking it to her! Cuthbert reaching for tanned brunette hips - Katie brushes her back the uppercut, clouts her the hook - Elisha's right there for the punches. CUTHBERT GOES DOWN! The real thing this time - Cuthbert sinking to her knees after a series of pounding Katie lefts and rights off her head - blonde panting, shaking her head in disbelief as beaming brunette jogs to neutral corner. Katie PUMPED, goes hard at the dregs - she lets her hands go from a wide stance as poor Elisha sits in the ropes and TURTLES! Holmes romping to the bell, unspeakable glee in her eyes - she's giving Elisha extra when the ref bodies hungry brunette off.

R9: Katie the bully! Holmes stalking, planting that front leg when she steps in to spear her jab to Elisha's face - brunette banging away stick on a discouraged, blubbery blonde. Cuthbert moving backward's no threat - she's just trying to evade stick, doesn't want any more Katie. Holmes fixing Elisha's position with the jab, then slinging right hands wide to body and jaw - really getting those long lines behind supple lash and stroking Cuthbert hard. Elisha a hard-headed girl, takes the shellack, keeps her feet and staggers along the perimeter - nothing coming back from Cuthbert. Katie even showing a belly jab, touching Elisha in the body when Cuthbert's hands are too high: comprehensive domination from Holmes tonight!

R10: Katie getting limber, dipping to the left and licking Jessica Alba style hooks up into Elisha - glove landing with a pleasing, moist THUP! against Cuthbert's tummy. Elisha groggy, stumbling forward crossed arm - she bumbles into Katie's chest, suddenly realizes she's in close and TURNS ON A BOOMING HOOK! HOLMES GOES DOWN! HOLMES GOES DOWN! Katie flattened to her back and HURRRRRT! Holmes' head drowsy up off the canvas, eyelashes fluttering - she rolls to her side to pick herself up for a SHABBY 8 and ON COMES ELISHA! Cuthbert HURLING herself at cringing Katie - Holmes covering up and bending forward, setting herself for the coming avalance. Elisha baring her teeth, clobbering away brawny rights and lefts swish-swish across the back and shoulders of Holmes - mindless hate on every blow. Katie's legs trembling, threatening to give way - she reaches in around Cuthbert's waist - Katie's cheek on Elisha's hip. Blonde standing tall, wedging in thick lefts and rights above Katie's hip until ref comes in with the break. Holmes issues more clinches, breaking blonde momentum, then down the stretch, re-establishes the jab midring. Katie hurt, not as fluid, but she's taming Cuthbert, turning her - brunette discipline reasserts in the nick of time to run the clock to the bell. Comes back UD10 wide, Katie Holmes.

After: Girls still exchanging verbal barbs - Elisha telling Holmes she got lucky, Katie rubbing in the victory - Cuthbert getting under Katie's skin like only Elisha can, brings out the worst in usually gracious brunette. "Overall, I'm very pleased," a calmer Katie says on camera in postfight. "I boxed this wench, busted her up, fought my fight. She was stronger than me, but I wouldn't let her bully me and that's what boxing's all about. I was SO pumped to put her down - she never dreamed I could hurt her and I know I got carried away looking for the knockout, but for the most part, I felt like Elisha Cuthbert couldn't handle me." Puffy-faced Cuthbert sees it a different way. "It's all politics," Elisha says of the decision. "Like I'm going to get a decision over Tom Cruise's girlfriend? Get real. I bullied this tramp, I had her crying - all she did was pittypat and run all night. Those so-called knockdowns were slips - I got tangled up and tripped - no way Katie Holmes punching takes Elisha Cuthbert off her feet. I'm not done with Holmes - she's a punk and a cheap opportunist. When her 15 minutes are up and she's waiting tables again, I'll beat her up for free right there in the restaurant!"

Thanks to Apollo for this repost.

Archer 10/19/09