Part 1:

Posted by Simguy on 6/3/2005, 6:56 am.

Before: Battle for leg supremacy on as Tricia Helfer wipes away all other claimants save this last, at least in Stacy's mind. "My legs are 10 times stronger than Tricia's," says Keebs in all sincerity, "there's no comparison. Legs are my trademark, simple as that - Tricia needs to learn that and quit hogging my spots. I should be getting first refusal on the opponents Helfer's had - the whole Tricia Helfer thing is out of control." Tricia staying composed, but the Keibler threat's been brewing for a long time: Helfer champing at the bit to get it on. "I'm not going to get into a debate over which one of us is leggier," says classy Trish, "that's for the fans, and this fight, to decide. All I can tell Stacy is that I've beaten every girl to come against me. Every girl. Turning Keibler back won't be easy, but I feel the moment is calling me: when it gets tough, my legs will stand; her's won't." BLONDE! magazine throwing it's weight behind this fight, but stopping just short of naming the victrix Queen of All Blondes or Leggiest of All Blondes. "We want to see Charlize Theron in the mix before we start lobbing supremacy titles around," says Editor in Chief of the rag. "We'd like to see the winner here go on to face Charlize and that's a fight we're going to do our best to make. Theron hasn't felt in the past that these girls have the credentials to get with her, but we think both have terrific records, both have proven themselves against great competition, and fighting each other creates a statuesque blonde threat that would look breathtaking standing across the ring from Theron." Tricia in metallic baby blue bikini - Keibler in punching peach. Seething staredown - girls jittery as thoroughbreds approaching the gate.

Before R1: TRICIA'S HURT! Keibler swinging away - long legs wide, rocking forward and back as she leans in with rights, leans away with swiping lefts - she lands over and over to Helfer's head, buckling Tricia's knees and sending her reeling to ropes in the opening seconds. Keebs stepping in all smiles - oh the sweeping shellack! Trish covering up stunned as Keebs belts away lithe-limbed lefts and rights - fists riccocheting off skull and guard, shivering off ribs. Helfer getting herself together, slides right along the ropes - Keebs shadowing the course, touching Helfer marking jabs, then laying in lanky when she can square away. Tricia woozy, but managing the hurt - clinching properly, sliding along the ropes - slowly regaining her bearings. Down the stretch, Keebs throwing herself in waves at Tricia, bombing away both hands - Helfer with that supple peek-a-boo defence rides it out, rocks into the ropes and answers back a sneaky right hand bingo on the chin. DOWN GOES KEIBLER! Stacy chopped and dropped - Helfer smoldering as she looms over fallen rival, nostrils flaring in challenge as Stacy sits up stunned. Power punches all around make it 10-9 Helfer when the dust settles.

R2: Stacy showing good resilience, shaking off supple Helfer clout and getting back in charge. Keebs calming down, stepping in gracefully with her jab and spearing Helfer - Tricia getting worked back to the ropes where she covers up limber again. Helfer rolling her torso, looking to crowd in and smother Keebs - Stacy using her legs to step out, create distance while touching Trish in the guard that measuring jab. Keebs patient, whittling at Helfer's sinewy torso big strapping rights and lefts above her hips as she rolls and slips - good lanky blonde shellack applied as Keibler takes the points.

R3: More hard working Stacy Keibler. Jab has Helfer covered up, lounging on the ropes - Stacy able to work over her opponent's glorious midsection with licking, strapping rights and lefts, then reset behind stick. Helfer looking for more sneaking counters - rolling her torso, closing up her stance and leaning into ropes - but Stacy's hard to catch the way she leans in and out.

R4: Tricia abandons the counter-punching strategy, meets Keibler midring to contest territory with her. Fencing contest - leggy lasses trying to touch each other jabs in a mutual lunge-and-fade dance. Midway through, Helfer leans back from a Keibler right, slings her own right off her hip to catch Stacy pulling straight back and KEEBLER'S DUMPED TO HER HEINIE! Stacy pops right back up, pushing against the ref to continue, but he eases her back to ropes to flash an 8 count in her face, fingers ticking off the toll. Action resumes - Tricia loping in and pulling a wide sweeping right across Stacy's waist - Keibler's legs give a shimmy - she stoops forward behind her guard, breathless with hurt. Tricia all lean and sinuous, pulling Stacy's lowered head forward to touch against Helfer's belly, then Tricia STROKES away to the hips and back! Keibler sent groaning, shuddering to all fours - bandy-armed shellack leaves her breathless, but she fights off the KO to beat the count. BEATDOWN! Tricia goes all in - loping in to attack Stacy against the apron. Helfer big n' thick with her shots, starting the motion with her hips, coming through with her shoulders, then pulling the fists into Keibler with gobsmacking torque. Stacy shivering from punishment, covering up face-in-gloves, bending forward, leaning back as punches bash against her body and skull - KEIBLER'S DOWN AGAIN! Stacy clubbed to her right hip - left hand held up plaintively to ward off any cheap blows as Helfer stomps away PUMPED at the bell.

R5: Keibs with a hell of a hill to climb, starts taking it one foot at a time. Stepping in long with the jab, finding Tricia in her midsection. Stepping around Tricia, feinting her, changing directions on her. Helfer looking to press the pace on wounded prey, but falling in, getting tied up - Keibler initiating long armed, writhing clinches as ref has to push sweating lanky bodies apart. Helfer outboxed, too anxious - Keibler stabilizes as Tricia can't close the show.

Helfer/Keibler conc.

Posted by Simguy on 6/3/2005, 6:57 am

R6: Stacy with that in-out rock step of hers starts clocking Tricia. Helfer hurt a right hand on her jaw, hurt a hook on her chin - while she's stomping around in fence post holes, she's tagged another swinging right on the chin and DROPPED A FAT HOOK! Helfer on her back, picking her head up woozy off the canvas - STACY TRAMPLES TRICIA UNDERFOOT! Keebs charging into the ropes, licking her lips as she looks back at stomped Trish a-groaning on the mat: referee's stern admonishment follows. Knock-kneed 8 Tricia - ON COMES STACY! Keibler on widespread pins, batting away lanky to the head, then galloping to the body whenever Tricia covers up tight. Gigantic pounding dished to Tricia's weeping ribs - Helfer swooning, tilting and TRICIA TAKES A KNEE! Helfer gasping for breath, desperately hurt - Keibler lifts her mitts and shrieks a triumphant taunting, telling Trish to "Stay down!" Deep Breaths Trish, she sucks it up, stands at 9, then waves Stacy on in as she covers up. Keibler loping in and stroking away - Tricia leaning inside the arc of the swinging, smothering a lot of it, ducking and slipping - when Keebs makes money, it's usually to Helfer's delicious, vulnerable flanks. Bell: Stacy breathing hard, chest heaving - Tricia starting to bust up and looking shopworn - this thing's taking it's toll.

R7: Form degrading a little - girls stepping flat footed, eyes locked, mouths open. Keebs punched out - nothing on her shots - Tricia's able to take the fight to her this round. Helfer jabbing while keeping the right on her hip, then turning her torso to sling the right upside Keibler's head, simultaneously dropping the left to her thigh. Turning the other way, Tricia's slinging the left off her hip - generating tremendous shellacking torque that's buffetting Stacy around the ring. Poor Keibler reeling from the halfway point on, getting pelted - Tricia loping after her and pulling more and more harm onto the target. Keibs trying to lean inside and smother, but Helfer adept at shortening up her stroke and swiping her punches: she's tidying up hooks tummy and chin inside, easing onto her back foot to create distance as Stacy falls in.

R8: Sloppy slugging at times - girls getting wide with sinewy shots, looping punches, falling in then struggling belly to belly. Fight burbles along the ropes - Keibler warned for using her forearm to scrub Tricia's face and throat. Tricia a little clearer-headed: she'll step to the right, hands up in that slight gull-wing, then duck back in to catch Keibs a wide right hand in the body. She'll jab, fade back, walk Stace into the licking right uppercut. She'll turn Stacy on the inside, making Keibler adjust her feet. And when they work inside, Helfer's more efficient, keeping her elbows in, swiping away and even doubling up on her hook Bronco McKart style. When Keibs goes to the body, it's with a galloping motion, arms pumping - very dramatic, but less economical than Helfer.

R9: Tricia making Stace drowsy with jabs, stepping right and punching Keibler in the mouth often enough to finally dislodge the mouthpiece. Keibs really bagged - stepping groggily, not moving her hands - Helfer able to pot that stick at will. Tricia's legs shabby, but still serviceable - she's the one dictating position, turning Keibler's left flank, touching her up. Good tactical round for Trish: she gets a breather while denying a break to Keibs with a pesky, tapping stick.

R10: Helfer moving in a walk, but moving - stepping right, pawing her jab at Stacy, tapping her, knocking her. Keibler following glum - she's puffy with poke, trying to drop her right hand over Tricia's stick, but she's way late - Stacy very broken down after a hard pace early. Second minute - Helfer starts to come in off her jab, long, sweeping right hands to the rightside ribs and across the waist - Keibler wincing, eyes moist with quit: she's hurting. Final minute, Helfer leaves no doubt - stepping in off her jab and clouting Stacy a belting right cross to send Keebs a-toppling to ropes. Stacy reeling, eyelashes fluttering, hands at her chest - Helfer helps herself to dregs. Hips, shoulders, pop: Tricia twisting lanky into hooks, doubling up on 'em, really lashing at Keibler ribs and chin. Helfer reaching her left to Stacy's right bicep while pivoting to the right - Tricia able to clock righty to chin, belting away overhand, then getting the lanky right uppercut as Stacy stands and gobbles. Keibs a trembling wreck down the stretch, but too proud to fold: world-class legs refuse to give way as Helfer beats Stacy without mercy to the bell. Ref has to push a seething Tricia Helfer back: Keibler sagging into the ropes, head lolling - she's all used up. Comes back UD10, Tricia Helfer.

After: Gobsmacking lanky body battle - but is it a Charlize Theron worthy performance? "I've never called Charlize out before because of my deep respect for the woman," says a lumped up, badly worn, but upbeat Tricia in postfight. "But things are coming to a head. My management hasn't even breathed the name Charlize Theron to me, but I think we always knew the direction I was headed. It's up to my management and the Krushers. I'd love to fight her, whether it's for blonde supremacy, leg supremacy, or just bragging rights. I just find myself wondering what she'll be like in the ring, and I'm sure she's starting to get curious about me as well."

Thanks to Apollo for this repost.

Archer 10/19/09.