Charlize Theron vs. Catherine-Zeta Jones (VII) by simguy 11/3/02

KruZherS giving out a lesson in fight promotion 101 on this card. Under Garner/Bell, Charlize stays busy with a winnable grudge fight, ostensibly a box-off, but pundits wonder whether Zeta Jones is up to the challenge.

"This isn't the same Catherine Zeta J who started out the year," says one commentator. "CZJ's looking shopworn, struggling to make weight - she's just not at her best and Theron's people know it. It's cynical - they know once Jones gets back on track that a Theron/Jones rematch is big, but they're sacrificing Cathy now to position for the title. Plus Jones can't refuse: beating Theron's about the only way to get everything back in one stroke."

Theron tanned, toned, smiling throughout weigh in and pre-fight conferences, black silk bikini - Catherine sullen, avoiding the press, comparatively pasty in red bikini.

Round1: Anyone see Roy Jones/Montel Griffen II? Theron racing to midring, sets up on flat feet and starts to sling in the lumber. Seconds in a ballistic rising hook smashes against Jones' face, staggering her on her heels. Moments later Charlize leans close, pulling in a wrecking ball right, walloping Jones to her right, then a sweeping left on the chin lifts CZJ off her feet and drops her to her butt at the ropes. Theron strutting, blowing on her mitts like they're smoking guns, taunting at Jones to get up - Cathy cut in the mouth, pushes herself to her feet, seems to be alert. Beating continues - Charlize legging in and out, arms loose, slinging vicious power punches from a variety of angles - Jones just wilting around the ring as blows rip up into her ribcage, clobber down upon her skull. Down the stretch, another slicing hook caroms off Jones' face, leaving her wobbly butt and a beaming Theron lasers in. Jolting right hand from the shoulder swivels Jones' head, buckling her knees. Charlize shifts her weight to the right foot PULLING a monster hook back into Jones' shell-shocked face and crowd GROANS upon impact! Murderous blast sends Jones stomping back on her heels and she ROLLS ONTO HER BACK! Catherine Zeta Jones, right hand draped dramatically across her brow, knees flexed, belly breathing rhythmically - she's not getting up! KO1 in spectacular fashion - Charlize Theron.

After: Charlize milking the moment, riding an arm around Catherine's shoulders, pressing face to tit with the odd flex, lazily walking Jones around the ring - Jones badly scorched, left arm around Theron's waist for support, lightning bolt gash on her forehead - what a mess! If Charlize was looking for a show-stopping performance, she got it - simply one of the most devastating displays of sustained power punching of the year. Jones sniveling in defeat - how the mighty have fallen - next stop could be mudwrestling at the county fair for this struggling beauty.